Fat Terry Henry

I had to endure the rail system today. The one good thing about this is that I can play spot the look-a-like or spot the amazingly ugly person who's trying to mask their misfortune with a whacky hair do.

Both wholesome family games for everyone from 7 to 70. Available from all good chavvy conurbations.

Today's spot was a fat Thierry Henry at London Bridge Station, platform 6. If this fellow wasn't big boned, he may have a healthy career opening fetes and French car dealerships. Maybe he could come to Plumstead Common and shift a few ILLEGALLY SOLD CARS!!!!! There are enough here to warrant being called a dealership. Why is it so difficult to prosecute these greasy soap (and tax) dodgers?

Apple Birthday

Well, I did a spot of shopping at the Apple Store in Regent Street last night. Not a great fan of that store - too many tourists checking their hotmail and stopping genuine shoppers from test driving products.

I much prefer the Bluewater store, but then again, I much prefer shopping out there than the West End any day.

Whilst quizzing one of the shop assistant/Mac gurus, I just had to ask,
"Any new products coming out on Saturday?"
Mr Guru started laughing and tried to shake off the question like I'm a tabloid hack (maybe he knows me as Doctor Pangloss AKA Weegee de Plumsteadshire).
"There must be something happening on Saturday?"
This was met by more chuckles and he refused to look up from his till, just saying "I'm not sure what you mean."

Now, if this was Di*ons or PC W***d, I'd believe that they wouldn't have a clue (about anything).

"So no new products on Saturday?"
"No", more laughter
"OK. I'll take that as a yes."

So I just left it at that and wished him happy 30th birthday.

Apple 30th Birthday

This Saturday is Apple Computer's 30th birthday.

Yes, it'll be April Fool's Day and yes, PC users can come up with side-splittingly hilarious jibes to go with their penis envy, but we can handle it. We have done for all these years.

A 30th Anniversary will be a good time to release some swanky kit.

How about a video iPod which has an edge to edge touch-screen the full width of the unit? Wouldn't say no.

On the subject of iPods, Apple have released a download for iPod users so they can limit the volume on their players. This no doubt has come about as some users try to sue Apple for deafening them. So much for personal responsibility.

I don't understand this litigious culture. Remember those idiots who tried to sue McDonalds for forcing them to eat food? Remember those idiots who tried to sue tobacco companies for forcing them to smoke their guts out? Remember those idiot parents who blame teachers because their kids run riot?

Well, earth calling ASBO parents. Hello? Anyone home? You're reaping the rewards to your own doing.

If there's a campaign for common sense, then I'll sign up.

Adidas +10

Hey, I've just a really surreal evening.

I was brushing shoulders with Beckham, Gerrard, Cisse, Lampard, DeFoe, Dyer, Ashley Cole, Arjen Robben, Damien Duff, Wright-Phillips, Gary Neville and some others, oh and also Jonah Lomu, James Cracknell, Ben Cohen, Jonny Wilkinson, Vernon Kay, Trevor Nelson and some pop people who I don't know.

Impressive eh?

"How?" I hear you ask.

I've been working on a football event for Adidas called +10 Challenge and tonight was the event night. It's been filmed for E4 or T4 and will be going out on television!!!!

My back-stage pass was ACCESS ALL AREAS.

Good eh?

I wanted to give Becks a few pre-World Cup words of encouragement, like "play 4-3-3 scissors and switch to sweeper in the final ten minutes" or "don't mess up punk", but thought that people get paid big bucks for managing a team, so not to give away trade secrets too cheaply.

Being a person easily star-struck, I really wanted to get autographs and photos but thought that it might be a tad unprofessional as I was sort of there working. I'll probably kick myself tomorrow but at the time, I kept saying to myself, "it's only Beckham, he's only one of the best free-kick takers in the World. He's only the England captain. He's only mega rich and mega famous."

To be honest, I was more in awe of Jonah Lomu. I'm sure he looks alot bigger on tv when he played for the all blacks.

