The beach

Popped down to the Millenium Dome today [I just can't call it by its' new name; that's just too much free advertising].

By the way, did I mention that Apple make the gorgeous iPhone? Yes, Apple. The iPhone is this year's Christmas gadget must-have. It's not cheap, but it'll be non too shabby neither. And one more thing, it runs OS X. Available from all good...... actually, I don't know where to get it, but what the hey?

I digress.

Dome. That's right. I wanted to see the developments at this venue and also to see the Beach. It's to bring sea-side fun to Londoners who can't afford Margate - now that is really saying something. Given that the Dome has just opened, I expected something fairly spectacular, to give us a wow factor, just to shake off the Dome's bad history. I expected a glistening beach with a wave machine creating a bit of a sea - you can't build much of a sand castle with dry sand. I expected heat and fake sunlight and even a backdrop of a blue sky.

No.

We've got a huge pile of play sand with a couple of fake palm trees. The theming goes as far as a few shark's fins and a raft made from an old wooden pallette. Every expense was spared. It's a dire effort and hugely disappointing. I don't know if this is our version of the Paris Plage?

If you want to take your children for a half day out, join a queue at the Co Op, it's more fun.

last minute request

Listening to the Robert Elms Show on BBC Radio London. 94.9fm.

A listener is wanting to know about a sculpture in the playground of Plumstead Manor School. If anyone does know (in the next hour), then ring or email the show.

020 7224 2000
robert.elms@bbc.co.uk

I did say it's a last minute request.

Cold custard

I was obviously very focused on work today; it suddenly struck me that I've not eaten a custard tart for a few months. I'd not gone through 'cold custard', or even had a hankering.

My last indulgence was finishing off a Marks and Spencer ECT (Egg Custard Tart to the uninitiated). This M&S brand of ECT was recommended by one lovely listener and it certainly delivered, but I do think the pastry chefs at M&S HQ were trying too hard. I found it was a little too flamboyant for my likings.

The Sainsbury's ECT still wins head and shoulders above the rest. The Waitrose offer was just way off the mark with a kind of wholemeal pastry. I mean, what's all that about? Showboating is just not de rigeur when it comes to such culinary basics.

Beyond our Ken

I came across this news story concerning Lord Levy today. I'm sure it's of great national importance, but I'm not interested. However, what caught my attention was how much LL looked like Kenneth Williams.

Did LL ever utter the phrase "'ere, stop messing about?"

Asian Mela

I popped over to the Asian Mela this afternoon. It was a gross disappointment of the highest order. I guess this must be due to the nasty weather.

However, something did catch my eye; it was the only stall/attraction where anyone had bothered to stop at.

It was a spectacle so bad that my toes were curling. You can't even say that it was so bad, it was good. No sirree. It was so bad, it was abysmal.

It was the wrestling. I apologise for not knowing what Asian Mela is or what it celebrates, but I don't actually understand the link between phony play fighting and an Asian cultural event. Maybe wrestling is an age old metaphor for good versus evil and a display of religious enlightenment. Or is it just that the organisers were desperate to fill a plot in the middle of the Common?

Either way, it was like driving past a car crash. You really shouldn't look because it's so terrible, but you just can't help it. [I've always loved the term car crash television. It's completely accurate].

I'm sure wrestling is completely staged and has that kitsch quality about it, but it's kind of fun in a violent and Neanderthal way. I cringed at the way the wrestlers were thrown across the ring. Instead of bouncing off the ropes and hurtling back with a double salko ending with a pile drive, they teetered across the ring like they were in stilletos, threw themselves against the ropes and danced back to belly flop the enemy.

I wandered off in disbelief and pretended to be interested in Saris and sweetmeats. I walked in a complete circle and had the misfortune to pass by the wrestling event again. This time, I saw a man in the ring holding up a horse brass. Silly me, it was a wrestling champion holding aloft a belt with gold plastic panels stuck on. He lacked menace. Then sure as day follows night, a girl from the audience berates him. We are lead to believe she's an ordinary punter, until she removes all her clothes (not quite, but caught your attention), and gives him a real pasting. Acting classes dear? This bunch sure as hell haven't been to RADA.

