Thursday, 27 December 2007

Crop circles

Over the festive period, the Common has been visited by the Plumstead Regional Arts Team (you can work the acronym out for yourselves). Their latest installation is a crop circle inspired piece entitled 'scumbag #1'. Merry Christmas!

Monday, 24 December 2007

Bad news

A couple of lovely listeners have alerted me to a shooting incident around the Common a couple of weeks ago.

I knew nothing about this. Strolling around The Shire, I saw this discreet notice. I presume the gun shots came from the area around the St something and someone church.

I hate to say this, but this kind of sums up my view of this year. News reports every other week about another youngster stabbed, another gun related incident. Tabloid journalism ruling the airwaves? Bad news sells?

Sigh. There's no way I'm going to end 2007 on a bum note. The fog on the Common looked absolutely gorgeous and I was desperate to photograph it and post up a lovely pic of our lovely green space, but I couldn't find my camera in time.

Have a lovely Christmas me dearios.

Thursday, 13 December 2007


Was out for a stroll around The Shire this week and noticed that a couple of retail properties are being readied for the good folk o' Plumsteadshire.

1) The old video shop and teen hang-out at The Slade. I think the last speculation was that this is going to become a bookmakers. Thank the Lord God this is not the case. I loathe these cheap gambling dens almost as much as I hate seeing men wearing enormous spectacles (see Timmy Mallett). Speaking of which, I do believe this shop will be opening as an opticians. I don't know what it will be called, but I always thought 'For Eyes' is a funny and clever name.

2) The most under-rated plasterboard storage unit. The shop on the corner of Admaston Road has been home to baths, sinks and sheets and sheets of Gyproc for as long as I can remember. What an under-used shop. This could easily be turned into my jazz café. Picture it. Coffees, home made cakes, newspapers, cribbage and Sonny Rollins Sundays. I digress.
Speculation has been that this shop will become (yet another), estate agent.....and there was I believing that there's a down-turn in the housing market.

3) Next door to the Gyproc store is/was Abalone. I never understood why a printing shop would be named Abalone. Was the owner called Mr Abalone? Well, I don't know if this is anything to do with Gyproc or if it's going to become another estate agent. How about if it kept its' name and turned into a fish restaurant? Nothing really fancy like Loch Fyne, but something slightly fancy like Olleys in Hernia Hill.

Friday, 23 November 2007

Load of old rubbish

Over the past week or so, I've noticed a skip in the middle of Old Mill Road on Plumstead Common. I don't know who put it there, but it's unsightly and a haven for rats et al.

Today, the skip has gone but the rubbish remains. How nice is that? Was the skip a not very secret hiding place for the drug dealers to stash their wares? Was the skip removal some kind of magic trick? Kind of like the way you tug a table cloth really quickly and the plates, salt & pepper pots and other dining paraphernalia stay in place.

A quick phone call to Cleansweep is in order.

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

15 million details - LOST

So there's a computer disc lost out in the big bad world with millions upon millions of our important personal details.

Total imbeciles or just a simple mistake? Whatever it is, I'm seething. I'm the incredible hulk on steroids, I'm so fired up, I'll put Tyson down in one blow.

This is information security at a pretty low level.

Here's something to bring my blood pressure back down below 600.

Pop quiz.

The disc in question is password protected. What could this password be?


I welcome suggestions from lovely listeners.

Saturday, 17 November 2007

petition to stop the pikeys

I'm never sure what these online petitions achieve, but you've got to be in it to win it, or something like that.

This petition is out to rid the Common of the dirty scumbags who sell dodgy cars. What's so wrong with a sledgehammer anyway?

Nice painting

One of my favourite pieces of art in the Shire is this early work from an anonymous student of Oskar Kokoschka. One can tell from the sombre style that our own local artist spent many dog days in the Dresden Kunst Academy.

Poor fellow.

The distant figure with his head buried in the ground symbolises the despair and total angst suffered by local folk whilst queuing for bread and water at the Co-Op.

The artist has cleverly framed this little known masterpiece of social commentary by working with Piet Mondrian. As can be seen in this photograph, the Mondrian style is alive and kicking (no pun intended), at the martial arts club in Plumsteadshire.

Friday, 9 November 2007

dodgy geezers

I need a clock for my car, so off I trot to Halfords in Charlton.

The Halfords welcoming committee were already waiting in the car park, greeting customers with their phrase, "Never knowingly undersold."

Oh no, that's not it.

"Don't sign on the dotted line until you talk to Tempo."

