Sunday, 19 December 2010

You're hired

On the whole, I don't watch television but The Apprentice has been a must-see for me. Congratulations to local entrepreneur, Stella who has won the big job.

Monday, 6 December 2010


I don't watch cooking programmes in fact I hardly watch TV at all, but Masterchef looks top-notch with lots of tips towards my first Michelin star.

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Plumstead Common in the snow

We were told about the arrival of the snow and it arrived in great style. Here, I had captured a couple photos during a short blizzard burst and really like the slightly Lowryesque quality. The children from the local school were surely having a gay time.

matchstick men

enjoying the snow

Tuesday, 9 November 2010


The temporary traffic lights on Plumstead Common Road have been causing mayhem. Over the past few days, they have already failed a couple times and been stuck on red. Red means stop, but red on all lights means gridlock and gridlock means irate drivers honking their horns. At 5AM, this means residents get woken up. Here is a photo taken from my bedroom window.

In this age of technological wonder, is it so difficult to produce a pair of traffic lights that work properly? Even I could make up a simple switch so that when one light turns green, the other one turns red. Link it up to a timer and bingo. Set the problem as an ICT project and we're good to go (just like the traffic).

Speaking of gridlock, how long does it take to build a roundabout? Not something the size of the large hadron collider at Cern, but more like a junction between Upper Wickham Lane and Okehampton Crescent in Wellingshire. Children have been conceived and born into this World in the time it has taken to roll out out this circle of tarmac. I just hope the contractors aren't working on a daily rate. Here's a gorgeous photo I have purloined from the incredible Google Streetmap.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Comedy On The Common

Look, now. No, listen missus. 'ere, titter ye not, Comedy On The Common is back in The Shire.

At the moment, there are live comedy events on 6th November and 11th December. These seem like perfect pre-Christmas nights out to warm your cockles. Both dates fall on a Saturday, so treat yourself to an extra glass of sherry at the bar afterwards.

Saturday, 2 October 2010


It's not every day you can say you saw Johnny Depp, but "I saw Johnny Depp today".

We were on our weekly trip to Greenwich. Over the past couple of weeks, we've seen construction of a film location at the Old Naval College, nothing extraordinary about that, but this encampment is pretty big. There is an enormous marquee just for the costume department and the biggest blue bed sheets I've ever seen; these bed sheets are stretched in the back of shots and will inevitably be painted out in favour of CGI cityscapes. This is all for the new Pirates Of The Caribbean film.
Mr Depp was on set and I was surprised how close I got. Having said that, the Naval College is a pretty busy place and students need to get to their lectures - film crew or no film crew.

Friday, 1 October 2010


I have a huge backlog of musings and observations of curio's and the queer, but no time to write any of it down. Putting virtual pen to virtual paper at the moment is a real treat, however I must get back to work pretty sharpish.

These subjects must be put on hold:-
  • A quest for the ultimate custard tart. It's a sort of suburban version of the Quest for the Holy Grail but without knights, magic, swords, chivalry or a chalice.
  • Woolwich Photographic Society and their impact on the Magnum Group
  • My concept for a Plumsteadshire Modern Art Museum. You'll like the next bit - 'Tate Common'. I have an amazing concept design which will be revealed in due course.
  • My concept for a Plumsteadshire Film Club. You'll like the next bit - 'Splice Island'.
  • The best days out for children. All tried and tested by my team of experts.
Having spoken to some lovely listeners, it seems they really want to know more about my so-called neighbours known as The Shameless, the great unwashed, dole scum, soap dodgers, spongers, work-shy etcetera depending on how far they¹ are testing my patience.

This week, I've had to go and ask them to turn down their horrible boom boom music twice. Over the two years they've infested this area, I've probably knocked on their door over thirty times. I've been very close to putting an official complaint to the housing association, but I don't think it fair for them to be uprooted and moved into a faceless council estate where their children might just plummet into a chasm of no hope. Having said that, living here, they just stick out like a maggot ridden bubonic sore thumb. I know it's not exactly Hampstead Garden Suburb here, but they really are a Victorian freak show.

