3 days to go

Not long now and just for good luck, here's a picture of a completely OTT house. Thankfully, this is in America, so it's not bringing down half of our National Grid. However, I'm sure certain members of Wellingshire are contributing in their own way.

I've been working at a right 'sweat shop' of a company recently so I am wound right up. The Christmas break should provide for a few days of relief, but you never know. I mean, Christmas is actually meant to be pretty stressful in itself. Important decisions have to be made as to whether you should watch the annual token showing of opera or a rerun of a Bond film? Or tape the opera and watch Live And Let Die on the other side. But having taped Die Zauberflote, will you ever watch it? Probably not.

Well, Christmas aside, I'm most pleased that today/yesterday is/was Winter Solstice. So days are going to start getting longer again. Woopee. I've managed another year without S.A.D. kicking in.

Praise good behaviour

Praise good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour. That's what they say about bringing up children. The same could be applied to shops, but I'd prefer to name and shame. Well why beat around the bush.
Luckily for me, I don't own a pet, so that means I have no reason whatsoever to visit Pets & The City in Greenwich. Stand out in the cold? You are having a bubble.
Anyway. I'll now travel to the opposite end of the spectrum and give praise.
Hallelujah!!
I had to get my bike helmet fixed and discovered that Aye Gee of Wellingshire have a Shoei doctor on the premises. The good doctor fixed my helmet, gave it a check over and it's as good as new. It only cost a few pounds and that's a true bargain for something that can save my life.
Remember kids. Always wear a lid.
Well, the staff at Aye Gee were very pleasant and not at all condescending. I can find bike shops a little daunting at times; it's a fear of being drawn in to a conversation about carbs or rebound adjustment.
Yeh whatever.
I want the thing to go when I twist and stop when I pull.
End of.

10 days to go

Shopping part deux

Thanks to Kat for mentioning Hawkin's Bazaar (no, not the heavy metal band). I've been aware of this company for a few years. They sell a veritable feast of toys from yesteryear and I thought they were mail order only but no, they have a ye olde shoppe in Lakeside. Since the opening of Bluewater, I've been to Lakeside twice. Well if ever there were a reason to return, this must be it. I've just looked at their site and it looks like they've gone modern. I'm sure they used to specialise in things like tin toys and simple puzzles.








Here's one. It's the catch-a-ball-in-the-cup game. Watch your little Charlie play with it for hours on Christmas Day.
"Oh daddy, do switch the dreary X-Box 360 off and help me master this game of wooden historical importance."
See. Hours of fun for everyone from 8 to 80.

Seriously though, wouldn't it be good to simplify life? It'll never happen, that Pandora's box has been opened. Well, except for those who appear in Channel 4 programmes about leaving their jobs in the City to live the Good Life, in Plumsteadshire of course.

Greenwich shopping

I like Greenwich.

Today, we went to the centre of the universe with Marc and Rachel, our posh friends; I never knew baby clothes were such a big deal here. I saw 2 stalls and a whole shop dedicated to baby clothes. I couldn't believe it. Now I know this great country has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the whole of Europe and the boom in baby attire is testament to this, but honestly, do we really need so many bibs in such a small shopping area?

Moving up the age range, I've noticed that we have an old fashioned sweet shop in da hood. I think it's new as I've not seen it before. A bit of the famous Hope & Greenwood treatment for us. It was great asking for a quarter of Lemon Bon Bons, a phrase I've not used for 25 years. However, I think I paid about 35p back then.

Inflation is a pain in the butt.

One shop which I will never visit again is a certain pet shop - no names mentioned. The four of us were about to walk in when a shop assistant told us to wait outside. It's not a small shop and there must've been about 6 people inside, no more. There was plenty of room (to swing a cat), and we had to stand on the pavement. I'm no retail guru, but treating potential customers like this is not good business strategy. By the way, it's called Pets & The City.

Shrewsbury Park

The good people of Shrewsbury Park might not like it but the new sign next to Plumcroft School works quite well I think.
Well, Plumsteadshire is turning into the new Pinewood so we've got to get this place on the map.

Twin town (part deux)

Yes, film crews have been flocking to Woolwich. Well, the Slade library was taken over for a few days earlier in the year and Woolwich Town Centre was used last weekend.
But you know what they say. 'Tall oaks from little acorns grow'.
So in this vein, here's my first Plumsteadshire twin town nomination.
HOLLYWOOD
In fact, I feel a bit of simple 3D modelling and Photoshop coming on. Maybe PLUMSTEADSHIRE lettering on the slopes of Shrewsbury Park. I'll do something over the weekend.
Nice.

The Coronet Cinema

I just had a look at some photos on The Plumstead Commoner's blog and saw a photo of the old Coronet Cinema (down by the Woolwich Ferry roundabout, where cars park at fantastically dangerous places on a Sunday and open their doors just when you pass by on a motorbike. Religion and common sense don't neccessarily go together).
I'm not originally from around these parts so I've never known the building as a working cinema, which is a great shame. I've been told it was a beauty in its' time though. Egyptian Deco I think.
Nice.
Well I shudder to think what the New Wine Church has done to the interior. If the building is as spectacular as I've heard, then I just hope the whole thing's been listed. When I said there are some tasty buildings in much-maligned Woolwich, I wasn't kidding.