That's not it.....

Oh yes, "Wanna buy a laptop?" As welcoming committees go, they're pretty lax and I find it rather disrespectful to stay in their car and grunt through the window. I tried to reach for my cameraphone and snap a photo of them for my diary (and the local constabulary), but they drove off very quickly. Well, I'd expect they've got to meet and greet as many customers as they can.

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

really nice signage

I sent Weegee, my chief photographer down to the Slade to capture the gorgeous signage above the butcher shop facade. Well here it is - in color.

Makes you feel proud doesn't it?

I've also taken a photo of an abomination of a shop sign. It's the seeping kebab image.

Actually, this one is pretty tame in comparison to the one I originally saw; you get the message though.

Yum yum. Well, lovely listeners, you can be rest assured that it doesn't belong to any take away in The Shire.

modern manners

Modern manners. Is this an oxymoron?

Well, that's a rant for another day. For the moment, I'd like to know one thing.

I'm going to an engagement party and have never been to one before. Should I take a present to this party? It's an informal do.

many thanks,
Doctor Pangloss

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

The Police

Sunday night was a great night. I've waited 21 years for this and was not disappointed; I went to The Police concert at Twickenham.

I expected to see a bunch of tired old coppers, but no way. Sting, Stewart & Andy were full of beans. Sting, well you expect him to look as he did back in the '80s. Apart from the glasses, Stewart is as energetic a drummer as ever and Andy now sports a generous turkey neck.

Being a young fogey, I just wanted to hear old familiar tunes and that's what I got. Nice. I knew there was no new material, so that was a safe bet.

Actually, we had a great surprise bonus we we arrived at the stadium. I'd bought £45 seats up in the gods and the ticket chap said that as we were early, we had the option of upgrading. Of course, I had my suspicions even though he looked official and working within the premises. We took the plunge and by golly we were given £70 tickets in the lower tier. No fear of nose bleeds now.

Of course, I really wanted to take my camera, but didn't want to go through the indignity of having my memory card erased (35mm is so last century). Well, I found photos on the interweb, so I can pretend I took them.

The journey home was a mission. It took over an hour just to get to Twickenham train station. I'll cut to the chase and tell you lovely listeners that it took 3½ hours to get home. There weren't even any deviations to pubs, mad cow burger bars or kebab shops with ugly signs. It was meant to be a simple journey home on public transport. Somehow, even this couldn't ruin my night out.

Thursday, 6 September 2007

OAPs on stage

Have you ever waited most of your life for something to happen?

Please, no facetious answers ie

1) Waiting to pay at the Co Op
2) Waiting for a 53 bus when it's raining
3) Waiting for Godot
4) Waiting for a human being to answer when dialling an 0870 number (BTW this is a con trick - ed.)
5) Waiting for Greenwich Council to spend some cash on the betterment of Plumstead Common
6) Waiting for Greenwich Council to spend some cash on the betterment of Plumstead Common
7) Waiting for Greenwich Council to spend some cash on the betterment of Plumstead Common

etcetera etcetera. You get the message.

On Sunday, I'm going to see The Police in concert at Twickenham. On the whole, I don't like popular music, but was a big fan of The Police. I haven't got a clue what it'll be like now; can't imagine they'll be leaping around the whole time, or maybe if they do they'll sit down every 5 minutes and have a sip of Ovaltine.

Travelling to Twickenham seems straightforward enough, but if any lovely listeners have any top tips on the journey/venue, I'm all ears. Things like :-

1) Do I take the front train carriage at Waterloo in case it'll be mayhem at Twickenham station?
2) Do I leave 10 minutes before the concert ends because it'll be mayhem at Twickenham station?
3) Never buy a drink at the venue because it's really expensive?

Or is this venue really well organised, so I have nothing to fear?

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

new iPod

I've taken my eye off the tech ball lately, so imagine my surprise when I find out that the latest Apple keynote speech announced new iPods. Not just any old iPod, but touchscreen iPods. This has been speculated about for years and for some reason, I thought the iPhone was it.

I guess a touchscreen device is no great shakes nowadays, but even so, it's none too shabby.

Monday, 27 August 2007

jungle drums

Over the past couple of mornings, I've woken up to the sounds of jungle drums or some sort of repetitive beat. It sounds very distant, coming from Plumstead Manor School/Plumstead High Street direction.

First of all, I thought these were noises inside my head, a bit like writing a blog (talking but no-one listening, hearing drums but no-one playing. You get where I'm coming from?).