Actually, I have a question. Is there some modern day tribal code that dictates males of the chav genus must only wear underpants when at home²? Similarly, all windows must be kept wide open at all times? When I popped round yesterday, one mutant answered the door in his pants. Maybe it was quite warm? But I remembered whenever I popped round in deepest sub zero last Winter, they were 'dressed' as if they were holidaying in the Seychelles.

1 - they, meaning the so-called neighbours, not my lovely listeners
2 - this is a genuine question that I need feedback on

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Don't panic!!

If you're in the Woolwich area this afternoon at 4:43pm and hear an air raid siren, don't panic. The Firepower Museum will be sounding a siren to commemorate the start of The Blitz, 60 years ago. On the other hand, if you're reading this blog on a different day then walk calmly to your nearest Anderson Shelter and pray.

If you're young and have no concept of fear, of losing your house, your loved ones and your entire life, then just think for one minute how incredibly lucky you actually are.

Sunday, 29 August 2010


Driving to Ramsgate, I happened across a sign, 'THANET EARTH'. I just exploded with laughter and envy at the same time. It's a brilliant name and if I were a blogger in Dumpton Gap, I would've been over the moon to have Thanet Earth as my blog name.

I have since searched 'Thanet Earth' on the internet and it seems to be the largest greenhouse ever built since the invention of photosynthesis itself. Wow.

Having arrived at Ramsgate, I managed to park within metre's of Pugin's house; I wanted to pop in but he was out - maybe doing the weekly shop in ASDA¹. Taking an architecture tour wasn't on the agenda so will have to make another visit. I had actually driven to Ramsgate as it was the Summer Squall Arts Festival. I had great plans to take Toddler & Baby Pangloss to a couple of theatre shows, however the weather was quite wonderful, so I decided that we should just muck around on the beach. This was a great idea.

I was very impressed by Ramsgate. It felt small enough so as not feel overwhelmed and the journey was such a quick, easy drive. Minnis Bay is quite near so if I suddenly wanted a really, really quiet time, then not a problem. However, Minnis Bay doesn't have the Pelosi's Ice Cream parlour, or Morelli's which Broadstairs does.

1- Purely artistic license by the author. Pugin may prefer to shop at Waitrose instead.

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

New book shop

I nearly fell over in Woolwich today. You see, I noticed that a bookshop has opened up in our town centre. Our town centre which is going through a Renaissance; it is quite (im)possibly 'the Westfield of 'Woolwich'.

I digress.


Oh yes. I was so very shocked that I nearly fell backwards and quite inclined to utter the words, "lorks o Lordy my lorgnettes do deceive me". It is such a great thing to have a bookshop. No, it's not quite Hatchards on Piccadilly, but anything to promote reading is a great thing. WH Smith sell books, but I rarely go upstairs as I usually have a pram and it doesn't like stairs. I have thought about bumping the pram up but would prefer not to re-enact the famous scene from Battleship Potemkin, especially in Woolwich.

I will go in to the bookshop and ask if they have a first edition of Tamburlaine.

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Into The Woods

All was quiet in the deep dark woods, a fox saw a ........

I like to take the Toddler Panglosses [hmmm, that doesn't work. Pangloss Toddlers - they sound like farmers from a Pieter Bruegel painting but that's not such a bad thing].

Let's start again, I like to take the Pangloss Toddlers to the woods for a wander. Kicking up leaves, looking out for squirrels, finding pine cones, climbing over fallen trees and of course getting the all-important stick to aid our rambles. It's a really nice way to spend an afternoon.

We went to Oxleas Woods for an adventure and heard rustling. Fox? badger? Gruffalo?

