Big moon

Doesn't look much different from most decent moon photos, but this is with my camera and without a tripod. It's a big moon tonight.

PCEG hits gold

As some of you are already aware, the Plumstead Common Environment Group have won a Mayor's Safer  Parks Gold Award. The entire team at Plumsteadshire HQ would like to congratulate Nick Day and the PCEG for their unwavering efforts at improving Plumstead Common for us all to enjoy¹.

LX CUE 1 : House lights dim

SOUND CUE 1 : Spandau Ballet - Gold (played to death at conferences)

LX CUE 2 : Scanner lights sweeping all over Plumstead Common

FX CUE 1 : 20minute fireworks display starts with Big Berthas booming off the top of the old mill of The Old Mill pub.

FX CUE 2 : Lasers fire up and draw random shapes on the clouds

ENTER S.R. members of the PCEG in electric cars covered in fake grass and bunting

SOUND CUE 2: Tina Turner - Simply The Best (played to death at conferences)

ENTER S.L. Mayor BoJo and Ant & Dec with trophy in hand to present to the winners

Then we all go home and go to bed.

-

The word on the street though, is that BBC Radio London might be 'doing a piece' on Plumstead Common on their breakfast radio show tomorrow. That's Saturday morning. I normally tune in anyway, so am definitely going to listen in. The Saturday breakfast show is really informative and fun and Simon Lederman, the presenter is a real fan of London. I don't know if Joanne Good still presents on this show, but she is absolutely hilarious and as mad as a box of frogs.

The gold award could look like this

footnote
1 -  Let's not sit back and leave the PCEG to it. They could always do with an extra pair of hands. Be pro-active and join in. Looking for friendship? You never know who you could meet at one of the fence painting days.

There's going to be a Royal wedding!!!!

I've had an exclusive insider scoop. There's going to be a Royal wedding this year. Oh my God, I can't wait. I'm putting on my top hat, tying up my white tie and brushing off my tails.

May I send my heartiest congratulations on behalf of the good people of Plumsteadshire to Harry and Kate. We are jus..... Hang on, there's something afoot. Do my eyes deceive me or is that a picture of Harry?

What the heck, I'll order a box for family and friends anyway.

Time to sweep away crime

When I heard there are sweeping changes coming, I never thought it would hit home so directly.

Over the past year, I've had 3 brooms stolen¹ from my front garden. These aren't a kind of Stradivarius of the cleaning world, but just plain, cheap brooms. I've never had anything else taken, just plain cheap brooms.

It's a bit of a mystery to me. I'll buy another one and booby trap it.

Hardware store shopping list
1x plain cheap broom
1x reel of fishing wire
1x packet of screw eyes
1x vat of boiling hot oil

Can you guess what it is yet?

-

footnote
1- not at the same time

Woolwich regeneration

Even though I have a real camera, I love the lo-fi effects of taking photos on the telephone camera.
Back in the early '90s I had a LOMO camera, which was fantastic. It cost £15 brand new and was quite exciting to take photographs and have little control over the end result. The LOMO has had a bit of a renaissance over the past few years through their film cameras and smartphone apps, which is great as it injects a bit of chance to photography.
I like the thought that we (humans), like to think we can control everything, but actually, we can't, and shouldn't. A bit like that sentence actually.

footnotes1 - There are other photographic developing & printing services available.

Spring is springing

This morning, I leapt out of bed and breathed in the fresh country air of Plumsteadshire. Winter has felt like it's gone on for far too long now and Spring hath arrived at long last. Of course, I had to take a photo of the Common.

Doesn't it look pretty?

Save the Maryon Wilson Animal Park - part the seconde

One lovely listener has sent me a link to the Friends of Maryon Wilson Park website.

http://www.friendsofmaryonparks.org/friends/what-we-do/save-the-animals

See what happened with us giving the Government a hard time about saving the woodlands? They got scared and saw sense (well, that's what I like to think). We can do it with MWP.

please save us

Click on the deer and sign the petition. What the hell, do it again and again with as many false names as you can think of. Turn it into a party game. Theresa Green? Aguerra Dos Latte?

Whatever you do, just don't sit on the fence and watch it disappear.

Dangerous religion

I thought the title of today's blog might stir up some bad feeling, but stick with it.

Last week, I was driving past the wonderful Woolwich Barracks and noticed a white van tail-gating¹ me. 'White van²? Oh what a surprise', thought I. The van proceeded to overtake me on the wrong side of the road, but then I just chuckled to myself as I saw the side of the van.