Anyway, I'm convinced there are distant drums noises, but why on earth at 5am? Is it an illegal rave happening in Plumstead Manor? Is it the long lost tribe of Temmesmead Marshes making communication with civilisation?

Saturday, 4 August 2007

useless knowledge

Whilst being stuck on the M25 today, I stared into deep space and thought, 'I wonder how I can roll up a frying pan?'

Well now I know.

Local stuff

All quiet in da hood. Even pikey car sellers have been quiet. It must be those posters nailed to the trees. A bit of information to tell the greasy tax dodgers what's what; they don't like it up 'em. Having said that, a couple of dodgy cars have turned up, but still nothing like before. Pity really as I was going to buy a sledgehammer in the Ablair summer blue cross sale.

I thought I'd give two mentions to local businesses.

1) The butcher at the Slade. I absolutely love their new shop signage. I don't know how long it's been changed, but it is stunning. Sign-writing is a dying art, taken over by horrible printed vinyl signage, the absolutely worst offenders being kebab shops. The name of the shop is a must, but why oh why do we need a background image of a seeping roll of steaming lamb? I think I saw this abomination along Green Lanes.

So when I get some spare time, I'll pop down to the monastery and get the chaps to knock up a scroll/certificate and present it to the butcher shop for services to the enhancement of Plumsteadshire.

2) I'll not be presenting one of those scrolls to The Ship or SJ's Lounge.

I'm sorry, but SJ's Lounge just says 'porno shop' to me. It's great that they've made the effort, but man alive, I really did think a sex shop had opened in the village. At least we can be grateful that SJ hadn't opted for the printed vinyl 'seeping lamb' shop sign.

As for The Ship, I still cannot bring myself to go in. The whole place just gives off an odour of naffness. The appalling signage, the total disregard for the architectural exterior, the characterless interior. The Peter Stringfellow school of thinking, but done really badly.

I'll have to photograph the butcher shop and post it here, just to make myself feel better.

Thursday, 26 July 2007

The beach

Popped down to the Millenium Dome today [I just can't call it by its' new name; that's just too much free advertising].

By the way, did I mention that Apple make the gorgeous iPhone? Yes, Apple. The iPhone is this year's Christmas gadget must-have. It's not cheap, but it'll be non too shabby neither. And one more thing, it runs OS X. Available from all good...... actually, I don't know where to get it, but what the hey?

I digress.

Dome. That's right. I wanted to see the developments at this venue and also to see the Beach. It's to bring sea-side fun to Londoners who can't afford Margate - now that is really saying something. Given that the Dome has just opened, I expected something fairly spectacular, to give us a wow factor, just to shake off the Dome's bad history. I expected a glistening beach with a wave machine creating a bit of a sea - you can't build much of a sand castle with dry sand. I expected heat and fake sunlight and even a backdrop of a blue sky.


We've got a huge pile of play sand with a couple of fake palm trees. The theming goes as far as a few shark's fins and a raft made from an old wooden pallette. Every expense was spared. It's a dire effort and hugely disappointing. I don't know if this is our version of the Paris Plage?

If you want to take your children for a half day out, join a queue at the Co Op, it's more fun.

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

last minute request

Listening to the Robert Elms Show on BBC Radio London. 94.9fm.

A listener is wanting to know about a sculpture in the playground of Plumstead Manor School. If anyone does know (in the next hour), then ring or email the show.

020 7224 2000

I did say it's a last minute request.

Monday, 23 July 2007

Cold custard

I was obviously very focused on work today; it suddenly struck me that I've not eaten a custard tart for a few months. I'd not gone through 'cold custard', or even had a hankering.

My last indulgence was finishing off a Marks and Spencer ECT (Egg Custard Tart to the uninitiated). This M&S brand of ECT was recommended by one lovely listener and it certainly delivered, but I do think the pastry chefs at M&S HQ were trying too hard. I found it was a little too flamboyant for my likings.

The Sainsbury's ECT still wins head and shoulders above the rest. The Waitrose offer was just way off the mark with a kind of wholemeal pastry. I mean, what's all that about? Showboating is just not de rigeur when it comes to such culinary basics.

Friday, 20 July 2007

Beyond our Ken

I came across this news story concerning Lord Levy today. I'm sure it's of great national importance, but I'm not interested. However, what caught my attention was how much LL looked like Kenneth Williams.

Did LL ever utter the phrase "'ere, stop messing about?"

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Asian Mela

I popped over to the Asian Mela this afternoon. It was a gross disappointment of the highest order. I guess this must be due to the nasty weather.