You know when you turn round, see a person and they are acting really guilty? On more than one occasion, we have seen men acting very suspiciously, always walking away from us when spotted. Funny that. I think they were waiting for 'a friend' but we turned up instead; I think we put the willies up 'em.

I will say no more.

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Kill, kill, violence, yehhh, grunt

The people next door (I can't call them neighbours as there is nothing neighbourly about them), are indulging in a killing spree. From 7 o'clock last night until past midnight, the young children have been firing machine guns and exploding things on their games console. They can do as they please, but their windows are wide open¹ and all I've been hearing is the noise of death and destruction. Being a hot night, I had to close my windows and still heard it all loud and clear.

I'm fairly amazed the feral scrotes have woken up already as killing for 5 hours must be tiring. Before 10 o'clock this morning, I'm subjected to more of the same.

The Shameless family completely stick out like a sore thumb here. I'm all for integration and a mixed community, but they're not playing ball. What sickens me most is that our taxes are paying for them to continue to lounge around the house all day.

Playing Devil's Advocate, are they actually the smart ones? Why work for a living when you can stare at a TV all day long?

1- I've never understood why the Shameless keep windows wide open, even when it reached freezing point in Winter. BTW, they're not stuck open, as they have closed them once in a while.

Friday, 25 June 2010

Charlton House Spa

Most of us lead busy & exhausting lives. It's a hard slog at work and hellish commuting conditions to get back home. So, what better way to wind down than treat yourself to a spa day?

The tranquil setting of The Charlton House Spa offers a hydrotherapy pool, a crystal steam room and other fancy shmancy spa experiences. Back massages and manicures are also on offer.

It all sounds too good to be true. It's true, but this is Charlton House in Somerset.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010


I think I may be one of a majority who have never heard of a vuvuzela before this World Cup. I'm not offended by the trumpeting sound, but after the soccer competition, will it just die away as a footie fad? Let's embrace it.

I think Wimbledon would receive a real lift with the vuvzela on court number one.

Sharapova about to serve for match point. Intense concentration. VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU............

I just about noticed a house behind the flags

Travelling through Welling, I saw this tasteful addition to the English landscape. I actually really like their passion for our team in the World Cup, but don't think they have ever heard the phrase 'less is more'?

If on Wednesday, we drop out from the soccer competition, I guess the roads will be strewn with abandoned little flags torn in disgust from car windows. I fire this warning shot across the bows of Cleansweep so they can prepare themselves in case of extra litter.

Taking stuff out of boxes

I can't imagine life without the internet anymore. Finding out about anything is such a breeze although of course you need to filter out the detritus before you hit gold.

One day, the battery in my car had run flat. Lifting up the bonnet, I couldn't see where it was. Leafing through the owner's manual, I couldn't see where it was. How queer. An internet search gave me the answer. Someone who had my car (well, not my car, but they had the same model), had filmed themselves unbolting bits and moving stuff from the bonnet to reveal the battery. Brilliant. I did as I was instructed and felt the satisfaction of not paying out for a motor mechanic.

There are all sorts of video clips to be found (no tittering at the back), but I don't really get 'unpacking' videos. I've discovered that there are quite alot of these, where people film themselves removing things from their packaging. I think they are gadget geeks.

I was shopping around for a camera, so turned to the internet and found some video reviews (very useful to get real members of the public telling it like it is), then found a video of someone taking a camera out of its' box and holding each item up to the video camera. Nothing more than that. 1) Camera in bubble wrap - woooohooo. 2) Instruction manual - thrilling. 3) A power cable tied with a sandwich bag wire thing - mind blowing.

Such a video is not like the car battery video. It's not instructional. You don't need to think out of the box to open it [I'm really proud of that pun - ed.]

Here, I've found another unboxing video so you can realise that watching paint dry is relatively exciting.

Sunday, 20 June 2010

new look

Not a post about the High Street clothing outlet, but the whizzy new look to Plumsteadshire. I guess I'll be tinkering around with the style a little bit, but maybe I won't. We've been very busy at The Shire HQ, which is why the blog has been quiet. Plenty of ideas and things to say, but there just aren't enough hours in a day and all that.

