It's been such a long time since I've blogged, I almost forgot how to do it.
Quick one.
On my way down to Plumsteadshire International this morning, I passed a very cranky old bloke. Cranky, yes but he looked surprisingly similar to the Shatmeister Numero Uno, William Shatner.
There's many a time when a spy camera bow-tie pays dividends. I think Bill Shatner is a one off. You know when you walk the same walk at the same time every morning and evening and you see the same people on the same train and they desperately try to sit in the same seat (oh God, give me a razor blade. Fritz Lang got it just right in Metropolis), anyway I regularly see Woody Allen, but have never seen the Shatmeister though. Maybe he was just visiting his grand children, or just been released from Belmarsh?
All for the best......
Monday, 27 February 2006
Monday, 13 February 2006
Valentine's Day
Popping down to the shops at lunchtime, I just love seeing blokes in lands of the undiscovered.
Jewellers, florists, clothes shops specialising in underwear which simply won't keep a Winter chill away.
It has to be Valentine's Day. Of course it does.
It is hilarious seeing chaps shuffling from side to side whilst trying not to catch the assistant's eye.
Don't talk to me. I don't even want to be here. Just pay and go. Pay and go.
It's great seeing blokes buying jewellery. As long as it shines, it'll do. Assistant speaks of carats and purity and chappy's eye's glint away. That'll be the glint of a person staring into deep space whilst thinking 'what the f*** are you on about?'
The underwear section of M&S must be a great sight. You can just imagine it. Blokes taking ages to dare and cross the threshold off the aisle and into a sea of lycra and silk. Tunnel vision is a great thing in these circumstances. Act like a birs of prey, focus on one item, don't care what. Walk quickly in the straightest line to the kill, pull it off the hanger and make for the till. You've already clocked your escape route, so this requires no decision making. At the till, stare at the chip and pin reader and definitely make no eye contact with the assistant. Your mind is so focused on getting out of M&S that you can't even hear the sniggering of customers who can see you are SO out of place here.
Jewellers, florists, clothes shops specialising in underwear which simply won't keep a Winter chill away.
It has to be Valentine's Day. Of course it does.
It is hilarious seeing chaps shuffling from side to side whilst trying not to catch the assistant's eye.
Don't talk to me. I don't even want to be here. Just pay and go. Pay and go.
It's great seeing blokes buying jewellery. As long as it shines, it'll do. Assistant speaks of carats and purity and chappy's eye's glint away. That'll be the glint of a person staring into deep space whilst thinking 'what the f*** are you on about?'
The underwear section of M&S must be a great sight. You can just imagine it. Blokes taking ages to dare and cross the threshold off the aisle and into a sea of lycra and silk. Tunnel vision is a great thing in these circumstances. Act like a birs of prey, focus on one item, don't care what. Walk quickly in the straightest line to the kill, pull it off the hanger and make for the till. You've already clocked your escape route, so this requires no decision making. At the till, stare at the chip and pin reader and definitely make no eye contact with the assistant. Your mind is so focused on getting out of M&S that you can't even hear the sniggering of customers who can see you are SO out of place here.
Thursday, 9 February 2006
Religion. whatever.
It's interesting to see what's going on with the spats of those in favour of the cartoons and those who have been offended.
Freedom of speech. Yes, I'm for it. Isn't the incredible growth of blogs a testament to this? Ya'll know damn right it is.
On the other hand, I find it quite heartening that religious belief can be so strong that people are prepared to go to great great lengths to defend their belief. I don't get the idea that insulting an invisible 'God' and a religion can be more hurtful than insulting your own mother. I don't get it, I don't want it and I still believe that religion is the cause of a great majority of wars. But I love the idea that people have a belief and that those people aren't lead by having to have the latest 3G phone or wearing this season's D&G pants.
I'd like to know why some people can't see beyond the teachings of their bibles and apply the good bits of it to modern day living.
Freedom of speech. Yes, I'm for it. Isn't the incredible growth of blogs a testament to this? Ya'll know damn right it is.
On the other hand, I find it quite heartening that religious belief can be so strong that people are prepared to go to great great lengths to defend their belief. I don't get the idea that insulting an invisible 'God' and a religion can be more hurtful than insulting your own mother. I don't get it, I don't want it and I still believe that religion is the cause of a great majority of wars. But I love the idea that people have a belief and that those people aren't lead by having to have the latest 3G phone or wearing this season's D&G pants.
I'd like to know why some people can't see beyond the teachings of their bibles and apply the good bits of it to modern day living.
Tuesday, 7 February 2006
Plumstead rebranded
Soho has been the centre of creative industries for some years. The big brains of branding have had offices here, as have the film and animation industries. Soho is cool. The name itself is cool. How could we ever forget Soho as a film location in 'Expresso Bongo'? Soho was 'the most'.
Chatting to Matthew, my creative guru. We thought about rebranding certain parts of South East London, I mean there are quite alot of creatives living in the vicinty. So in order to put the South East on the map, we've taken a view on acronyms.
The parish of Forest Hill will be branded as NOBU. That's North of Beckenham. If there were a university in Beckenham, that would be spot on. Thinking about it, what courses would Beckenham Uni have to offer? A great and varied prospectus comes to mind, however that's another blog entry for sure.
Plumsteadshire doesn't seem to come out so well in the wash of branded villages. South of Woolwich doesn't cut it - SOWO. South East of Woolwich - SEWER. How about West of Welling - WEWE?
Never liked the world of branding anyway.
The parish of Forest Hill will be branded as NOBU. That's North of Beckenham. If there were a university in Beckenham, that would be spot on. Thinking about it, what courses would Beckenham Uni have to offer? A great and varied prospectus comes to mind, however that's another blog entry for sure.
Plumsteadshire doesn't seem to come out so well in the wash of branded villages. South of Woolwich doesn't cut it - SOWO. South East of Woolwich - SEWER. How about West of Welling - WEWE?
Never liked the world of branding anyway.
Friday, 3 February 2006
International Day of Anger
The Mayor of London presents many events in Trafalgar Square to celebrate the multi cultures of our great city, but even the 'International Day of Anger' is beyond our Ken.
I've not seen these cartoons, but from hearing about them on the wireless, I've no doubt they are fiercely offensive. But to declare an international day of anger? Most, if not everyone in the World must have experienced being deeply offended at some time in their life, but to go to these extremes? I tell you what, this story makes me angry.
For all the persecution the Jews have faced since the year dot, all the racist hardship immigrants have faced since the 1950s and beyond, the playground insults which push some children to suicide, the glass ceiling for women in the workplace, the thousands of jokes made about Christian religion, the billions of times people say 'Oh God' in a blasphemous way etcetera.
Inadvertantly, I have joined the day of anger, caused by The Day of Anger. If we can create energy this same perpetual way, our planet would have a rosier future.
I've not seen these cartoons, but from hearing about them on the wireless, I've no doubt they are fiercely offensive. But to declare an international day of anger? Most, if not everyone in the World must have experienced being deeply offended at some time in their life, but to go to these extremes? I tell you what, this story makes me angry.
For all the persecution the Jews have faced since the year dot, all the racist hardship immigrants have faced since the 1950s and beyond, the playground insults which push some children to suicide, the glass ceiling for women in the workplace, the thousands of jokes made about Christian religion, the billions of times people say 'Oh God' in a blasphemous way etcetera.
Inadvertantly, I have joined the day of anger, caused by The Day of Anger. If we can create energy this same perpetual way, our planet would have a rosier future.
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