However, something did catch my eye; it was the only stall/attraction where anyone had bothered to stop at.

It was a spectacle so bad that my toes were curling. You can't even say that it was so bad, it was good. No sirree. It was so bad, it was abysmal.

It was the wrestling. I apologise for not knowing what Asian Mela is or what it celebrates, but I don't actually understand the link between phony play fighting and an Asian cultural event. Maybe wrestling is an age old metaphor for good versus evil and a display of religious enlightenment. Or is it just that the organisers were desperate to fill a plot in the middle of the Common?

Either way, it was like driving past a car crash. You really shouldn't look because it's so terrible, but you just can't help it. [I've always loved the term car crash television. It's completely accurate].

I'm sure wrestling is completely staged and has that kitsch quality about it, but it's kind of fun in a violent and Neanderthal way. I cringed at the way the wrestlers were thrown across the ring. Instead of bouncing off the ropes and hurtling back with a double salko ending with a pile drive, they teetered across the ring like they were in stilletos, threw themselves against the ropes and danced back to belly flop the enemy.

I wandered off in disbelief and pretended to be interested in Saris and sweetmeats. I walked in a complete circle and had the misfortune to pass by the wrestling event again. This time, I saw a man in the ring holding up a horse brass. Silly me, it was a wrestling champion holding aloft a belt with gold plastic panels stuck on. He lacked menace. Then sure as day follows night, a girl from the audience berates him. We are lead to believe she's an ordinary punter, until she removes all her clothes (not quite, but caught your attention), and gives him a real pasting. Acting classes dear? This bunch sure as hell haven't been to RADA.

Illegal cars

I've been here before. The illegally sold cars on Plumstead Common are back in vast quantities. If Greenwich council weren't patting themselves on the back (and laughing in our faces), for wasting around £100,000 of our money on a bloody box at the O2 O no dome, then they might have some cash and resources to sort this problem out for good.

I'm sick and tired of cars slowing down and stopping in the middle of the road at all times of the day so the drivers can see what dodgy deals can be had with the very dodgy looking salesmen. These blokes make Arthur Daley seem completely charming and professional.

And another thing. The revving engines are pretty annoying too, especially at 10.30 at night when I was actually woken up by a band of dodgy cretins. My advice to the buyer. If the car is so sh*t that you have to rev it so hard, then maybe it's not worth buying?

Oh yes, letters are flying off to Greenwich Council (again), as we speak.

Now, does Ablair sell nice big sledgehammers?

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

Is this modern art?

In my vision for Plumsteadshire - nice cafe with evening jazz, restaurant serving basic but quality English dishes, cinema club and localised freecycle centre, is an art gallery. It would be called Tate Common. Well, it would until Nicholas Serota sends a law-suit in the post.

So. Art.

Was David Mach [artist who built a submarine from car tyres], in Plumsteadshire last night?
Look what I saw. Did you? Is this fly tipping of the highest order?

Curiouser and curiouser.........

Friday, 8 June 2007

wireless electricity

Wireless electricity. I've wondered about this one before and now we're a step closer to it.

Imagine this. Tapping into someones' wireless power network, just like you can tap into their WiFi broadband connection. Power your laptop on your neighbour's electricity bill. Well, why stop there? Run your fridge, tv, washing machine off their juice.

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

TV ads

So the 2012 Olympic brand has scored two own goals.

1) That it looks like a a ball smashing through a window (what a bad omen).
2) That the video has triggered illness to some people. I for one throw up every time I look at this poor excuse for an brand identity.

As a loose segue to my favourite brand, here is Apple doing a mighty fine job of tv adverts. No flashing garish colours.

And here are the Japanese Mac ads. Can't understand a word but still get the message.

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

oh no to logo

I love the new 2012 Olympic logo; it's so clever.

If you turn your head 90 degrees, you can almost see a graphic designer (stuck in the 80's new romantics phase), laughing in the face of Lord Coe.


So glad my taxes are being spent on World class creative agencies.

Wolff Olins, shame on you.

Monday, 4 June 2007

Plumstead Common Environment Group

Pangloss : Sirrah. What word from Padua?

Merchant : That the Plumstead Common Environment Group hath energy renew'd and form a gay band once more (unto the breech dear friends).

Pangloss : 'Tis a done deal. Our dearly belov'd common ground of the quare folke, Plum orchards and Polish trolley buses will too be reviv'd. Sheriff Nick Day will see to 't that he and his merry minstrels will do for the Shire endless good.

