Seaside

Driving to Ramsgate, I happened across a sign, 'THANET EARTH'. I just exploded with laughter and envy at the same time. It's a brilliant name and if I were a blogger in Dumpton Gap, I would've been over the moon to have Thanet Earth as my blog name.

I have since searched 'Thanet Earth' on the internet and it seems to be the largest greenhouse ever built since the invention of photosynthesis itself. Wow.

Having arrived at Ramsgate, I managed to park within metre's of Pugin's house; I wanted to pop in but he was out - maybe doing the weekly shop in ASDA¹. Taking an architecture tour wasn't on the agenda so will have to make another visit. I had actually driven to Ramsgate as it was the Summer Squall Arts Festival. I had great plans to take Toddler & Baby Pangloss to a couple of theatre shows, however the weather was quite wonderful, so I decided that we should just muck around on the beach. This was a great idea.

I was very impressed by Ramsgate. It felt small enough so as not feel overwhelmed and the journey was such a quick, easy drive. Minnis Bay is quite near so if I suddenly wanted a really, really quiet time, then not a problem. However, Minnis Bay doesn't have the Pelosi's Ice Cream parlour, or Morelli's which Broadstairs does.


1- Purely artistic license by the author. Pugin may prefer to shop at Waitrose instead.

New book shop

I nearly fell over in Woolwich today. You see, I noticed that a bookshop has opened up in our town centre. Our town centre which is going through a Renaissance; it is quite (im)possibly 'the Westfield of 'Woolwich'.

I digress.

Bookshop.

Oh yes. I was so very shocked that I nearly fell backwards and quite inclined to utter the words, "lorks o Lordy my lorgnettes do deceive me". It is such a great thing to have a bookshop. No, it's not quite Hatchards on Piccadilly, but anything to promote reading is a great thing. WH Smith sell books, but I rarely go upstairs as I usually have a pram and it doesn't like stairs. I have thought about bumping the pram up but would prefer not to re-enact the famous scene from Battleship Potemkin, especially in Woolwich.

I will go in to the bookshop and ask if they have a first edition of Tamburlaine.

Into The Woods

All was quiet in the deep dark woods, a fox saw a ........

I like to take the Toddler Panglosses [hmmm, that doesn't work. Pangloss Toddlers - they sound like farmers from a Pieter Bruegel painting but that's not such a bad thing].

Let's start again, I like to take the Pangloss Toddlers to the woods for a wander. Kicking up leaves, looking out for squirrels, finding pine cones, climbing over fallen trees and of course getting the all-important stick to aid our rambles. It's a really nice way to spend an afternoon.

We went to Oxleas Woods for an adventure and heard rustling. Fox? badger? Gruffalo?

You know when you turn round, see a person and they are acting really guilty? On more than one occasion, we have seen men acting very suspiciously, always walking away from us when spotted. Funny that. I think they were waiting for 'a friend' but we turned up instead; I think we put the willies up 'em.

I will say no more.

Kill, kill, violence, yehhh, grunt

The people next door (I can't call them neighbours as there is nothing neighbourly about them), are indulging in a killing spree. From 7 o'clock last night until past midnight, the young children have been firing machine guns and exploding things on their games console. They can do as they please, but their windows are wide open¹ and all I've been hearing is the noise of death and destruction. Being a hot night, I had to close my windows and still heard it all loud and clear.

I'm fairly amazed the feral scrotes have woken up already as killing for 5 hours must be tiring. Before 10 o'clock this morning, I'm subjected to more of the same.

The Shameless family completely stick out like a sore thumb here. I'm all for integration and a mixed community, but they're not playing ball. What sickens me most is that our taxes are paying for them to continue to lounge around the house all day.

Playing Devil's Advocate, are they actually the smart ones? Why work for a living when you can stare at a TV all day long?

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footnote

1- I've never understood why the Shameless keep windows wide open, even when it reached freezing point in Winter. BTW, they're not stuck open, as they have closed them once in a while.

Charlton House Spa

Most of us lead busy & exhausting lives. It's a hard slog at work and hellish commuting conditions to get back home. So, what better way to wind down than treat yourself to a spa day?


The tranquil setting of The Charlton House Spa offers a hydrotherapy pool, a crystal steam room and other fancy shmancy spa experiences. Back massages and manicures are also on offer.


