Greenwich Council is far too late

I'm extremely disappointed that most of the events that I was interested in this weekend have already been sold out. I keep my eye out all the time for interesting days out and all that, but only came across the Open Weekend events through the Greenwich Council email alert, which I received this afternoon.

I was interested in a piece of theatre at Charlton House on Sunday. It's free. Bonus. When I phoned up, I was told it was sold out. A fat load of good alerting me to events I can't attend.

Ditto for the free Blow Up event in Maryon Park. No mention of requiring a ticket so I never booked it. Sold Out.

I'd like decent publicity for all these great events. Given that I work for a living, I don't have much spare time to stroll into my library or council office and browse the local events boards.

A busy weekend

The more observant of you will have noticed a countdown timer on Plumsteadshire. It is linked to atomic clocks on Easter Island, Jodrell Bank and Bryn Terfel's Barber Shop on Dallin Road.

We are counting down to 'Plumstead Live!', the premier cultural event on Plumsteadshire's calendar. Looking at the weather forecast, the weekend looks like it'll be nice and sunny for the concert. Keep yourselves free on Sunday 26th July between 3pm - 8pm and come to Winns Common. Spread the word, bring a friend. What the hell, even bring the family too.

There is a very exciting event this Saturday. It's called The Great 'Blow Up' Party In The Park. It's in Maryon Park and forms part of the Greenwich Film Festival. There are tours of the locations used in the film. Shaky bush number 1. Shaky bush number 2 etcetera as well as other goings-on culminating in an outdoor showing of the famous '60s film.

Before you get too excited, do check with the organiser's of the Greenwich Film Festival as the Greenwich Council website has noted that this event has been SOLD OUT. The promotional leaflet I have has no mention of it being a ticketed event, so do double check and if anyone has confirmation of this, please do let us know by posting a comment at the bottom of this blog post.

On Friday (tomorrow), evening there is a similar event at the Well Hall Pleasaunce in Eltham. This time it's the The Railway Children. I don't think there will be tours of famous herbaceous borders, but there definitely will be an outdoor showing of said film.

Share and share alike

When my close personal aides, Margaret and Nick are out of the country, I seek advice from a friend. He is a marketing genius, he is a man who fights fire with fire, he sees lights turn on before the switch has flicked, he wears the same watch as Steve Wozniak, he is The Stig of global branding. He goes by the code name 'Deep Throat'.

Deep Throat read about The Woodman dilemma we have in The Shire. In the dead of night, he phoned me. I pick up the receiver and he says, "www.wooshare.com", then gently puts the phone down. From his SAS training, he knows to get straight to the point.

Maybe this is a way forward for the future of The Woodman?

Komedie Nacht

Oi va voi!!!! How did it slip my mind that tomorrow night is comedy night at the Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus und bierkeller.

Doors open at 7pm

Pay £7.00 on the door

Have a glass of Quinta do Vesuvio, kick your Testoni's off and let the comedy wave your working week away.

mobile phone directory

You may already have heard about this but early next week all UK mobiles will be on a directory which will mean that anyone will be able to access your numbers. It’s easy to unsubscribe but it must be done before the beginning of next week to make sure that you are ex-directory. You may want to suggest it to all your friends and family who have UK mobiles or they could be swamped by unsolicited messages and calls. Removal is recommended by the dear old Auntie BBC.

To remove your number click on the link below, you need your mobile
phone with you to do this as they text you a code

1, http://www.118800.co.uk/

2, Click on ‘Ex Directory’ at top right hand side of page, from
there it’s straight forward.

The Woodman is our big opportunity

One lovely listener has pointed out that The Woodman pub is up for sale. I can confirm this as I sent my aides, Margaret and Nick to take a look. The pub will be sold at auction very soon (this week I think), and has a guide price of around £175,000. I don't know what the sale includes, but a pub overlooking The Common with lacklustre competition sounds a bit of a snip to me. This could be our best chance of a decent gastro-pub. The local demographic is shifting and the demand is definitely here. If I had the resources, I'd be sitting in an auction room with a very twitchy arm.