Merchant : To be sure, the plebians o' the Shire will one day recognise their hard work. Good morrow. [exeunt]

Pangloss : The misfortune o' the common human being is selfishness. The people of the Shire will enjoy the fruits of the PCEG's labour but care not of their toil. I fear that the graft of the PCEG will ne'er see recognition before Halley cometh.

[enter a ghoulish cadaver]

Cadaver : Sire. Hast thou a dividend card?

Monday, 14 May 2007

Deep thinking pub

At first glance, I thought this said "Sky Sport Nowhere", as if The Lord Derby was making an existential statement.

Friday, 11 May 2007

what a tart

Boy oh boy. Approaching tea time today, I had a craving for a custard tart.
I love 'em.
We're not talking about the Portuguese one (too tough)

or the Chinese one (too sweet), but your English one. I remember buying them from Barton's the bakers in the 1970's. The nutmeg sprinkles makes all the difference. A good custard tart delivers, even more than a Tunnocks Tea Cake.

My extensive research has shown the best to be purchased from Sainsbury's (but of course, this is completely subjective). The taste, texture and nutmeg : custard ratio are just right.

This image on the left is an inferior quality tart due to its' slightly sunken custard and sombre complexion, but it's the best I could find on the interweb.

Thursday, 10 May 2007

Sign this please


Tense nervous headache?

Well, you might be stuck in the Blackwall Tunnel Approach Road.

Sign here to unblock the congestion.

Thursday, 3 May 2007

easy on the PCEG

Alright already. There seems to have been a bit of finger pointing in my previous post re. PCEG and Nick Day. I apologise for being quiet on the writing front; I've not been sitting back and sunning myself in the outdoor pool, but life is just hectic at the moment.

Now I'm going to stick my oar in.

1) I don't think the anonymous writer who kicked up a little dust has said anything wrong. I think they are very complimentary about Nick Day and quite balanced in their arguments. The points raised might be a little harsh, but if this is what they (member or non-member), think then it's good get it off their chest. As I'm not a member and don't know the ins and outs of the PCEG, I can't say.

2) We have busy lives. I've not joined the PCEG because I feel I'll be a waste of space by not being an active member; heck, I can't even find time to contribute to my own blog. I do believe Plumstead Common is gorgeous because of the PCEG and I hope all the good people of the Shire recognise their contribution. I'll have to join. Can't make a change just by sitting around.

3) I don't mind people posting anonymously even though I've been (metaphorically spat at), by anonymous commenters. It's true. People are able to speak their minds in this way. I'd rather people be honest and get things off their chest. I don't think I've ever deleted anyone's comments, even when I was being accused of being a snob.

Enough, my busy life tells me to get on with house chores.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Our Common Story

Want to know more about your area? Do you like an informative read about where you live? Well, do ya?

I believe there are still copies of Our Common Story available. It's the definitive history of Plumstead Common and a perfect present for everyone from 9 - 90. Get yours now.

Conservation Area

Greenwich Council are hosting an afternoon drop-in session to mull over their daft, in mean draft, appraisal of Plumstead Common conservation area.

It will be held at The Slade Hall, Erindale (sounds like a character from the hit movie, Lord Of The Rings), between 4pm - 7pm next Tuesday (24th April 2007). Pity about the time. So if you're working and care about the conservation aspect of Plumsteadshire, tough cheese.

Go along and have your say.

Tuesday, 10 April 2007

The Old Post Office

I felt really gutted when I saw the Old Post Office being gutted; I guess someone has bought it and making use of it. Bang goes my idea of turning it into a jazz café.

Please let's hope they have some imagination and not just turn it into flats.

So who does have any information on the new developments? I for one would like to know more.

Back to our old friend, Busta Rhyme. He's shown his lack of aesthetic in the past and the new tasteless banners hanging outside the pub are not even worthy of a closing down sale at a pound shop. Is business so poor that Busta needs to fly flags to advertise the fact of being open? I'd love to make The Ship my regular drinking hole, but it has as much charm as pair of oversized gold hoop ear-rings. I'll stick with The Star thanks.

Tuesday, 3 April 2007


If I'm not mistaken, this is a Chelsea (or Croydon), facelift.

It's when a lady scrapes back her hair so much that she looks through her nostrils. Nice.

This example isn't too bad though.

See also, Catherine Tate Am I Bovvered girl.

Sunday, 1 April 2007

Plumstead High Street

Take a look at new Plumstead blog, Sibonetic. I have and he's brought up the subject of the North - South divide (in Plumstead); unfortunately, it certainly exists.

