DLR coming to Woolwich

So Woolwich is one step closer to the DLR tunneling, one step closer to Mankind.

There is a boring machine in place.
Well dear, I never expected it to be exciting did I?

Common Forensics

Well, the forensic scientists have been scouring the Common in their fetching one piece hoodys (so last year). I fear they'll find alot more to do with the dodgy drug dealers who park up there every evening rather than whatever happened to this person. I wonder if the two are related?

I walk across the Common every evening in the pitch darkness after work. Oddly, I don't feel put off, but maybe I should err on the side of caution.

If this is gang related, then I'm not bothered (bovvered), nor scared. If it's a couple of psycho's who just picked on a passer-by, then this can happen anywhere.

Well, rather than escape from London, I remind myself that at least we've got freedom of speech, a great social health system, respectful children, a democractically elected Mayor and Government who work for the good of the us tax payers.......... oh, none of the above.

Plumstead Common taped off

I noticed that Plumstead Common has been cordonned off by the police this morning. That would explain why I couldn't get any sleep last night, what with a police chopper hovering overhead. And there was I thinking they were filming another episode of 'Police, Camera, Action' for Men & Motors.

Can't be very serious on the Common though, as the police have erected a tent in the middle of it all. They must be enjoying tea & biscuits.

Plumstead Village

Let's show some love to Raffles. Thanks for the Ship pub weblink.

Referring to the link, I'd be amazed if we end up with a speciality fish restaurant, and I'd eat my hat if Plumstead Common has its' own French Restaurant. I know estate agents love to big up a property, but French Restaurant?????? That is a stretch of anyone's imagination. Go on HHP, call it 'a bijou French restaurant endorsed by Michel Roux in the leafy suburb of Plumstead Village'. Anyone can write copy for estate agents. I think I'd have a good time being an estate agent spin doctor.

Anyway, back to 'stretch of the imagination'. Remember that fishmongery which opened up for about 6 months? The shop that is now Crimson Rose florist? Well, I was so excited that a PROPER shop had come to Plumsteadshire, that I even went to make a purchase. Got to support your local shops. This, of course was a few years ago.

Picture it. It's Friday, so I thought I'd make myself a fish supper. Pop out to the local fishmonger and buy something that had only been swimming around the Cornish coastline early that morning. Nice and fresh. In the shop, not much on display, so assume the stock is in the chiller cabinet in the back of the shop. I ask the squire for some mackerel.
"Has to be ordered a week in advance".
I'm left slightly agog. I mean, I wasn't exactly asking for Chaunax Suttkusi or a Japanese shark's fin. Maybe I should've taken the hint when I saw the empty display chiller.

My point is this. Is Plumstead Village ready for gentrification? Does Plumstead Village want to become a Village? Or remain a Common?

I think it's absolutely ripe for the move. A nice outlook across the leafy open space. Nice houses around. Nice big woodlands only a short walk away, our own karate club. What more do you need? A good CAMRA pub would be really nice and a specialist fish restaurant. Call me old fashioned, but I am glad that bizarre African hairdresser/minimarket combo has gone. I'm all for multiracial integration, but I also like a shop to look neat too. A hairdresser which also sells huge bags of rice and luminous pink plastic buckets displayed on the pavement just didn't do it for me. I'm not quite so offended by the shop on the corner which looks like a storage space for bathrooms and sinks. It's clearly not a showroom, but clearly a wasted opportunity.

I'm sure the council have grants for shopfronts, but Plumsteadshire is probably low down in the food chain and such grants will only filter as far as Blackheath.

Lookalikes

It's been such a long time since I've blogged, I almost forgot how to do it.

Quick one.

On my way down to Plumsteadshire International this morning, I passed a very cranky old bloke. Cranky, yes but he looked surprisingly similar to the Shatmeister Numero Uno, William Shatner.

There's many a time when a spy camera bow-tie pays dividends. I think Bill Shatner is a one off. You know when you walk the same walk at the same time every morning and evening and you see the same people on the same train and they desperately try to sit in the same seat (oh God, give me a razor blade. Fritz Lang got it just right in Metropolis), anyway I regularly see Woody Allen, but have never seen the Shatmeister though. Maybe he was just visiting his grand children, or just been released from Belmarsh?

All for the best......