Extraordinary tennis

I don't follow sport. I don't have the time for it, nor do I want to go through the angst that work colleagues push themselves through every Saturday afternoon; seeing their minor depressions on a Monday morning as their team obviously lost at the weekend. I just don't have the nerve to say, "it's just a bloomin' game. Get over it" as I know that to them it's not just a game, it's a way of life. In a very tiny way, I envy that they know every single statistic to every game of their football team over the past two decades. I don't envy what they know, but the fact that they remember stuff. I'm sure that since becoming a parent, my memory has stopped working. I tell myself that my brain has decided to readjust and work in a very different way - maybe it's a denial of anything like dementia creeping in really early. Where was I? Oh yes....... I don't follow sport.

I don't follow sport, but I was channel flicking on the TV and came across wheelchair tennis!!!! Back in the day when I had time to watch a whole TV programme, I'd treat myself to 'Transworld Sport' on Channel 4 on Saturday mornings. It was great to learn about the Jamaican bob-sled team (it's true), or utterly queer contests in the Far East, but man alive wheelchair tennis left me gob-smacked. Their serves looked pretty fast, but how can you serve when seated? I can't serve when standing up!!?!* So the ball made it over the net and the opponent knocked it back, but then to get back in position on the court, they'd wheel around in swirls which was completely balletic. Truly amazing. You can keep your Anita Roddicks and your Federererers and your Williamses. Brute force and power serves are SO last year. Wheelchair tennis needs more coverage.

Corpsing on air

Listening to the crystal set yesterday, I was enjoying the weather forecast when the weatherman suffered a slip of he tongue. I had to cover my ears in the hope of not hearing any more colourful language however this left him in fits of laughter on air. Real Denis Norden stuff.

telephone service

I'd just like to ask if anyone knows of an alternative (and reliable), supplier for a telephone/broadband service. I'm with BT at the moment and paying a lot of money just for the standing charge.

Thanks in advance.

Plumstead Radical Club

My partner in crime has pointed me in the direction of the Plumstead Radical Club; the jazz band, rather than the imposing building opposite Plumstead Railway Station.

I've had a listen and instantly addicted. I've listened to the track 'One Way' again and again just like I'd taped it off the Top 40 on the wireless. The Plumstead Radical Club have an album out called The Coast Is Clear and I'm sure it's available in your local record store. Well, they don't really exist anymore so it'll be a trip up to Rays Jazz Store. Ahh. That doesn't really exist anymore either. It's now just tucked away in Foyles Bookshop. In my humble opinion, just not a proper record shop.

Well, I don't know if the jazz band are from this leafy suburb or not, but I'd like to know more about them. I must do the modern thing and buy their album on iTu........ Hmmmmm. Interesting. I typed Plumstead into iTunes, hoping to find jazz, but instead am watching a handful of Open University programmes about our dear Plumstead constabulary.

Well, if the PRC are local musicians then I wonder if they're taking part in the Plumstead Live! event. I do hope so.

Catch That Train

My post bag has been bulging this week with requests for information about a train I recently mentioned. That being the one near Falconwood.

Well, it sounds like a bit of an unknown gem in these here parts o' the shire.

The train is run by the Welling & District M.E.S. (model engineering society to us common folk), and it sounds like they'll be evicted from the Falconwood site next year. Boo. Here are the open days:-

14th & 28th June 2009

12th & 26th July 2009

9th & 23rd August 2009

6th & 20th September 2009

4th October 2009

They aren't open the public apart from these dates, so do go along sooner rather than later as you know you'll just keep saying 'ah, I'll go next fortnight', and so on and so on until it's 5th October and that's it. Gone forever.

On these days, they open between 2pm - 5pm. Last orders at 4.30pm.

Here's a funny new-fangled map to locate the train.

View Welling & District M.E.S. in a larger map

iPhone 3G S

The new generation of the gadget of all gadgets, the one and only iPhone, has been announced. The iPhone 3G S. It pretty much follows the rumours that have been bandied around on the blogosphere and maybe that is why I'm still slightly under-whelmed.

The trouble with technology is that it advances so quickly that it's hard to keep up. In trying to keep up, we expect the next big thing to leapfrog the last big thing, well I do anyway. Given that there are phones out there packing 8 mega pixel cameras and the 3G S offers just 3 is one disappointment; one key reason for me to have held back from spending lots of cash and changing phone provider. Even so, I'll have to remind myself one thing. Rather than judging the iPhone on the amount of features and how it'll fare against the competition, I'll appraise it's usefulness for my needs.