The new Japanese knot weed

You horticultural types think you've got a problem with Japanese knot weed.
You can't weed it out.
Your systemic injections don't have any effect.
Flame thrower? Watch the fence mum.
You just can't kill it.
Not even with Cillit Bang!
















Well, those illegally sold cars are the new scourge.
Bang! And the dirt is gone.
If only.

The future of Woolwich

You may mock, but I can imagine Pizza Express in Woolwich, maybe in the Arsenal development. I do think that Woolwich has many prospects. The DLR did alot for the Lewisham housing market and that 'new money' brings alot of new energy with it as well as a new dynamic to the whole community.

Woolwich has a good down-to-earth scale about it. There's a centre to it. The square where the winos hang out. The fountain with the most unnatural looking green tint to the water, but it's a green space and it's the heart to the town centre. Where's the centre to Lewisham? We've already got a good start.

I hate pedestrianised High Streets as they are usually deserted outside of shopping hours. Admittedly, I don't frequent Woolwich on a night, but there are a couple of town centre buildings being refurbished into dwellings. This is a great thing. By the very fact of people living in the centre, the pedestrianised road is actually used, not just by shoppers in the day but by residents in the evening.

Whether the burghers of Woolwich can lure the multinationals to open stores in Woolwich is one thing. Whether Woolwich should turn into another faceless shopping precinct with the same old shops is another. I read that Tesco might come to Woolwich. On one hand, that's great, but on the other, we've already got Sainsbury. Having a huge Tesco will inevitably mean a large car park somewhere.

I like Woolwich because it's of a human scale. Taking a train to and from Woolwich Arsenal is so simple and lands you in the centre of the town. Lewisham is too imposing. The train station is cut-off from the shops, the Lewisham Centre building is hulking and superbly ugly, the only sense of human scale and personality is the Italianate church. I hope the proposed redevelopment will address this.

Most people will never look at the buildings in places like Woolwich. They get in and get out. Don't blame them, but we've got some tasty architecture here. I feel a bit of photography coming on to prove it.

Now, back to Pizza Express. Plumstead Common is a prime area for some tasty nosh. Get a map and look at the commons around London. The majority of them have either been posh since dinosaurs dined there or they've been gentrified already. As sure as day follows night, it will happen to Plumsteadshire.

Bike Repairs

Bike repairs. Well I always go to Garozzo in Blackfen; they've never let me down. However, I'm no grease monkey. Still, they are always nice and helpful.
Logistically, Garozzo is great because I leave the bike with them and can take the 51 bus straight back to dear old Plumsteadshire. I haven't got a clue whether they are cheap or not though. Also, Garozzo are Yamaha & Piaggio dealers.

I feel a modern day parable coming on.

Once, I had a flat tyre. I got the bike to Aye Gee in Welling and a chap there was super helpful, he was full of advice and knowledge and willing to share. Anyway, they couldn't do anything for me at Aye Gee, but proceeded to load my bike onto a vehicule transporting lorry and took me to Watling Tyres in Catford. Dear old Mr Aye Gee could've left me stranded, but instead demonstrated that people can still be kind and why (in Plumsteadshire), things are all for the best in this best of all possible worlds. A bit like that Samaritan bloke in the Bible.

Plumsteadshire replies

Man alive. I've had a sudden deluge of comments from readers of Plumsteadshire - It's all for the best in this best of all possible worlds etc etc....

As I'm not up to speed with blog commenting protocol, I'm going to post my comments here rather than try to find the relevant post and comment there. Hopefully that way, it's easy for readers to follow up on their original questions.

• Yes, I'd noticed the new/old cinema in Greewich Village. I've had a drink there and very much like the programme of independant and foreign films. I think that'll be the cinema for the more discerning movie goer. I'll have to say that I was initially put off by the price but now that Filmflops has raised its' price, there's little to persuade me to stay with the gasometer.

1. Being a modern day Londoner, I like a rant. So here I go about Flipflops. Chavvy kids running around outside Nandos-I-Ain't-Never-Heard-Of-Bird-Flu-A-Go-Go pulling off all the bollard covers and trying to hit each other; innocent film goers being caught up in the crossfire. My advice to the kids is to use the metal bollards themselves. Straight across the back of the neck. A few less soap dodgers is not a bad thing.
2. Now, what is it about the row of nice glass doors? I've never got to grips with having all these doors but only unlocking 2 pairs? It's a bit like a supermarket, or B&Q. Why have 18 tills if you only ever have 8 open at any one time? Especially when queues are forming. On a Sunday afternoon.
3. And Co Op. Now don't get me started on the wonderful queue management philosophy adopted by Co Op.
4. Back to Filmworks. I felt really pleased with myself when I used Orange Wednesdays for the first time ever. I'd saved £7 to (unknowingly) put myself through the most God aweful film since Ishtar. Save yourself. DO NOT SEE THE BROTHERS GRIMM. Anyway, having bought tickets, I bought 2 cups of tea and a sandwich. Bad mistake and we all know it. The price of refreshments in these places is extortion almost beyond the proportions of Halloween Night. How do I manage not to learn? Sneak my own refreshments in. If I have to drink Pepsi or Coke, I don't really need a bucket of the stuff.