Illegal cars

I've been here before. The illegally sold cars on Plumstead Common are back in vast quantities. If Greenwich council weren't patting themselves on the back (and laughing in our faces), for wasting around £100,000 of our money on a bloody box at the O2 O no dome, then they might have some cash and resources to sort this problem out for good.

I'm sick and tired of cars slowing down and stopping in the middle of the road at all times of the day so the drivers can see what dodgy deals can be had with the very dodgy looking salesmen. These blokes make Arthur Daley seem completely charming and professional.

And another thing. The revving engines are pretty annoying too, especially at 10.30 at night when I was actually woken up by a band of dodgy cretins. My advice to the buyer. If the car is so sh*t that you have to rev it so hard, then maybe it's not worth buying?

Oh yes, letters are flying off to Greenwich Council (again), as we speak.

Now, does Ablair sell nice big sledgehammers?

Is this modern art?

In my vision for Plumsteadshire - nice cafe with evening jazz, restaurant serving basic but quality English dishes, cinema club and localised freecycle centre, is an art gallery. It would be called Tate Common. Well, it would until Nicholas Serota sends a law-suit in the post.

So. Art.

Was David Mach [artist who built a submarine from car tyres], in Plumsteadshire last night?
Look what I saw. Did you? Is this fly tipping of the highest order?

Curiouser and curiouser.........

wireless electricity

Wireless electricity. I've wondered about this one before and now we're a step closer to it.

Imagine this. Tapping into someones' wireless power network, just like you can tap into their WiFi broadband connection. Power your laptop on your neighbour's electricity bill. Well, why stop there? Run your fridge, tv, washing machine off their juice.

TV ads

So the 2012 Olympic brand has scored two own goals.

1) That it looks like a a ball smashing through a window (what a bad omen).
2) That the video has triggered illness to some people. I for one throw up every time I look at this poor excuse for an brand identity.

As a loose segue to my favourite brand, here is Apple doing a mighty fine job of tv adverts. No flashing garish colours.

And here are the Japanese Mac ads. Can't understand a word but still get the message.

oh no to logo

I love the new 2012 Olympic logo; it's so clever.

If you turn your head 90 degrees, you can almost see a graphic designer (stuck in the 80's new romantics phase), laughing in the face of Lord Coe.

Genius.

So glad my taxes are being spent on World class creative agencies.

Wolff Olins, shame on you.

Plumstead Common Environment Group

Pangloss : Sirrah. What word from Padua?

Merchant : That the Plumstead Common Environment Group hath energy renew'd and form a gay band once more (unto the breech dear friends).

Pangloss : 'Tis a done deal. Our dearly belov'd common ground of the quare folke, Plum orchards and Polish trolley buses will too be reviv'd. Sheriff Nick Day will see to 't that he and his merry minstrels will do for the Shire endless good.

Merchant : To be sure, the plebians o' the Shire will one day recognise their hard work. Good morrow. [exeunt]

Pangloss : The misfortune o' the common human being is selfishness. The people of the Shire will enjoy the fruits of the PCEG's labour but care not of their toil. I fear that the graft of the PCEG will ne'er see recognition before Halley cometh.

[enter a ghoulish cadaver]

Cadaver : Sire. Hast thou a dividend card?

Deep thinking pub

At first glance, I thought this said "Sky Sport Nowhere", as if The Lord Derby was making an existential statement.

what a tart

Boy oh boy. Approaching tea time today, I had a craving for a custard tart.
I love 'em.
We're not talking about the Portuguese one (too tough)
























or the Chinese one (too sweet), but your English one. I remember buying them from Barton's the bakers in the 1970's. The nutmeg sprinkles makes all the difference. A good custard tart delivers, even more than a Tunnocks Tea Cake.