1. A good quality phone. tick
2. Speakerphone. tick. Great for being kept on hold by call centres
3. Camera. Uh er. I'll just have to buy a cheap small digital camera
4. Synchronise with my Mac. tick
5. On the go internet. tick. So I can be more spontaneous with blogging
6. Reliability. tick. If it runs as smoothly as my Mac then all's good

I'm not keen on the polished finish though. I like my current phone because I can throw it in my bag and not worry about it getting scuffed. For me, the thing is to be used, not a fashion statement.

A vibrant part of suburbia

I had a really pleasant and eventful weekend. Normally, we'd be day-tripping to far off lands in deepest Kent and Sussex but this weekend was purely Plumsteadshire. Of course, Saturday was the Make Merry, an event which I feel should be more reminiscent of maypoles, sheep driving and smocks rather than a parade of unmuzzled dogs. However, I really like the utterly terrifying clowns which look like they hail from an Edwardian side-show.

Being a key part of the local social calendar, I bumped into alot of friends at the Make Merry and it was this feeling of a community hub that makes the Make Merry special and essential.

In the evening, I went to the comedy night at The Pavilion (AKA the rugby club), and it was an utterly brilliant night out. The comedians were top notch and the audience were very receptive. I really do love the Pavilion space as it's intimate and you're engaged with the performers. I can see it working as a film club venue. I'll try and look into the viability of this idea. My idea is not for another outlet for mainstream Hollywood tosh, but to screen classics, Saturday morning Laurel and Hardy children's club, Woody Allen Wednesdays, David Lean Sundays. Might be cost prohibitive, but you get the idea.

Today, I went to the model railway exhibition at the Firepower Museum. I've never been into trains but I think I might be coming out of the locomotive closet. I thought the model railways were incredible and with immense attention to detail, the scenery told many stories beyond just a train circling a village. Best of all though, I'd discovered a small scale railway which you can actually ride on. It's round the back of an electricity sub-station in Falconwood and not many people know about it. They have a few open days coming up so we can go for a ride, but we'll have to be quick as it looks like they're going to be moved on from this site. I'll have to blog more on this later.

As if I'd not endured enough excitement for one weekend, my trusted source confirmed that the Plumstead Live! music event is for real. This is the icing on the local cultural cake and promises to be a major date in Plumsteadshire's social diary. Hey, it might not be Glyndebourne, but it's here on our doorstep so let's spread the word.

Blue. Yellow.

There's something quite queer going on along the parade of estate agents on Plumstead Common Road. The blue and yellow theme seems to be taking over.

Is this some kind of ruse by the Swedish Intelligence Bureau? Are our Nordic cousins buying up The Shire in readiness for an IKEA take-over? We've all heard how Tesco buy up properties & land for their global gain. Is this the home furnishings equivalent?

Robinson Jackson? The jig is up.

Computer Repairs? I should co-co.

Global Development & Business Services? Your name says it all.

Such is the power of the blue/yellow combo that those who have not complied have been 'OUSTED'. Dear old SJ's Lounge didn't stand a chance with their retro black, silver and red brand identity.

Plumstead Live!

Apparently, there's a live event coming our way in the guise of Plumstead Live! Music Festival. I've held back from mentioning this so far as I'm seeking confirmation that this is a genuine event.

If it's kosher then we should all get really excited about it. There's mention of :-

Plumstead Sinfonia - never knew there was one

Plumstead Manor Musicians - these are real human beings and they definitely exist

The Bill Mudge Quintet - Google (and other well known search engines), confirm that BMQ are real, but I couldn't find Plumstead Live! on their tour schedule.

So, is this a red herring? Maybe Greenwich Council smoke and mirrors to 'bury bad news'?

Is such an event too good to be true? Gadzooks!!!! I hope not.

La Plumsteadshire Biennale

Lorks a lordy. The Shire is slowly becoming the hub of entertainment.

Tonight is the latest One Day Café event. Die Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus (better known as The Pavilion, better known as the rugby club building opposite The Old Mill pub), is hosting a free evening of music and stuff. Doors open at 7pm on the dot.

