Kill, kill, violence, yehhh, grunt

The people next door (I can't call them neighbours as there is nothing neighbourly about them), are indulging in a killing spree. From 7 o'clock last night until past midnight, the young children have been firing machine guns and exploding things on their games console. They can do as they please, but their windows are wide open¹ and all I've been hearing is the noise of death and destruction. Being a hot night, I had to close my windows and still heard it all loud and clear.

I'm fairly amazed the feral scrotes have woken up already as killing for 5 hours must be tiring. Before 10 o'clock this morning, I'm subjected to more of the same.

The Shameless family completely stick out like a sore thumb here. I'm all for integration and a mixed community, but they're not playing ball. What sickens me most is that our taxes are paying for them to continue to lounge around the house all day.

Playing Devil's Advocate, are they actually the smart ones? Why work for a living when you can stare at a TV all day long?

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footnote

1- I've never understood why the Shameless keep windows wide open, even when it reached freezing point in Winter. BTW, they're not stuck open, as they have closed them once in a while.

Vuvuzela

I think I may be one of a majority who have never heard of a vuvuzela before this World Cup. I'm not offended by the trumpeting sound, but after the soccer competition, will it just die away as a footie fad? Let's embrace it.

I think Wimbledon would receive a real lift with the vuvzela on court number one.

Sharapova about to serve for match point. Intense concentration. VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU............

I hear a saw

The 'Shameless' household have been relatively quiet. Maybe it's because I popped round and spoke to them. Maybe my other neighbours have said things to them. I know I'm not the only one to have spoken out.

Last week, they were sawing away one evening. It got darker. Still sawing. It was night. Still sawing.....

....the macabre side of my brain was really hoping to hear a sudden yelp and see the Shameless carrying a severed leg into the house. The compassionate side was hoping just to see a foot.

Something WAS afoot.

"What's he building in there?" I asked myself.

I thought of the eerie Tom Waits song.

It was night-time and he was still sawing and hammering. What's he building in there?

When will chavs become extinct?

I'm feeling really sorry for myself. You see I've lived with some nice neighbours and we get along well.

Last weekend a whole gang of chavs moved into the house next door. I'll hold back on being judgemental and see how things pan out as under their track-suited exteriors, they may be gentle and kind hearted.

Four days on and I'm already losing patience. The children have been running around until 11.30pm, they've got televisions playing in most rooms and seem not to have off switches. Whilst in my garden, one little oik climbed onto a flat roof and shouted "Oi!" to/at me. Really nice. Of course, the obligatory dogs; they're kept in a cage upstairs and bark and whine for hours on end - I would feel a whole lot better if these children were bundled in with them.

I really did want to go round, say hello and welcome them to our little corner of The Shire, but I just don't see the point. Is there any point?

Already I'm dreading Summer as I envisage garden raves and loud music long into the early hours. Oh what joy, it'll be like living in a Mike Leigh film.

Having nice neighbours is so bleedin' under-rated.

Any advice gratefully received.

jungle drums

Over the past couple of mornings, I've woken up to the sounds of jungle drums or some sort of repetitive beat. It sounds very distant, coming from Plumstead Manor School/Plumstead High Street direction.

First of all, I thought these were noises inside my head, a bit like writing a blog (talking but no-one listening, hearing drums but no-one playing. You get where I'm coming from?).

Anyway, I'm convinced there are distant drums noises, but why on earth at 5am? Is it an illegal rave happening in Plumstead Manor? Is it the long lost tribe of Temmesmead Marshes making communication with civilisation?