Get tough on crime

I'm sorry Plumsteadshire. I'm sickened and angry and have to get this off my chest.

How much longer will this spineless government allow the shit of society carry on doing what they do?

How many more will have to suffer and die before those in power realise that social inclusion and other OTT liberal bullshit experiments let the Leneghan murderers and their kind roam free?

Until our so-called laws are enforced and toughened, this is no free country for those of us who fear this scum.

The Plumstead Regeneration Society

A big belated thanks to Plum for this link. It's the Plumstead Regeneration Society and they are all about getting recognition, funding and forward planning for Plumstead. Well, I think that's the deal.
I will check them out properly soon, but please see for yourselves too.

Plumstead body

Here's an update to the previous dastardly carryings-on in Plumsteadshire. Being the county's very own Weegee, I am way ahead of the Newsshopper and The Mercury. Yes, if it's happening in Plumsteadshire and it's worth reporting, the Doktor is there, 24hrs a day scanning the news wires across the globe, listening to news reports on the crystal set and keeping in close contact with my overseas news agencies.

The aforementioned ghoulish news of course is the tragic BODY ON THE COMMON incident.

Not only do we see a tattoo, we now have a name.

Beer on tap

nice.

Apple Widgets

In answer to the anonymous poster, a Mac widget is a tiny little programme which runs within the Mac's Dashboard programme.

There are hundreds of widgets to download that cover anything from aviation weather to amino acid tables (I feel my life is complete with this). You'll wonder how you ever managed before without the Prezzi Benzina, to check the average price of Benzine in Italy. It's a marvel.

One of my most useful ones is Tubetrack, despite its' name, it doesn't just give you up to the minute times of London's wonderful underground system, it also covers UK national rail, DLR and Dublin DART and as well. I have mine set up for Plumstead train times, so I can see which train I'll miss because I'm messing about on the computer.

It's not all useful/useless information though, here's one if you're a sudoku addict, and a webcam of Halifax, no not the bank opposite Yates Wine Lodge in Lewisham, this is Halifax in Nova Scotia, Canada.

Dashboard rocks

NICE.

Mac Widget

Just downloaded a Blogger Dashboard widget for my Mac, so just giving it a go to see if it works alright.

Museums around Greenwich

At the weekend, in between reporting on the Mystery Man of Plumstead for Reuters, road testing a Segway and watching Capote in time to cast my vote for the Academy, I managed to have some R&R (whatever that means).

After ten years of living around these parts, I finally visited the Royal Observatory in Greenwich Park. It is a really good little museum. In fact, the museum layout is rather like a Tardis. There's alot more to see than you'd imagine.

I found the museum very well layed out, very educational and entertaining at the same time - edutainment. A bit like the amazing view across London from the top of the hill, the museum is a place that makes you feel very proud to live in Greenwich. The displays are catered towards children and it's a veritable audio visual feast. And it's free entry. You can't say fairer than that. So get out next weekend and pay a visit.

Also on my hit-list are:-
The National Maritime Museum
The Firepower Museum. Been before a year ago. Really like it, so must go again as I feel it needs support.
The William Morris Red House. Been over a year ago. Very exciting to see over the next few years what original decoration might be uncovered under the layers of white emulsion.
Eltham Palace. I like a bit of Art Deco and can't believe I haven't been yet.
The Crossness Engines. This serious piece of Victorian engineering is in Thamesmead!!!! And that's no crap.

Oh my days. All this on our own doorstep and skids of today moan about nuffink to do. USE YOUR IMAGINATION DUDES.

Two wheels good.

Sunday.

Went to lunch at our posh friend's house. Good food and good company make for a great mix. Add in good gadgets and we are now in the premier league.

Two wheels make getting from A to Z enjoyable and exhilarating. Yamaha YZF R1. Enough said.


Now how about this?

Part sholley, part 1950s vision of future travel, the Segway is a bizarre experience. Lean forwards to go forwards, lean back to reverse or stop. I found it very quick to pick up and difficult to put down. Being a biker, I naturally check over my shoulders before changing direction, but as this thing turns on its' own centrepoint, I barely needed to do my lifesavers.