Valentine's Day

Popping down to the shops at lunchtime, I just love seeing blokes in lands of the undiscovered.

Jewellers, florists, clothes shops specialising in underwear which simply won't keep a Winter chill away.

It has to be Valentine's Day. Of course it does.
It is hilarious seeing chaps shuffling from side to side whilst trying not to catch the assistant's eye.
Don't talk to me. I don't even want to be here. Just pay and go. Pay and go.

It's great seeing blokes buying jewellery. As long as it shines, it'll do. Assistant speaks of carats and purity and chappy's eye's glint away. That'll be the glint of a person staring into deep space whilst thinking 'what the f*** are you on about?'

The underwear section of M&S must be a great sight. You can just imagine it. Blokes taking ages to dare and cross the threshold off the aisle and into a sea of lycra and silk. Tunnel vision is a great thing in these circumstances. Act like a birs of prey, focus on one item, don't care what. Walk quickly in the straightest line to the kill, pull it off the hanger and make for the till. You've already clocked your escape route, so this requires no decision making. At the till, stare at the chip and pin reader and definitely make no eye contact with the assistant. Your mind is so focused on getting out of M&S that you can't even hear the sniggering of customers who can see you are SO out of place here.

Religion. whatever.

It's interesting to see what's going on with the spats of those in favour of the cartoons and those who have been offended.

Freedom of speech. Yes, I'm for it. Isn't the incredible growth of blogs a testament to this? Ya'll know damn right it is.

On the other hand, I find it quite heartening that religious belief can be so strong that people are prepared to go to great great lengths to defend their belief. I don't get the idea that insulting an invisible 'God' and a religion can be more hurtful than insulting your own mother. I don't get it, I don't want it and I still believe that religion is the cause of a great majority of wars. But I love the idea that people have a belief and that those people aren't lead by having to have the latest 3G phone or wearing this season's D&G pants.

I'd like to know why some people can't see beyond the teachings of their bibles and apply the good bits of it to modern day living.

Plumstead rebranded

Soho has been the centre of creative industries for some years. The big brains of branding have had offices here, as have the film and animation industries. Soho is cool. The name itself is cool. How could we ever forget Soho as a film location in 'Expresso Bongo'? Soho was 'the most'.

Chatting to Matthew, my creative guru. We thought about rebranding certain parts of South East London, I mean there are quite alot of creatives living in the vicinty. So in order to put the South East on the map, we've taken a view on acronyms.

The parish of Forest Hill will be branded as NOBU. That's North of Beckenham. If there were a university in Beckenham, that would be spot on. Thinking about it, what courses would Beckenham Uni have to offer? A great and varied prospectus comes to mind, however that's another blog entry for sure.

Plumsteadshire doesn't seem to come out so well in the wash of branded villages. South of Woolwich doesn't cut it - SOWO. South East of Woolwich - SEWER. How about West of Welling - WEWE?

Never liked the world of branding anyway.

International Day of Anger

The Mayor of London presents many events in Trafalgar Square to celebrate the multi cultures of our great city, but even the 'International Day of Anger' is beyond our Ken.

I've not seen these cartoons, but from hearing about them on the wireless, I've no doubt they are fiercely offensive. But to declare an international day of anger? Most, if not everyone in the World must have experienced being deeply offended at some time in their life, but to go to these extremes? I tell you what, this story makes me angry.

For all the persecution the Jews have faced since the year dot, all the racist hardship immigrants have faced since the 1950s and beyond, the playground insults which push some children to suicide, the glass ceiling for women in the workplace, the thousands of jokes made about Christian religion, the billions of times people say 'Oh God' in a blasphemous way etcetera.

Inadvertantly, I have joined the day of anger, caused by The Day of Anger. If we can create energy this same perpetual way, our planet would have a rosier future.

Plumsteadshire - home of the famous

Look-a-likes.

I saw a great one this week. A Woody Allen look-a-like got on the train at Plumsteadshire International. Oh yes, I can see a few fetes being opened by Woody's doppelganger.

What with Woody Allen and Jodie Kidd living in Plumsteadshire, maybe the new signage will get planning approval, along with blue plaques.

Chantelle wins Big Brother

I've been watching quite a bit of Celebrity Big Brother.