Must try harder - ed.

Manga Flats

I see that the new high-rise block of flats being built next to Plumstead Railway Station is called Akira Heights.

What were the marketing department thinking of when choosing this name? The name Akira is fine although I don't see the link between a Japanese name and our corner of South East London. What I absolutely don't understand is that the Akira Heights branding is linked to the cult Japanese manga animation, Akira. I saw this film quite a few years ago and can remember it being about a motorcycle gang riding at high speed around a kind of post-nuclear war torn Tokyo, explosions and all set to a techno punk soundtrack. Call me old-fashioned, but not what I call aspirational living.

New Bookshop

Today, I nearly fell over in Woolwich town centre. I tripped up on the banana skin of surprise. There is a new bookshop. I know it's very condescending of me to even think 'Woolwich' and 'reading', but I know I won't be the only person to think this.

It's such an excellent addition to the gradual regeneration of Woolwich town centre, the Westfield of Greater East Charlton.

I'm going to pop in and see if they have any first editions of Tamburlaine.

Saturday, 5 June 2010

New local resource

Have heard about a new website called Best Of Plumstead. It's choc full of local goodness and all the staff of Plumsteadshire HQ wishes them online success.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Plumstead Make Merry

There has been a very good write up about the Make Merry Festival on The Mirror website. I love the Make Merry and thank the organisers for keeping it going. I don't know its' history but it has a medieval twang about it. With this in mind, I applaud the inclusion of the maypole, Punch and Judy¹ and the terrifying Victorian clown, but would like to see more olde worlde past times such as troubadours, falconry and witch ducking.

Saturday 5th June 12pm onwards

Plumstead Common

Sunday, 25 April 2010

Keep 'em peeled

********* Red Alert.... red alert.... *********

I have heard about one or two very, very serious incidents around Plumstead. I've heard that there have been attempts to grab children off the street, and [I think], bundle them into a car. I think this has happened around primary schools, but I don't know if it's happened in the morning or afternoon.

I'm pretty sure the children were without their parents, but don't know if they were alone or with other children.

It's very difficult to report this without being alarmist about it. I don't believe the World has become an uglier place, and do believe such incidents happened when I were a child. I remember being told not to take sweets from strangers. I remember this message from my parents and also learning this from watching TV.

People. Don't go around thinking that every car is suspicious, but just be careful. If I get time tomorrow, I'll contact the Safer Neighbourhood Team to see if they are either aware of it, or ready to hop into their panda cars when called.

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Malcolm McLaren

I never did like punk, but oddly I really liked Malcolm McLaren, however I liked his Duck Rock and Paris phases, which weren't punk at all [Dr Pangloss' stream of consciousness blogging, hence contradicting oneself in one single sentence - ed.].

MM passed away today and I feel a tiny loss, which is slightly odd as I've never met him. The two albums mentioned above have been in my record collection for decades and still get played. They've stayed with me as I've moved through different musical phases.

Once, I was on a flight from Charles De Gaulle with MM. I wasn't WITH him, but he was a few rows away, and I just wanted to tell him that I absolutely love Duck Rock. I didn't but always wish I did.

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Children's Theatre Festival

I've been meaning to blog about the Greenwich Children's Theatre Festival but something called Easter got in the way. Isn't that a pip?

Sounds like a lot of great children's shows and many happening at The Tramshed in Woolwich Village. Yes, that's pretty much on our doorstep. Wahooo...... Don't know if they're all booked out or not, but worth asking. I have taken a poll around the offices of Plumsteadshire HQ and 'Penguin' comes out on top. It's a brilliant little show with excellent songs. None of that plinky plonky tosh played on a Casio VL-Tone that is just condescending to toddlers. This is the real deal.