Here's a good picture of that American prat, George Bush falling off a Segway.
Shamone Segway!!!!

If I rode one to work, I'd install the 'Ben Hur wheel conversion pack' and make my way through the rush hour crowds with ease.

NICE.

And especially for Steve, before you start ripping Marc's machine to bits, here's a bit of tech info to help you along.

DLR coming to Woolwich

So Woolwich is one step closer to the DLR tunneling, one step closer to Mankind.

There is a boring machine in place.
Well dear, I never expected it to be exciting did I?

Common Forensics

Well, the forensic scientists have been scouring the Common in their fetching one piece hoodys (so last year). I fear they'll find alot more to do with the dodgy drug dealers who park up there every evening rather than whatever happened to this person. I wonder if the two are related?

I walk across the Common every evening in the pitch darkness after work. Oddly, I don't feel put off, but maybe I should err on the side of caution.

If this is gang related, then I'm not bothered (bovvered), nor scared. If it's a couple of psycho's who just picked on a passer-by, then this can happen anywhere.

Well, rather than escape from London, I remind myself that at least we've got freedom of speech, a great social health system, respectful children, a democractically elected Mayor and Government who work for the good of the us tax payers.......... oh, none of the above.

Plumstead Common taped off

I noticed that Plumstead Common has been cordonned off by the police this morning. That would explain why I couldn't get any sleep last night, what with a police chopper hovering overhead. And there was I thinking they were filming another episode of 'Police, Camera, Action' for Men & Motors.

Can't be very serious on the Common though, as the police have erected a tent in the middle of it all. They must be enjoying tea & biscuits.

Plumstead Village

Let's show some love to Raffles. Thanks for the Ship pub weblink.

Referring to the link, I'd be amazed if we end up with a speciality fish restaurant, and I'd eat my hat if Plumstead Common has its' own French Restaurant. I know estate agents love to big up a property, but French Restaurant?????? That is a stretch of anyone's imagination. Go on HHP, call it 'a bijou French restaurant endorsed by Michel Roux in the leafy suburb of Plumstead Village'. Anyone can write copy for estate agents. I think I'd have a good time being an estate agent spin doctor.

Anyway, back to 'stretch of the imagination'. Remember that fishmongery which opened up for about 6 months? The shop that is now Crimson Rose florist? Well, I was so excited that a PROPER shop had come to Plumsteadshire, that I even went to make a purchase. Got to support your local shops. This, of course was a few years ago.

Picture it. It's Friday, so I thought I'd make myself a fish supper. Pop out to the local fishmonger and buy something that had only been swimming around the Cornish coastline early that morning. Nice and fresh. In the shop, not much on display, so assume the stock is in the chiller cabinet in the back of the shop. I ask the squire for some mackerel.
"Has to be ordered a week in advance".
I'm left slightly agog. I mean, I wasn't exactly asking for Chaunax Suttkusi or a Japanese shark's fin. Maybe I should've taken the hint when I saw the empty display chiller.

My point is this. Is Plumstead Village ready for gentrification? Does Plumstead Village want to become a Village? Or remain a Common?

I think it's absolutely ripe for the move. A nice outlook across the leafy open space. Nice houses around. Nice big woodlands only a short walk away, our own karate club. What more do you need? A good CAMRA pub would be really nice and a specialist fish restaurant. Call me old fashioned, but I am glad that bizarre African hairdresser/minimarket combo has gone. I'm all for multiracial integration, but I also like a shop to look neat too. A hairdresser which also sells huge bags of rice and luminous pink plastic buckets displayed on the pavement just didn't do it for me. I'm not quite so offended by the shop on the corner which looks like a storage space for bathrooms and sinks. It's clearly not a showroom, but clearly a wasted opportunity.

I'm sure the council have grants for shopfronts, but Plumsteadshire is probably low down in the food chain and such grants will only filter as far as Blackheath.