It's a strange thing. I don't know why I find it so fascinating. I can't quite justify it along the lines of sociological or psychological experiment as it's set in such a fake and calculatingly electric atmosphere.

What the hell, I've had these discussions with friends who refuse to get off their high horses. More the case of 'how dare they police what I want to watch'.

Rant out of the way, I am really pleased that Chantelle has won. It's great that 'niceness' has won out over bitchy nastiness. Chantelle might not be the brightest stars in the sky, but being 'down to earth' and honest has paid off. Pete the Freak also claims that he was just being honest, but how screwed up is he that whenever he opens his fat mouth he can only spit bile? Two different takes on being honest.

Well done Chantelle. You might not want to change, but you're going to have to fight pretty hard to escape the clammy hands of the gutter press.

Windoze

Having been bamboozled by techno babble, I thought I'd be very fair and accept that PCs are possibly better than Macs. It's a fair cop.
However
This week, working at a company with rooms full of Windoze machines, I had to work on a D*ll machine. Ooh, how lucky am I? I faced daily application crashes and stuttering whilst typing in M****soft W**d.
Ah well, so I was put on another machine. H****** P****** Much better. Crash free, but Out*** E****** only delivers some of my mail (seemingly not unlike Consignia or whatever they're called).
Sorry Mr Gates, my allegiance still lies firmly with Mr Jobs.

And tonight Matthew, I'm gonna be....

The one solitary thing I like about The Stage, the periodical to the acting profession, is the section in the back of the paper. No, not the sports pages.... well, these people can be called good sports in one [warped] sense, no, the back pages are full of LOOK-A-LIKES.

Thank God the pictures are thumbnail sized images and have names of their supposed famous doppelgangers, otherwise I'd be struggling. Photographs of ordinary folk who think they might have a vague resemblance to Tommy, the bloke from TV gardening make-over programmes or any female with long hair and no bra as the woman from TV gardening make-over programmes. My personal favourite (maybe because she's a well known looky-likey), is Jeanette Charles, HRH The Queen, see here in the hit Hollywood comedy, 'The Naked Lunch', I mean, 'The Naked Gun'.

Messing about on the internet, I came across an image of superb quality. One which sums up my love of the World of look-a-likes. Doppelgangers du Monde. [I know I'm mixing languages, but in Plumsteadshire, that's allowed]. Check this fella out.



















Now that's magic.

Actually, on the train in to Charing Cross this morning, I saw a lady who looked like a celeb. To be truthful, only her lips looked like a celeb's lips.

Leslie Ash.

Need I say more?

Why? Oh why? Oh why do people do it? Fish lips du Monde. Poisson bouche du jour. There are times when I wish I wore a bow-tie only so that I could have one of those 1960s spy film cameras secreted within. I'll have to try and catch the same train next week.

Superstitious? Moi?

If you're fearing leaving the house today, what are you going to be like on 6th June?

Bad news is good news

I think I've found out how to increase hits on my blog.

Look out for subjects that divide nations (Mac v PC), and create debate over local issues (the future of Woolwich).

So what shall we tackle today?

1. Illegal immigrants?
2. Gay marriage?
3. Why the continual rise of teenage pregnancies?
4. Is the War on Iraq justified?
5. What is the point of Bob Crow?
6. Should motorbikes be allowed in bus lanes?
7. What will happen to call centres after they've moved to the country with the cheapest labour in the World? Where next?
8. Why work for a living when you can sponge off the state?
   
9. Shooting squads for ASBOs?

I still prefer to delve into more important questions like

1. Who made the first rubber band ball and why?
2. Is black a real colour?
3. Why does Ruth Kelly have such a deep voice?
   
4. How old is Mae West?

It's been great receiving loads of comments from PC fans abusing us Mac users. As they're informed and considered responses, I don't mind. More the merrier.

Writing a blog is a very odd thing. With these comments flying into my mailbox, I've felt like Jon Gaunt when he had his show on BBC Radio London 94.9fm (not that I'm addicted to the station or anything). However, I found it particularly interesting how some people got prickly about the library story. I mean, that's not even a controversial subject.

Books for the masses

There could be a new library for Woolwich?
If it's not just rumour, this will be a good thing.

I've worried about the demise of The Library for years. You just don't know how well they are used. When I lived in the district of Lewishamshire, I used to make use of the Open Learning Centre, a cheap way to boost my basic computing skills.