Penguin. Thursday 8th April. 11am & 2pm. Tramshed

I really wanted to see Tales From Old Japan, but the requirement of going to work sunk that idea.

This Saturday afternoon promises something special. A puppet show called Panfilo Pipintu will be performed in General Gordon Square and beamed direct to the Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood where Tom Cruise will......
...... oh, my mistake. It will be shown on the big television screen in General Gordon Square. Take a picnic along, sit on the grass and pretend you're at Glyndebourne.

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Kapoor's Orbit

I'm a big fan of modern architecture and rather like the work of the sculptor Anish Kapoor, so when I heard that he'd been awarded the commission to create an enormous Olympic tower, my ears pricked up.

Having seen the renders of the tower, I'm actually not too inspired. The tower doesn't say Anish Kapoor to me. Well, there is the trumpet bell shape which was seen at the Tate Modern, and the deep rich red colour, which is a signature of his. That aside, the Kapoorness is dominated by the looping super-structure which is more akin to the steelwork of a modern roller-coaster. I like this in itself, but I don't see it as an Anish Kapoor piece. Given that this tower is sponsored by a steel magnate, it's more like a giant advert for them, saying 'look what we can do!' yet at the same time, riding on the coat-tails of Kapoor's big name in the field of culture.

What I'd like to know is if we'd be able to see it from Plumstead Common. Shrewsbury Lane definitely.

Monday, 29 March 2010

The Doctor is on his way

There is some sort of three day Doctor Who event coming our way to the big television screen in General Gordon Square in Woolwich Village. Come and see exclusive Doctor footage and the new Doctor trailer in 3D!!!! Get free Doctor stuff and meet scary monsters.......wooooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...... but don't mistake old Magwitch in the market for one.

The event will take place from 1st - 3rd April and sounds like a must-see for fans of the Doctor from 5 to 555.

Sunday, 28 March 2010

Comedy On The Common

On the subject of live entertainment, it's Comedy On The Common night tonight.

Just in case you don't know the details, click here.

Free music

I thought I'd lug my battery operated portable computer to the Albany Theatre in Deptford. Familia Pangloss are enjoying some Sunday family theatre, but I've got enough work to keep me going 'til pension day so I've settled down in the café.

Have fired up the BOPC and the band are limbering up. It's a Poetry, African vibes fusion. Absolutely mesmeric.

Must get back to work.

Friday, 26 March 2010

Plumstead Live! Deuxième partie

I've had a posting from one lovely listener who is requesting musical talent for this year's Plumstead Live! event (see below). I went along to last year's and thoroughly enjoyed myself, not only that but I also felt really proud to live in The Shire. There are quite alot of people who really care about this little corner of London, and within this community, there are people who drive the way forward and make things happen in Plumsteadshire. We should count ourselves really lucky to have these members of our community, as without them there is no community.

Enough of that. Read on.

Hi everyone,

We are in the early stages of Planning Plumstead Live! which will be held on the 18th July 2010. We are looking for a local professional band to complete the programme. If you have any suggestions please can you email me (at the name of the band and their website details.

Thanks very much,


Thursday, 18 March 2010

Apple cheese

Lots of people are passionate about cooking; it's something I just can't get into. I understand the journey of creating something incredibly delicious to eat, but I prefer to board the train at the dining table instead.

Whilst having a quick surf, I tripped over the most bizarre fusion of cuisine and (one of my other passions), apples. Well, Apple Inc., well, Steve Jobs, the head of Apple Inc.

Confused? Click here. Be warned, this is bizarre.

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Severndroog Castle

Here's some wonderful news to warm our cockles on this fine Spring day.

Severndroog Castle, which is nestled in amongst the trees atop Shooter's Hill, has been awarded a substantial amount of money from the Heritage Lottery Fund to help it down the long road of restoration. The money, £595,000 no less, will go towards the formation of a visitor centre, educational centre and this is the bit I am particularly keen on, a tea room. Well, I find history lessons are so much more palatable over a cup of earl grey and cream bun.