This Saturday night is the next Comedy On The Common event. As I've reported on many occasions, the Comedy On The Common nights make for a brilliant evening out and it's right here (wouldn't mean much to my lovely listeners in Caracas though).

And to close the 09 Plumsteadshire Biennale we have another Comedy On The Common event. It's the evening of Sunday 26th April at Die Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus.

Phew.

I hear a saw

The 'Shameless' household have been relatively quiet. Maybe it's because I popped round and spoke to them. Maybe my other neighbours have said things to them. I know I'm not the only one to have spoken out.

Last week, they were sawing away one evening. It got darker. Still sawing. It was night. Still sawing.....

....the macabre side of my brain was really hoping to hear a sudden yelp and see the Shameless carrying a severed leg into the house. The compassionate side was hoping just to see a foot.

Something WAS afoot.

"What's he building in there?" I asked myself.

I thought of the eerie Tom Waits song.

It was night-time and he was still sawing and hammering. What's he building in there?

Barking mad 1

I could just about tolerate noises of the boys next door running around the house past 11pm. Completely unacceptable really but I tell myself that at least it doesn't happen on a school night, just to make myself feel better. (God knows what it's going to be like in the school holidays).

I could just about tolerate God knows whatever music they're playing. Acceptable really, but I'd rather be able to rest in the garden without the awful racket.

I could just about tolerate the Staffs barking. Completely unacceptable as it would be for hours and hours on end, but they were in the house and thus I was afforded a little sound baffling.

Now the dogs are left out in the garden and bark all day long. Toddler Pangloss couldn't have his afternoon nap because of it. We couldn't leave our windows open because of it. This lasted from midday until 9pm. As far as I'm concerned it's not the dog's fault; they just want to be with people.

Having come home from work, I went round and spoke to one of the Staff neighbours who was very apologetic and said they'll see to it.... You know when you speak to someone, they reply but you can see in their eyes that there is no meaning behind their words. Well, we'll see if the dogs bark for another 9 hour stint tomorrow.

Bring me a shotgun.

Dangerous dogs

I am absolutely not anti-dog, but I am absolutely against irresponsible dog owners - they need muzzling and then some.

One lovely listener has posted their account of a recent horrible dog incident. Read on and please be pro-active.

Anonymous wrote:-
I had an alarming incident on the Common yesterday evening, round 6.30. Two staff/pit bull-terrier-type dogs, medium tan colour, where off leads near the pond. They came bounding up the steps toward me and my small fluffy dog. The dogs' owners were no where to be seen. I was lucky enough to be able to ward the dogs off with a strong "NO" while at the same time picking up my small fluffy friend and racing up the stairs to get away. I had terrible fears of the two dogs attacking me from behind, which happened only a few months ago to a local resident at the top of Roydene Road.

TO ALL IRRESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS!
You MUST be in control of your dogs, at ALL times, especially if your dog is classified as "dangerous". (pit bulls and pit bull crosses are dangerous and ILLEGAL - why are they still around everywhere!?)

For those out there who have had or are having threatening experiences with dangerous dogs and irresponsible dog owners.. PLEASE be sure to REPORT this to the Safer Neighbourhood Team (SNT): 020 8721 2638 or 07920 0233825
If you don't get answer, leave a message with details of incident. If it is an emergency situation, of course the police are the first port of call.

I just had a long and heartening conversation with the SNT, who took my report of the above incident very seriously and in a lot of detail. The only way they, the dog warden and/or the police can do anything about this problem is if people report such incidents. It is also useful to try to provide any possible information regarding the dog owner(s), including where they might live. This assists the SNT and their colleagues in actually following up and doing something about the problem.

Plumstead Common is a beautiful place, but unfortunately some unpleasant and irresponsible people have the capacity to ruin things for the rest of us. Please help make things better for everyone by being a RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER and also REPORTING those who are not.

Thanks for listening.

Dear Anonymous, thanks for this account and useful phone numbers. I hope you and your dog are OK. And before we get the ooh-Plumstead-is-such-a-hell-hole comments, stories like this crop up all over the country.

Comedy.... yee ha

How could I forget? It's Comedy On The Common night tomorrow. For those not in the know, it's top notch live comedy at the Pavilion, just opposite The Old Mill pub on Plumstead Common. Doors open at 7pm; if you've forgotten to change your clocks then it's 6pm (I think).