I've had an exclusive insider scoop. There's going to be a Royal wedding this year. Oh my God, I can't wait. I'm putting on my top hat, tying up my white tie and brushing off my tails.
May I send my heartiest congratulations on behalf of the good people of Plumsteadshire to Harry and Kate. We are jus..... Hang on, there's something afoot. Do my eyes deceive me or is that a picture of Harry?
What the heck, I'll order a box for family and friends anyway.