Friday, 12 March 2010

Busta Ablair

The word on the street is that Busta Ship has bought the Ablair shop on Plumstead Common Road. I don't know if this means the sports bar is getting an annexe or if Busta is going to open a decent gastro pub to complement his current establishment. Maybe the hardware store will be brought back to life? Hmm, what could that be called? Busta Screws?

Oh yes, how about Hammer Time? I must contact my brand consultancy to come up with some more.

Saturday, 6 March 2010

Swing in to action

There seems to be a children's playground refurbishment programme happening in the area. About time too.

New fencing around the Slade swing-park and I noticed that the refurb work on the Winn's Common playground is in full swing [phew just about managed to shoe-horn an lame pun in there - ed]. I see that the new equipment being installed is the utterly excellent Kompan range; I find them very inventive and superbly designed. The swing parks in Welling have had the Kompan equipment for quite some time, not that I'm saying Greenwich needs to pull their socks up, but I just prefer to let my children play on interesting rust-free equipment in an environment free of broken glass and dogs. Maybe I'm just picky?

Not sure if the Slade equipment will receive an upgrade or not but I would jolly well hope so.

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Pop-up Alice

Going to work is a dangerous thing.

I've been working at home recently and it makes sense in so many ways, but that's by the by. For the moment, I'm concerned about going to the office and the pitfalls of being within swiping distance of a chip 'n' pin reader.

Being a nice day, I popped out in my lunch hour [I still stand for my rights to have an hour for lunch and not to eat a sandwich in front of the computer screen. In any case, crumbs in the keyboard is not a good thing]. I ended up in Foyles bookshop - already I had been lured by the Pied Piper of the High Street.

I was looking for a book on business start-ups, but being a tiny branch I had no luck. I only managed 12 feet towards the exit and something caught my eye. A book by the Pope of Pop-Up, the Origami Swami, the one and only Robert Sabuda. The book in question was Alice in Wonderland. I flicked through the display copy and was not disappointed, in fact I'm not ashamed to say that I even gasped in public. Such was the surprise and total magic of Mr Sabuda's extreme paper engineering that I was made to feel like a child again.

I had parted with some hard earned cash and clutched the tome of wonderment and made haste back to the office.

Friday, 5 February 2010

Live music tonight

I have just discovered that the rugby pavilion on Plumstead Common is hosting another evening of live music tonight. As I have a hectic work life and a ridiculously hectic home life, I've missed the last couple of events, and that has also hit my plans for visits to the laughtastic Comedy On The Common nights. Oh for a simpler life.

So, pop down to the Rugby Pavilion on The Common for some fantabulosa live music.

Doors open at 7.30pm and entrance is a paltry £5.00 UK Sterling

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

iPhone radio

The iPhone is a wonderful gadget and not a bad phone either, but one of my big gripes is the lack of a radio, something I really miss from my old Sony Ericsson.

Fortunately, I've discovered an excellent iPhone application called Tunein Radio. Now I can listen to Gardener's Question Time when I'm out and about. Not only that but I can also listen to radio stations from as far away as Hebden Bridge! Actually, this is internet radio so I can listen to stations from all over the World. It's amazing.

I told my co-worker about it and she searched for her favourite station in Sao Paolo.
We were listening within seconds. I then surfed around sampling radio from all over the globe. Zambia. Hong Kong. Hawaii. Osaka. Didn't know what they were saying but to have a taste of feeling like I'm there in real time is great.

Monday, 25 January 2010

A Three Dimensional World

As any gadget addict knows, the next big consumer must-have is 3DTV; I thought the manufacturers were trying to make them thinner, but that's by the by.

Having watched Avatar in 3D, I thought the effect was OK, but didn't create an immersive environment or enhance the story telling; having a background in experiential design I am probably a harsher critic the most.