It all sounds too good to be true. It's true, but this is Charlton House in Somerset.

Vuvuzela

I think I may be one of a majority who have never heard of a vuvuzela before this World Cup. I'm not offended by the trumpeting sound, but after the soccer competition, will it just die away as a footie fad? Let's embrace it.

I think Wimbledon would receive a real lift with the vuvzela on court number one.

Sharapova about to serve for match point. Intense concentration. VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU............

I just about noticed a house behind the flags

Travelling through Welling, I saw this tasteful addition to the English landscape. I actually really like their passion for our team in the World Cup, but don't think they have ever heard the phrase 'less is more'?

If on Wednesday, we drop out from the soccer competition, I guess the roads will be strewn with abandoned little flags torn in disgust from car windows. I fire this warning shot across the bows of Cleansweep so they can prepare themselves in case of extra litter.

Taking stuff out of boxes

I can't imagine life without the internet anymore. Finding out about anything is such a breeze although of course you need to filter out the detritus before you hit gold.

One day, the battery in my car had run flat. Lifting up the bonnet, I couldn't see where it was. Leafing through the owner's manual, I couldn't see where it was. How queer. An internet search gave me the answer. Someone who had my car (well, not my car, but they had the same model), had filmed themselves unbolting bits and moving stuff from the bonnet to reveal the battery. Brilliant. I did as I was instructed and felt the satisfaction of not paying out for a motor mechanic.

There are all sorts of video clips to be found (no tittering at the back), but I don't really get 'unpacking' videos. I've discovered that there are quite alot of these, where people film themselves removing things from their packaging. I think they are gadget geeks.

I was shopping around for a camera, so turned to the internet and found some video reviews (very useful to get real members of the public telling it like it is), then found a video of someone taking a camera out of its' box and holding each item up to the video camera. Nothing more than that. 1) Camera in bubble wrap - woooohooo. 2) Instruction manual - thrilling. 3) A power cable tied with a sandwich bag wire thing - mind blowing.

Such a video is not like the car battery video. It's not instructional. You don't need to think out of the box to open it [I'm really proud of that pun - ed.]

Here, I've found another unboxing video so you can realise that watching paint dry is relatively exciting.

new look

Not a post about the High Street clothing outlet, but the whizzy new look to Plumsteadshire. I guess I'll be tinkering around with the style a little bit, but maybe I won't. We've been very busy at The Shire HQ, which is why the blog has been quiet. Plenty of ideas and things to say, but there just aren't enough hours in a day and all that.

Must try harder - ed.

Manga Flats

I see that the new high-rise block of flats being built next to Plumstead Railway Station is called Akira Heights.

What were the marketing department thinking of when choosing this name? The name Akira is fine although I don't see the link between a Japanese name and our corner of South East London. What I absolutely don't understand is that the Akira Heights branding is linked to the cult Japanese manga animation, Akira. I saw this film quite a few years ago and can remember it being about a motorcycle gang riding at high speed around a kind of post-nuclear war torn Tokyo, explosions and all set to a techno punk soundtrack. Call me old-fashioned, but not what I call aspirational living.

New Bookshop

Today, I nearly fell over in Woolwich town centre. I tripped up on the banana skin of surprise. There is a new bookshop. I know it's very condescending of me to even think 'Woolwich' and 'reading', but I know I won't be the only person to think this.

It's such an excellent addition to the gradual regeneration of Woolwich town centre, the Westfield of Greater East Charlton.

I'm going to pop in and see if they have any first editions of Tamburlaine.

New local resource

Have heard about a new website called Best Of Plumstead. It's choc full of local goodness and all the staff of Plumsteadshire HQ wishes them online success.

Plumstead Make Merry

There has been a very good write up about the Make Merry Festival on The Mirror website. I love the Make Merry and thank the organisers for keeping it going. I don't know its' history but it has a medieval twang about it. With this in mind, I applaud the inclusion of the maypole, Punch and Judy¹ and the terrifying Victorian clown, but would like to see more olde worlde past times such as troubadours, falconry and witch ducking.