I must admit that I love libraries, but can't stand reading, so I'm my own worst enemy. Libraries have recognised people like me and spread their net by introducing CDs, DVDs, internet access and probably start selling sacks of potatoes by the front door. Even though I've not taken a book out of the library since library membership cards were pieces of card folded into a small pocket, I use libraries alot. Borrowing CDs is a great way of trying out new flavas (I think that's yoof talk). Of course, I could flick through iTunes Music Store instead.

Well, if Woolwich does get a new library, I hope it's a proper library, a proper building for learning and reading, not just an uninspiring room with a 'community centre' next door and a 'family creche'. Screaming kids and 'SILENCE' just don't go together.

When Peckham Library opened, I went to visit straight away. Being a bit of a literary heathen, yet again, I didn't go for the books, I went for the architecture. The building is fantastic. I'm a big fan of modern architecture and this looked great. A bold statement for London architecture and helped put another much maligned and forgotten part of our city on the architectural map. My only thought was that I wished there were more books. Minor detail or does it just reflect the changing role of the library?

If the Thames Gateway project happens, Woolwich has to play a big part in it. It's all very well reporting bold headlines in the local press about a potential development of the largest shopping centre in Europe, or whatever it's meant to be, but if it's cheap and tacky architecture, it'll be Europe's largest crap shopping centre.

I've very little trust in town planners, I mean, just look at the tens of thousands of acres of dull, uninspired new housing estates. Did I hear someone say "Thamesmead"? It'd be a good thing to get involved now to get our voices heard and try to get quality rather than quantity into Woolwich & The Thames Gateway. Largest shopping centre in Europe? Big doesn't equal good.

God Almighty

Thanks yet again to Philhuk for more useful advice. This sounds more feasible than my first idea, that of reading up on Darwinian Theory and proving them wrong.

Talking of DT, this is nothing to do with it, but worth a look.

Macs v PCs - whatever

Thanks to philhuk for putting me straight on the Mac v PC debate. I bow to your knowledge. Knowledge is a great thing to have and a greater thing to share. However, the techy talk is complete gobledigook to me and means nothing; I'm sure it makes complete sense to other IT bods and proves that Macs are an inferior product.

I know what I know and I know what I like.

It's the same if a car mechanic tells me about the workings of an engine. I want it to do its' job and to do it very well, I don't want to know how it does it.

Recently, I had a situation when a roofer came to quote on a job. He spoke with alot of knowledge and threw in alot of technical jargon to blind me with science. Unfortunately for him, architecture is something I know about. Of course, it would be silly of me to let on; that would spoil my fun.

What I must do though, is to read up on how to deal with Jehovah's Witnesses.

Macs versus PCs

That old question crops up now and again. It's a bit like
- vegetarian or carnivore?
- are women better than men? (I really don't want to open up that can of worms)
- how old's Mae West? (classic line from Hitchcock's 'The 39 Steps')

It's right that Macs cost more, but then quality comes at a price.

I've owned Macs for 8 years and have had 2 viruses in that whole lifetime, both in Microsoft documents. I used a 2.5Ghz Dell at work and it ran SLOWER than my old 533Mhz Mac at home. I've seen inside another PC whilst the IT bloke opened it up at work and it looked a complete mess. My friend had a brand new PC for under half a year and the motherboard sizzled out.

It obviously sounds like I'm PC bashing, but I can only go by my own experience. I'm sure a good PC is great, but an over-priced Mac is superb.

Apple Mac

I feel particularly proud of myself.

Computers and cars and bikes are one and the same to me; I know what I like, I want it to look good, I want it to work well, but I don't really want to know what goes on behind the scenes.

Today, I bought an internal DVD drive for my G4. I've opened it up once before and that was to install RAM. I found out how to remove the old drive and installed the new one.

Piece of cake.

Any IT geek will do this blindfolded, but I don't profess to being a geek.
I'm proud of myself, but it's only made easy by the uber geeks in Cupertino, the Apple Mac designers, who create machines as clutter-free on the inside as they are on the outside.

Having just sung the praises of the Mac, I've just found out that Jonathan Ive, the British fella who designs for Apple, has been made a CBE. Quite right too.