Monday, 27 August 2007

jungle drums

Over the past couple of mornings, I've woken up to the sounds of jungle drums or some sort of repetitive beat. It sounds very distant, coming from Plumstead Manor School/Plumstead High Street direction.

First of all, I thought these were noises inside my head, a bit like writing a blog (talking but no-one listening, hearing drums but no-one playing. You get where I'm coming from?).

Anyway, I'm convinced there are distant drums noises, but why on earth at 5am? Is it an illegal rave happening in Plumstead Manor? Is it the long lost tribe of Temmesmead Marshes making communication with civilisation?

Saturday, 4 August 2007

useless knowledge

Whilst being stuck on the M25 today, I stared into deep space and thought, 'I wonder how I can roll up a frying pan?'

Well now I know.

Local stuff

All quiet in da hood. Even pikey car sellers have been quiet. It must be those posters nailed to the trees. A bit of information to tell the greasy tax dodgers what's what; they don't like it up 'em. Having said that, a couple of dodgy cars have turned up, but still nothing like before. Pity really as I was going to buy a sledgehammer in the Ablair summer blue cross sale.

I thought I'd give two mentions to local businesses.

1) The butcher at the Slade. I absolutely love their new shop signage. I don't know how long it's been changed, but it is stunning. Sign-writing is a dying art, taken over by horrible printed vinyl signage, the absolutely worst offenders being kebab shops. The name of the shop is a must, but why oh why do we need a background image of a seeping roll of steaming lamb? I think I saw this abomination along Green Lanes.

So when I get some spare time, I'll pop down to the monastery and get the chaps to knock up a scroll/certificate and present it to the butcher shop for services to the enhancement of Plumsteadshire.

2) I'll not be presenting one of those scrolls to The Ship or SJ's Lounge.

I'm sorry, but SJ's Lounge just says 'porno shop' to me. It's great that they've made the effort, but man alive, I really did think a sex shop had opened in the village. At least we can be grateful that SJ hadn't opted for the printed vinyl 'seeping lamb' shop sign.

As for The Ship, I still cannot bring myself to go in. The whole place just gives off an odour of naffness. The appalling signage, the total disregard for the architectural exterior, the characterless interior. The Peter Stringfellow school of thinking, but done really badly.

I'll have to photograph the butcher shop and post it here, just to make myself feel better.