Friday, 28 March 2008

New Brand Identity

My research and development team and marketing strategists having been working through the night on statistics, qualitative data and time and motion studies about our LOVELY LISTENERS. This has lead to a £15 million pound rebranding exercise of Plumsteadshire.

It has been noted that Plumstead Common and its' environs, are the most crime ridden, dangerous and down-right bilious of places to live. Murderers leap out of sewers at every street corner and shops are looted so often that the Brixton Riots seem like a typical Sunday afternoon in Frinton on Sea. This is according to one or maybe two 'anonymous' contributor(s).

So, to fulfill equalities requirements and serve these minorities, I have to trial a new tagline for Plumsteadshire. Changing from 'It's All For The Best In This Best Of All Possible Worlds' to 'It's All Crap'. Fortunately, I won't need to redesign the logo to look like a horrible Tiswas rip-off.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like you are ignoring the obvious chappy!

Plumstead IS an extremely violent place. You yourself blogged recently that you almost shat yourself; when confronted by some guys at the links, as you entered your car!


Kids are getting murdered on our streets and you think its funny to take the piss?

Sad - really sad.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, why do you bother reading this blog? All you do is moan about how rubbish Plumstead is.

I've lived here for 17years and haven't seen the doom and gloom that you do. If life is so bad for you why don't you do us all a favour and move? There are sh*t people around, but as Dr P. says, they are everywhere. That's life in 2008.

Doctor, why don't you just ban this prat and keep us entertained?

Anonymous said...

"I've lived here for 17years and haven't seen the doom and gloom that you do."


OR perhaps...

or maybe...

Sadly, I could go on. This is not 'just the way it is in 2008'. It's the way it is in Plumstead - in 2008.

What I find amazing is that you actually believe this is 'normal' and acceptable. It's neither.

Anonymous said...

i think you should look for similar news stories in other parts of London, of equal economic level (mainly working class, with various house estates, etc). You'll find the same. This is London 2008, not just Plumstead. Let's be rational people!

Anonymous said...

"Everything is not sh*t, it is just you"

Please change is back to:
'It's All For The Best In This Best Of All Possible Worlds'

That's why most of us come here Dr Pangloss. The others can go elsewhere (Greenwich Watch!?) if they want to be miserable.

Anonymous said...

by the way, for a bit of a positive... the new rubbish collection is gradually (slooowly) improving. At leave and the various street I walk around the common. Still some way to go, but at least there is less rubbish strewn around the place.

Jen said...

I'm all for freedom of speech but please do delete any more posts from the miserable Anonymous man who doesn't seem to be aware of the rest of London's/the UK's crime problems.

He's bringing us all down with his hyperbolic whinging.

And please change the sub-header back to the original asap. Keep up the good work. Plumstead needs you.

Doctor Pangloss said...

To the most negative anonymous contributor (let's just call you Victor Meldrew from now on).


Plumstead has its' rotten element but it is NOT an extremely violent place. You may have been mugged every other week, shot at, or been broken into umpteen times, but I don't know.

What I do know is that you act like a nasty little child, running up to a shop and throwing fireworks in then running off again. You keep insisting Plumstead is a toilet and general hell hole.

So what is the point you're making?

Rather than running in and insisting that we're all doomed and telling everyone that they're wrong, why not put some meat on the bones and put together a cogent discussion?

I don't believe in censoring what people want to say and I'm not at all afraid to hear the unseemly side of our neighbourhood.

You think Plumstead is like Mad Max, but what are you doing about it? I've asked you before and apart from insulting people (including me), who have a positive outlook, you didn't come up with any suggestions.

For your information, I don't think it's funny to take the p*ss out of murders, but I am certainly taking the p*ss out of YOU and your acutely warped view of our area.

Let's have some solutions Victor.

nick day said...

Yes of course there are real and unacceptable problems in Plumstead, but all of us except Victor seem to accept these are problems affecting almost everyone everywhere, particularly in average low income urban areas. Many of us here are grateful we can live amongst really pleasant, friendly and positive neighbours close to lovely green spaces for an absolute fraction of the price people might pay in Clapham and Wandsworth (where frankly I would not feel so safe!). I do wish Victor would stop being so negative and get engaged in some positive action. Come down to the Slade Ponds one Sunday and see how beautiful it is. Come and plant some wild flowesr with us on April 6th or paint the railings on April 13th. I suggest we and Dr Pangloss rise no more to these depressed and depressing taunts.

Doctor Pangloss said...


I absolutely agree. Until Victor starts putting meat on the bones of his absurd rants, I'll have to adopt this phrase from educationalists - 'Ignore bad behaviour'.