Should we ever have 3DTV in our house it could be an interesting experience as things (ie keys or 3D glasses), get moved and hidden by forces unexplained by Arthur C Clarke. Either that or Toddler Pangloss is being playful. I'd expect 3D without the spectacles would be like watching TV with a misaligned aerial.

Much more engaging are 3D books. Pop-books.

Baby Pangloss was given some for his birthday and they keep me amused with the ingenuity of the paper engineering. Adding this simple animation to a book is great and even more so when a character jumps right out at you.

A favourite of mine are books by Robert Sabuda. They're for older children and quite delicate so TP & BP will have to wait. Seek his books out and be prepared for magic.

Friday, 22 January 2010

Toddler Groups

This week, I made a return visit to one of the toddler playgroups that I used to visit whilst I was a full time house dad. It was really nice seeing a few familiar faces and odd-yet-obvious to see that their babies are now walking and asserting themselves; the transition from baby to toddler is such a fascinating one and happens all too quickly.

Making the return visit reminded me of when I first took the reigns of being a full time house dad.

  • Feeding - I can handle it
  • Sleep deprivation - I'll get used to it
  • Reading stories - a good excuse to try out silly voices
  • Nappy changing - I can do it with my eyes closed (although not recommended)
It was going to playgroups that gave me the heebie jeebies, having to enter into the realm of mothers. Man alive, you might as well ask me to walk through the bra and knicker department of M&S. It's just not cricket.

Luckily for me, I was never treated as an interloper, just as A.N.Other parent. This was the case for all the groups I went to, and I think I went to them all.

This underlines one of my favourite facets of The Shire, in that it is a friendly little place. Recently, I spoke to a friend whose son lives in leafy St Margarets, near Richmond and is doing the house dad thing and going to playgroups, just as I did. He's been going for several months and the mums have absolutely nothing to do with him. We are not just talking clique city, we are talking castles with battlements and boiling hot oil teetering over the parapets. He doesn't have LOVE and HATE tattooed on his knuckles, nor does he stare at people in a Hannibal Lecter way. He's a regular guy who wants to be proactive in his son's upbringing. It's so very sad.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Non slip

Speaking to one of my trusted sources today, I learnt that you can avoid slipping whilst walking on ice; by pulling a sock over your shoe.

Sounds like a cheap and simple solution, but not one I'll try. The 'Fame! I wanna live forever' look isn't really me. Maybe train operators could wrap socks over train wheels to help ensure prompt time keeping.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

You can't find me

Being a busy person and having to travel across the village of London (AKA 'going up West'), every day, I've just downloaded and tried out the Directgov Travel News application for the iPhone.

The reviews of this app. are pretty damning but I thought that it's just people poo-pooing it just because it comes from the big machine that affects everything we think and do..... Simon Cowell. No, the other one. I meant the Government.

Great, commuting will be a breeze. I will know every traffic jam in the country or at least in Central London. The great machine I pay so much tax to is helping to streamline a part of my life. Brilliant.

Unfortunately, it seems the terrible reviews are well deserved. The first thing I do is to let the application find my location. Newcastle upon Tyne. Err no. Just a few miles away from Woolwich. Just a tad.

I don't understand how the Government can get it SO wrong. Tried and tested technology to locate me exists. Sat navs, google maps, tags around ankles of ne'er-do-wells.


Tuesday, 5 January 2010

The Royal Borough of Greenwich

I just read this.

Peter And The Wolf

Apple iTunes has been offering free music, games and stuff as part of its' Twelve Days of Christmas' promotion. Yesterday, it gave away the award winning short animation, Peter And The Wolf. Man alive, I thought Christmas had come early.

I downloaded and have just watched it. An absolutely brilliant adaptation of Prokofiev's musical drama which every child should be brought up with. If the animation isn't your cup of tea (as it's quite a dark version), then do listen to the music, introduce your children to different musical instruments of the orchestra and enjoy a short story at the same time.

Happy new year me dearios.