I like it around Plumstead High Street. Coming home from work last week, I thought I'd detour around the area to check it out. There's a real vibrancy there and a whole range of shops that underline the diversity of our community in Plumstead.

Now, does anyone know about the little Goan Restaurant on Plumstead High Street? I've been eating there for a couple of years and love it, but has it closed down? I hope not. Their Chicken Xacuti is superb and their pilau rice is the best around.

Saturday, 31 March 2007

I'm such a snob

Many thanks to one lovely listener for putting me right on my 'It's Safe Innit?' piece.

Anonymous said...

Do I notice a touch of snobbery in the land of Plumsteadshire?

Pangloss, you should try having a light ale in either The Prince Albert or The Wo'd a Thought It. I'm quite confident that you would feel suitably uncomfortable in either of the said establishments.

Go on, try it sometime.

You really neeed to remove those blinkers!

I know there are unsavoury characters in Plumsteadshire and I know there are places to avoid; that can be said of any village, town and city, but I'm a 'glass half full' kind o' person. I like a rant now and again, but why is it snobbish to highlight the positive points of an area? Why is it snobbish to have a positive outlook on life? I'm certainly not blinkered, I know what's going on around me.

As for the pubs you mention, yes I have been for drinks in both establishments. You're right, they're not a picture of CAMRA utopia, but that's real life. These places aren't my first choice, but I don't condemn places like these either. Whether you like it or not, they serve a strata of society.

Thursday, 29 March 2007

Use your mirrors!!!!!

Do MPs actually live in the real World?

Introducing speed limiters on bikes? Yes, there are lots of maniac bikers around who show no road sense or road respect, the vast majority of these have big square boxes on the back and deliver pizzas. There are lots of maniac car & van drivers too and let me not forget Royal Mail
trucks or buses.

Yes, speed does kill, but what statistics for bad driving? Tail-gating on a motorway, turning without signalling, changing lanes without checking a mirror or the blind spot? Every one of us has seen some silly mistake or really stupid manoeuvre. Did I mention using mobile phone whilst driving? Or applying lipstick? I've seen even worse.

I've been knocked off my scooter. I was riding below 20mph and some f****r pulled out towards my legs. My headlights were on, my dayglo jacket was Cillit Bang zingy, but did they bother to look before changing lanes? No. If this brilliant government want to tackle road accidents, try tackling bad driving.

It's safe. Innit?

It seems the subject of safety in Plumsteadshire has cropped up, and not before long neither!!

A few lovely listeners have brought this up in the previous thread [I think that's the technical terminology - ed.] and I know which side of the fence I stand on; many thanks to Sibonetic for coming up with some serious crime stats.

I moved from Brockley to Plumstead Common and have never looked back. For me, Brockley was a fairly scary place. I never relished walking home from the train station at night and there was a very grizzly looking place called the Alpha Club, the sort of place where all music and chatter stops once a stranger walks through the door. I only got burgled once, and that was quite enough.

My friends thought I was mad when I told them where I was moving to, but ho ho ho, who's got the last laugh now.

I don't want to tempt fate, but I definitely feel safe walking around the Shire. I even feel safe waiting at bus stops in Woolwich!!!! Did I say Woolwich???? Yessirrrreee I did.

My journey home from work takes on a series of stress/anxiety levels.
1 - 10. (1 - being calm as a lake on a nice hot summer's evening. 10 being as stressed as a London commuter on stinking hot summer's evening)

Inner London - 7
Camberwell - 9
Peckham - 9
New Cross - 7
Deptford - 8
Blackheath - 2
Royal Standard - 3
Charlton - 6 (cars parked along the village and blocking up the road)
Plumstead Common Road - 4 (traffic jams on long hill leading up to Roy's Store)
Plumstead Common - 2

Monday, 12 March 2007


I really wanted to go to the Plumstead Common Environment Group's meeting on Sunday. I believe they were discussing the plans for the Plumstead Manor School.

Well, here is my submission for designs. It plays homage to the English suburban vernacular style. Latin classes will be taught on a one-in-one-out basis.

Roadworks can be great

I've always thought the junction at the top of Griffin Road & Waverley Crescent to be a tad dangerous. Vehicles driving (usually with mobile phone in hand), from The Common, heading downhill love to cut the corner at a brisk speed. Is this a dangerous junction the Council should be aware of? I'll say.

Thanks for the respite though. The roadworks are a real boon to road safety.