It had a really long name, something like 'Church of the redeemed something or other blah blah rhubarb'.

Hmmm, driving like he was possessed. Not my idea of kind, loving human being finding his way to the Kingdom of Heaven.

As if that didn't ruffle my feathers, I was riding my bike yesterday and a car was so intent on not letting me join the road that the driver tried to push me into the wrong side of the road. This would be really bad news if I was in a car, but I was on a bike, so let's just quadruple how bad that is. So I just position behind this car and then chuckled to myself as I noticed the Christian fish proudly stuck above the left tail light and a holy message over the right tail light.

I checked my mirrors, signalled, did a lifesaver then overtook. Passing the driver, I said "Peace be with you" or something like that.

footnote
1 - Whilst drivers are being unnecessarily fleeced by speed cameras, little seems to be done about dangerous driving. Drivers tail-gating, people using mobile phones, eating, applying make-up, reading newspapers. I bet we've all had to slam on our brakes to avoid these drivers.
2 - For the record, dangerous drivers can also drive vehicles other than white vans, BMW's for instance.

Feeling thirsty?

Café society could be coming to Plumsteadshire but before we get too excited, let's just cross our fingers.

Spring has sprung

You can tell when the seasons are changing. You can tell that Spring is on its' way. When I lived up North, the arrival of Spring was marked by the appearance of millions of crocuses across The Stray. It were a grand sight.

Walking to Plumstead railway station during the week, I had a vaguely similar sense of the arrival of Springtime. There were warm yellows and intense blues as the new season of estate agent's For Sale signs have popped up. Spring is certainly here.

This morning, I went about my way and breathing in the fresh country air of Spring, I was stopped in my tracks. I came across a large, powerful looking Staffordshire Bull Terrier walking off its' lead. I asked the large, powerful looking owner if it should be on a lead. I don't know what the law states on such things and neither do I know what the code of conduct is amongst responsible dog owners, but I do know this - the dog was off a lead, such dogs have a terrible reputation, and said dog was right outside a primary school, just before 9am and there were lots of children around. This is why I had to speak to the owner.

I didn't expect a charming response and neither did I get one. "Woss it gotta do wiv you wot I do wiv me dog?"........ expletives etcetera.......

I would've quite happily explained that Staffs have a bad reputation, maybe due to the owner rather than the dog, and that such reportage might jangle the nerves of a nation and this could discolour our views of four-legged friends in general ergo he should keep Killer on a lead when innocent victims are aplenty, just to show that as a Staff owner, he shows some civility to others.

However, I have a schedule to keep to so had to leave him to drag his knuckles elsewhere. It makes me sad to think that people can be so instantly aggressive.

Save the Maryon Wilson Animal Park

I love the many green spaces around The Shire, and (as long as there's a Wi-Fi hotspot nearby¹), I love getting down with nature too.

The animal care centre in Maryon Wilson Park is under threat and it must be saved. I've taken Toddler Pangloss to meet and feed the animals many times and we loved it. We are really lucky to live in London and have the privilege of learning about animals. I know we also have Woodlands Farm on Shooters Hill, but that can be a drag to get to if you need to get on buses with a child and a perambulator and a bag of nappies et al.

If you've not been to the Maryon Wilson Animal Park, then go on a Wednesday at 1.30pm. You won't be disappointed.

There's an online petition for everyone to sign and make our virtual voices heard.

Don't make excuses like, I'll do it tomorrow, because you'll forget about it tomorrow. Sign the petition now!!!!

footnote
1- sort of joking

Greenwich Market redevelopment

So it seems our beloved Greenwich Market has been given the green light to be knocked down and built back up again.

Due to my lack of knowledge on this development, I'm reserving judgement at the moment, but on the whole, I'm in favour of letting go of the past and moving forwards with architecture. Having said that, I do love Greenwich Market. I love it for its' faults too. It's ridiculously cramped in peak season but oddly it doesn't bother me. I guess it's like a cranky old car that you know will need care and attention, but you just can't imagine taking to the scrap yard.

The development includes a 104 room hotel, which does cause me some concern as that would be a substantial building, but what does it look like? Having said this, Hopkins Architects are handling this development and they seem to have a sturdy track record in heritage projects. Judging by the computer aided rendition of the future market (see below), there looks to be new timber à la rustique facades around the perimeter, which I really like, but UTTERLY HIDEOUS stretched canopies which look like off-cuts from the Millennium Dome, or the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. I don't mind the tensile structures in the Dome or the QEH, but it really cheapens our World Heritage Site and makes it look like Penge High Street. Hopkins, back to the drawing board on this carbuncular detail please.