Saturday 5th June 12pm onwards

Plumstead Common

Keep 'em peeled

********* Red Alert.... red alert.... *********

I have heard about one or two very, very serious incidents around Plumstead. I've heard that there have been attempts to grab children off the street, and [I think], bundle them into a car. I think this has happened around primary schools, but I don't know if it's happened in the morning or afternoon.

I'm pretty sure the children were without their parents, but don't know if they were alone or with other children.

It's very difficult to report this without being alarmist about it. I don't believe the World has become an uglier place, and do believe such incidents happened when I were a child. I remember being told not to take sweets from strangers. I remember this message from my parents and also learning this from watching TV.

People. Don't go around thinking that every car is suspicious, but just be careful. If I get time tomorrow, I'll contact the Safer Neighbourhood Team to see if they are either aware of it, or ready to hop into their panda cars when called.

Malcolm McLaren

I never did like punk, but oddly I really liked Malcolm McLaren, however I liked his Duck Rock and Paris phases, which weren't punk at all [Dr Pangloss' stream of consciousness blogging, hence contradicting oneself in one single sentence - ed.].

MM passed away today and I feel a tiny loss, which is slightly odd as I've never met him. The two albums mentioned above have been in my record collection for decades and still get played. They've stayed with me as I've moved through different musical phases.

Once, I was on a flight from Charles De Gaulle with MM. I wasn't WITH him, but he was a few rows away, and I just wanted to tell him that I absolutely love Duck Rock. I didn't but always wish I did.

Children's Theatre Festival

I've been meaning to blog about the Greenwich Children's Theatre Festival but something called Easter got in the way. Isn't that a pip?

Sounds like a lot of great children's shows and many happening at The Tramshed in Woolwich Village. Yes, that's pretty much on our doorstep. Wahooo...... Don't know if they're all booked out or not, but worth asking. I have taken a poll around the offices of Plumsteadshire HQ and 'Penguin' comes out on top. It's a brilliant little show with excellent songs. None of that plinky plonky tosh played on a Casio VL-Tone that is just condescending to toddlers. This is the real deal.

Penguin. Thursday 8th April. 11am & 2pm. Tramshed

I really wanted to see Tales From Old Japan, but the requirement of going to work sunk that idea.

This Saturday afternoon promises something special. A puppet show called Panfilo Pipintu will be performed in General Gordon Square and beamed direct to the Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood where Tom Cruise will......

...... oh, my mistake. It will be shown on the big television screen in General Gordon Square. Take a picnic along, sit on the grass and pretend you're at Glyndebourne.

Kapoor's Orbit

I'm a big fan of modern architecture and rather like the work of the sculptor Anish Kapoor, so when I heard that he'd been awarded the commission to create an enormous Olympic tower, my ears pricked up.

Having seen the renders of the tower, I'm actually not too inspired. The tower doesn't say Anish Kapoor to me. Well, there is the trumpet bell shape which was seen at the Tate Modern, and the deep rich red colour, which is a signature of his. That aside, the Kapoorness is dominated by the looping super-structure which is more akin to the steelwork of a modern roller-coaster. I like this in itself, but I don't see it as an Anish Kapoor piece. Given that this tower is sponsored by a steel magnate, it's more like a giant advert for them, saying 'look what we can do!' yet at the same time, riding on the coat-tails of Kapoor's big name in the field of culture.

What I'd like to know is if we'd be able to see it from Plumstead Common. Shrewsbury Lane definitely.

The Doctor is on his way

There is some sort of three day Doctor Who event coming our way to the big television screen in General Gordon Square in Woolwich Village. Come and see exclusive Doctor footage and the new Doctor trailer in 3D!!!! Get free Doctor stuff and meet scary monsters.......wooooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...... but don't mistake old Magwitch in the market for one.

The event will take place from 1st - 3rd April and sounds like a must-see for fans of the Doctor from 5 to 555.

Comedy On The Common

On the subject of live entertainment, it's Comedy On The Common night tonight.

Just in case you don't know the details, click here.

Free music

I thought I'd lug my battery operated portable computer to the Albany Theatre in Deptford. Familia Pangloss are enjoying some Sunday family theatre, but I've got enough work to keep me going 'til pension day so I've settled down in the café.

Have fired up the BOPC and the band are limbering up. It's a Poetry, African vibes fusion. Absolutely mesmeric.

Must get back to work.