On this subject, there is a very dangerous junction near Queen Elizabeth Hospital. I'm talking Charlton Park Lane and Cemetery Lane. Cut corners? Massacre corners more like. No wonder Greenwich Council built a cemetery and a hospital there. Forward planning eh? So I assume we need a few road deaths until the Highways Dept will do something about it.

Wednesday, 7 March 2007

Estate Agents

One lovely listener, The Plumster no less, has come across a little rumour on the Plumstead Common rumour-mill express.

The shop that's not a shop [it's a shop space, but advertises nothing for sale. There are baths and toilets and stacks of plasterboard, but no sales desks. Nor is there any indication of where to purchase aforementioned goods. It's a kind of storage space/installation art hybrid; more Hoxtonshire than Plumsteadshire]. I digress.........the shop on the corner of Admaston Road and Plumstead Common Road.

Is it or isn't it? Turning into an estate agent I mean. Deal or no deal?

Reading the many comments posted on Plumsteadshire - It's All For The Best In This Best Of All Possible Worlds, there's clearly an interest in the potential gentrification of our leafy suburb. And the more astute of us will know that the early signs of this trend are when estate agents move into the area. Oh, and coffee shops too. Any whiff of serious money will be snuffled out by an estate agent.

It's also a fair point made as to why little old Plumsteadshire would want another estate agent. If this is all just rumour, why have we not been offered the opportunity to purchase the shop-not-shop? I for one would be interested to turn it into a jazz café.

Friday, 23 February 2007


Here's a post to get us going.

Anonymous said...

Off thread - but....

I'm sick of the state of the streets around shit, spit, rubbish etc. The way they tarmaced the roads etc. Walk from the common to the station and it rapidly gets worse.

Ablairs treat Ennis road as though it's part of their yard. Dodge the forklift as you pass by.

The majority of people round here are chavs and drink 'tinned' lager.

I want to live in greenwich and the sooner I get enough money I'll be moving.

Oh and the ship? It's a shit hole -the owner hasn't a clue.


Dear anonymous,

I can't disagree with you about the streets. Walking to the train station on a morning, I am also gob-smacked by the amount of detritus littering the pavements. Dropping litter is a bug-bear of mine. It's so easy to find a bin, and if there's no bin, then wait 'til you get home. Littering is a brilliant way of keeping the rat population up. [Rant over] I don't know why the streets are less tidy down that way though. Is it the residents? Is it the commuters? Does Griffin Road have hyper-active foxes? Like The Plumster said, just contact Cleansweep. If they don't know about it, they can't deal with it.

It might be annoying when Ablair is loading/unloading, but they definitely don't do it to annoy the people of Plumsteadshire. I've only had good service when buying a handful of 3/4" no 8's.

The majority of Plumstead Common residents are chavs? I must be walking around with rose-tinted spectacles or I've not wandered to the bad side of town. Yes, I've seen the odd yoof in the day-time taking a libation, but the vast majority are probably at work.

I wouldn't say no to Greenwich either, but certainly couldn't afford the prices. Anyway, I've lived in Blackheath with the nouveau riches and there was a severe lack of community spirit there. Being judged by your bank balance and car isn't high on my list of conversational topics.

The Ship Pub........... no comment.

Plumsteadshire does have many faults, but for me these are greatly out-weighed by the many strengths.

So lovely listeners, do you agree with the anonymous resident?
Is it time to get out?

New kid on the block

There's a new discussion forum website for Plumstead Common. It's new, it's exciting and here.

Good luck with the site. It's just what the people of Plumstead Common are looking for.

Just a little note though. With regards recommending builders, plumbers, candle-stick makers etc, you should post up a disclaimer as this is easily open to abuse as any bodge-it-n-scarper could recommend their own 'skills' on your site. This is one reason I've held back from having a recommended trades page.

Pangloss looks forward to your contributions to building on the Plumstead Common community.

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

Big helicopters

Over the past month or so, I've noticed Chinook helicopters around London; they're really distinctive as they have two rotor blades.

Maybe they've always flown around London but never really noticed them, or are we on high terrorist alert?

Still, they're kind o' pretty in a 'troop-carrier-war-machine' sort of way.

Sunday, 18 February 2007

Do it yourself

Here's a comment made earlier on Plumsteadshire:-
Anonymous said...

Will it continue to be a regular feature of this blog to write reports on local residents who might be mentally ill - or perhaps mutter to themselves, or maybe have nervous ticks, or who are just plain eccentric - for the purposes of ridicule and public amusement? Just curious.