My extensive research has shown the best to be purchased from Sainsbury's (but of course, this is completely subjective). The taste, texture and nutmeg : custard ratio are just right.

This image on the left is an inferior quality tart due to its' slightly sunken custard and sombre complexion, but it's the best I could find on the interweb.

Sign this please

Stressed?

Tense nervous headache?

Well, you might be stuck in the Blackwall Tunnel Approach Road.

Sign here to unblock the congestion.

easy on the PCEG

Alright already. There seems to have been a bit of finger pointing in my previous post re. PCEG and Nick Day. I apologise for being quiet on the writing front; I've not been sitting back and sunning myself in the outdoor pool, but life is just hectic at the moment.

Now I'm going to stick my oar in.

1) I don't think the anonymous writer who kicked up a little dust has said anything wrong. I think they are very complimentary about Nick Day and quite balanced in their arguments. The points raised might be a little harsh, but if this is what they (member or non-member), think then it's good get it off their chest. As I'm not a member and don't know the ins and outs of the PCEG, I can't say.

2) We have busy lives. I've not joined the PCEG because I feel I'll be a waste of space by not being an active member; heck, I can't even find time to contribute to my own blog. I do believe Plumstead Common is gorgeous because of the PCEG and I hope all the good people of the Shire recognise their contribution. I'll have to join. Can't make a change just by sitting around.

3) I don't mind people posting anonymously even though I've been (metaphorically spat at), by anonymous commenters. It's true. People are able to speak their minds in this way. I'd rather people be honest and get things off their chest. I don't think I've ever deleted anyone's comments, even when I was being accused of being a snob.

Enough, my busy life tells me to get on with house chores.

Our Common Story

Want to know more about your area? Do you like an informative read about where you live? Well, do ya?

I believe there are still copies of Our Common Story available. It's the definitive history of Plumstead Common and a perfect present for everyone from 9 - 90. Get yours now.

Conservation Area

Greenwich Council are hosting an afternoon drop-in session to mull over their daft, in mean draft, appraisal of Plumstead Common conservation area.

It will be held at The Slade Hall, Erindale (sounds like a character from the hit movie, Lord Of The Rings), between 4pm - 7pm next Tuesday (24th April 2007). Pity about the time. So if you're working and care about the conservation aspect of Plumsteadshire, tough cheese.

Go along and have your say.

The Old Post Office

I felt really gutted when I saw the Old Post Office being gutted; I guess someone has bought it and making use of it. Bang goes my idea of turning it into a jazz café.

Please let's hope they have some imagination and not just turn it into flats.

So who does have any information on the new developments? I for one would like to know more.

Back to our old friend, Busta Rhyme. He's shown his lack of aesthetic in the past and the new tasteless banners hanging outside the pub are not even worthy of a closing down sale at a pound shop. Is business so poor that Busta needs to fly flags to advertise the fact of being open? I'd love to make The Ship my regular drinking hole, but it has as much charm as pair of oversized gold hoop ear-rings. I'll stick with The Star thanks.

facelift

If I'm not mistaken, this is a Chelsea (or Croydon), facelift.

It's when a lady scrapes back her hair so much that she looks through her nostrils. Nice.

This example isn't too bad though.

See also, Catherine Tate Am I Bovvered girl.

Plumstead High Street

Take a look at new Plumstead blog, Sibonetic. I have and he's brought up the subject of the North - South divide (in Plumstead); unfortunately, it certainly exists.

I like it around Plumstead High Street. Coming home from work last week, I thought I'd detour around the area to check it out. There's a real vibrancy there and a whole range of shops that underline the diversity of our community in Plumstead.

Now, does anyone know about the little Goan Restaurant on Plumstead High Street? I've been eating there for a couple of years and love it, but has it closed down? I hope not. Their Chicken Xacuti is superb and their pilau rice is the best around.