• I could go on but won't. Well, I'll be interested to see if the planned cinema for Woolwich Royal Arsenal goes ahead.

Christmas turkey

I've had my first piece of turkey this evening. Can't say it was particularly appealing though. In fact, it has left a sour taste in my mouth.
Went to Filmworks to see The Brothers Grimm. If ever there were a film that lived up to its' title then this is it. Ten minutes in and I should've walked out. Complete lack of direction and an exercise in why you shouldn't cram as many regional accents in one film. Even the special effects weren't up to scratch. Oh, the list goes on. What a waste of 2 hours.
Bernard Matthews come back.
Mr Gilliam. Get yer coat.

On the other hand, Harry Potter is everything I hoped for. Now this was a masterclass of film making. Story, script, acting, design, fx, sound, the lot. If I can dodge past the scuzzy oiks tearing up the Filmworks forecourt and the endless queue outside B&Q (queueing for Nandos), then I'll have to see the Pottmeister again. Bring it on.

(almost) nice view of Plumsteadshire

I thought I was hardened to the cold.
Mais non.
The fantastic chill in the morning is too much to handle. I am a wimp.
It's times like this when I realise whoever/whatever invented hibernation had incredible foresight. Unfortunately, not quite enough foresight to foresee the inflexibility of the working week.

work slave : Sir, may I have three months off around the Winter Celebration period?
line manager : [silence]
work slave : [exit stage left, whilst thinking 'whatever']

The plus side of this chilly atmosphere and I'm not referring to The Addicks' opinion on Manchester Utd, is that Plumstead Common looks absolutely beezer. Crisp low morning sunlight, perfect for dazzling drivers right in the minces as they head towards Welling. The Common has a gentle dusting of frost, apart from where the dodgy cars hang out in no man's land. I almost feel compelled to take a dolly mixture tomorrow.
With this cold snap, I couldn't Adam n Eve it. Macoma Road had been gritted. Stone the crows, the council have done something. Not only that, but they'd stickered the illegally sold cars along Plumstead Common Road too. Hoo bloody ray. But no sooner have the rolling death traps been stickered, the dodgy pikeys have crawled out of the gutters and swapped them with other cars. This is the recurring pattern. As sure as day follows night, the pikeys swap cars as soon as they sniff out the council car stickerer. Get with the programme Greenwich, some of us actually pay your council tax. Why not do something for us? These dodgy pikey cars and the dodgy pikey dealers wouldn't know what tax is if it hit them in the face.

The answer's simple. Zero tolerance. Forget stickers. Pick the things up, take them to a breaker's yard and squash the damn things down to a cube of scrap metal.

Job done.

Dragon's Den

No, nothing to do with mother-in-laws. I mean, I wouldn't allow such down-right degrading filthy comments to be made in Plumsteadshire.
Never.
I'm talking about my favourite tv programme, Dragon's Den which is back on our screens. Dare I say it, but even the England game on Saturday didn't have as much drama as watching the entrepreneurs being eaten alive by the dragons. How can this geeky programme be edge-of-the-seat watchable? How can it be so captivating when it's not even live?
Dunno. It just is.

Evan Davis is a geek god. Maybe a demi-god because the king of geek chic can only be our bushman, Ray Mears.
Thinking about it, it's odd that two of my favourite programmes live in such diametric worlds from one another.
I love the whackier Heath Robinson inventions on the show. The roller skates for knees was an interesting idea. Pass me the strait-jacket. Maybe Ken Livingstone can implement these into the TFL 10 year plan.

Nice bike

Wowzer.
Now this is a thing of beauty. The Yamaha R1 SP. You can keep your MV Agustas and the other fancy Euro pop pops, I'll have one of these. Trouble is though it probably won't last ten minutes parked on the road in London.
Dream on.

Argie Bargie

I'm no football fan i.e. support a club, but I do like to watch a good game. England v Argentina was a must-see by any standards. Now, I don't want to sound like a football pundit, but at the end of the day, it's a game of two halves and the boys did good.
Due to matters beyond my control, I had to miss the second half and it was only after the game, me ol' mate Arun phoned me and filled me in on all the details that I'd missed. Now, this is what puzzles me. If I can easily avoid the whole football season and not give two hoots about the beautiful game, why is it that I am STILL so gutted about missing half of this game? Also, if I don't care about league football, why is it that I have a strong dislike of Man Utd and Chelsea?

Argie Bhaji

Get your hair cut!!!!

Firefox

I'm not one for standing still whilst the World passes me by. If I wanted this, I'd stand in a queue in Co Op. So onwards and upwards, which is why I have to recommend the Firefox browser. Internet Explorer has had a history of crashing and Safari is not so goody.
It works and it's not Microsoft.

Bush

I know it's an old photo but how could I resist?