Sunday, February 18, 2007 6:07:00 PM

If you want to comment like this, then be brave and tell us who you are. You have the choice NOT to read this blog. If I offend you then I apologise, but I would prefer to blog about the characterful side of the Parish. You are very welcome to start your own blog and write about drying paint.

Friday, 16 February 2007

Hello again

Thanks to the lovely listeners who have taken part in the Plumsteadshire Feedback Forum, more commonly known as blog comments. It is this interaction that makes writing Plumsteadshire so enjoyable.

I am still brain-storming ideas with the Plumsteadshire Creative Team about a possible website, but it's a long way off yet. I have a variety of ideas ranging from useless facts to useful tradespeople, but definitely don't want it exclusively about pubs.

Speaking of which, the general consensus on The Ship is that it is crap. As I had pointed out before, the (interior & exterior), design is non-existent and it sounds like the atmosphere is pretty frosty too. I'm going to pop in to check it out myself at some point. I think I'll let it settle a little before I do though; let Mr Patel iron out the little creases before I go for a Bishop's Finger.

Friday, 9 February 2007

Rocky Balboa spotted in Plumsteadshire

So this morning, I look across The Common. It still had a good smattering of icy snow, not like the dense duvet-like stuff from earlier in the week, no it was dotted about, just enough so that a walker could see if a dog turd lay on the grass.

Whilst surveying this green and pleasant patch, I saw a mad man.

A fellow dressed in tracksuit bottoms and woolly hat was jogging about whilst punching the freezing cold air. He wasn't even doing this in a discreet manner, he was along the path merely yards from Plumstead Common Road - at rush hour!!!!

Care in the community (doesn't exist - ed.), or the next welter-weight champion of Welling? He was there for quite some time, jogging about, punching the air, dancing around trees and shadow boxing with them. The highlight of his display were his under-whelming high kicks. He'd stick out his hand at high level and kick his legs up. His feet came nowhere near his hand and I'm sure his legs should be straight too; Steven Segal's legs were straight when he demonstrated that he's much more than a chef in that seminal classic, Under Siege.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

No dice

Oh, I was so looking forward to spending my days and nights at the Super-Doom Casino. The thought of eating microwaved burger & chips whilst glugging Super-T seemed so enticing. Suppose I'll see if Busta has a slot machine so I can 'live the dream'.

Cheap jibes aside, I'm glad we don't have a huge casino here, but in the same way that I'm pleased Mr Patel has made an effort with the once disused Ship Pub, I'd rather have a casino than a huge disused building, but only just.

Friday, 26 January 2007

Ship or Pish? YOU DECIDE!!!!

Got off the 53 bus last night and saw the Ship ablaze with fun, frolics and gay abandon. There was a son et lumiere show and the Grimethorpe Colliery brass band played a rousing fanfare whilst the Duke of Edinburgh cut the red ribbon.

Actually, the windows had steamed up and I couldn't see a thing.

Did anybody go? How does it weigh up against The Star, The Woodman, The Prince Albert and The Mill?

Friday, 19 January 2007

Car crash TV

I've not managed to watch the latest series of Big Brother and now certainly don't intend to. However, it's impossible to avoid the BB racism spat.

If there is racist abuse going on in da house (lingo for our new resident - Busta), then I applaud Carphone Warehouse for its' stance on the situation. In fact, I am SO happy with their actions that I'll even post a logo here.

Carphone Warehouse - for all your mobile telephony needs and gadgetry.

Friday, 12 January 2007

The Ship

Thanks to Dimps for reporting back on this evening's council meeting. I'm not at all surprised at the outcome. One lovely listener has sung the praises of Mr Patel and we can't bash him about for opening a pub. His latest proposal has changed considerably from the Busta proposal.

Let's give him a chance, then if he The Ship changes its' identity back towards Busta, let's bash him then - legally, not physically.

Enough already.

This blog isn't exclusively about pubs. There are more important things out there you know. Like the fact that we can actually walk on custard and that Apple Computer produce damn fine stuff. Did I mention the iPhone?

By the by, the recommendations of trades-people via Plumsteadshire does make me realise the limitations of this blog. I'm working on a Plumsteadshire website and among the many ideas I have for it, good trades-people sounds like a good page to include.

Tuesday, 9 January 2007



Apple phone

Nothing to do with pubs or anything gastro.

The tech. rumour-mill has been running at high speed and this time has got it right. Apple Computer has announced an iPhone. I can't see that it'll do for phones what iPod did for personal stereos. We'll see.