In terms of protecting heritage sites, I just don't understand what it means to be a part of a Conservation Area. Also, I think the market has listed building status and more to the point, what it means to be a part of a World Heritage Site.

Surprise newspaper - deuxieme partie

I was joshing about our local Co Op selling the New York Herald Tribune, but today I saw a copy of the International Herald Tribune on the bottom shelf. Well shiver me timbers, in my books that's pretty darn close. The icing on the cake for me would be to see Jean Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg walking down the middle of Plumstead Common Road.

Maybe I'll see how long it'll be until they sell Le Figaro, Corriere della Sera or Buenos Aires Herald.

Ice sculpting

Today, tomorrow and Saturday, there is an ice sculpting festival at Canary Wharf. I love the sound of this. If I manage to go along, I won't expect to see anything to compete with the Harbin Ice Festival, but I'm sure it'll be spectacular nonetheless.

Surprise newspaper

I popped into the Co-op on Plumstead Common Road to pick up a newspaper and by golly I couldn't believe my eyes. Amongst the newspapers was The China Daily, a newspaper from.... well, it speaks for itself really. I was pleasantly surprised as the only time I'd seen it in this country was in a newsagent on Old Compton Street¹.

So what next? The New York Herald Tribune?

footnotes

1 -  Before the smutty comments come pouring in, I was on my way to Joe's Basement. Honest your honour. Hmmm, was going to add a link to Joe's Basement, but now discovered it is no more. It was THE place to go if you had pretence to be a serious photographer, or paparazzi.

Start of the year

I celebrated New Year with a packet of antibiotics and a steaming mug of Lemsip¹. Who said I don't know how to have a good time?

It would seem that I (along with many others), had caught the plague over Christmas and this saw me well into the new year. In fact, only this week do I feel like a human being again. Apart from the usual flu symptoms, I also went off my food and didn't eat anything for 3 days, then the most queer thing happened.... I lost all sense of taste. Not in the sense that I had suddenly developed a penchant for S Club 7  or über cheese - Agadoo. No. I couldn't smell anything or taste any food. Being a glass half full kind of person, I thought it was great that I never knew when a nappy change was called for.

My taste buds did come back, but oddly I was left with a constant metallic taste in my mouth which wasn't particularly nice and after 2 days, it was very annoying.

After 3 weeks of coughing, being dizzy and feeling like my muscles have been vaporised by a Flash Gordon style anti-matter ray gun, I feel like a human being again². So on that note, a belated Happy New Year to all in The Shire.

footnotes
1 - Other cold and flu remedies are available from your local chemist, but go to Temple Pharmacy at The Slade because they're really nice in there.
2 - There were other symptoms, but for the sake of decency, I'll only mention the mentionable ones.

You're hired

On the whole, I don't watch television but The Apprentice has been a must-see for me. Congratulations to local entrepreneur, Stella who has won the big job.

cooking

I don't watch cooking programmes in fact I hardly watch TV at all, but Masterchef looks top-notch with lots of tips towards my first Michelin star.

Plumstead Common in the snow

We were told about the arrival of the snow and it arrived in great style. Here, I had captured a couple photos during a short blizzard burst and really like the slightly Lowryesque quality. The children from the local school were surely having a gay time.

matchstick men

enjoying the snow

Roadworks

The temporary traffic lights on Plumstead Common Road have been causing mayhem. Over the past few days, they have already failed a couple times and been stuck on red. Red means stop, but red on all lights means gridlock and gridlock means irate drivers honking their horns. At 5AM, this means residents get woken up. Here is a photo taken from my bedroom window.

In this age of technological wonder, is it so difficult to produce a pair of traffic lights that work properly? Even I could make up a simple switch so that when one light turns green, the other one turns red. Link it up to a timer and bingo. Set the problem as an ICT project and we're good to go (just like the traffic).

Speaking of gridlock, how long does it take to build a roundabout? Not something the size of the large hadron collider at Cern, but more like a junction between Upper Wickham Lane and Okehampton Crescent in Wellingshire. Children have been conceived and born into this World in the time it has taken to roll out out this circle of tarmac. I just hope the contractors aren't working on a daily rate. Here's a gorgeous photo I have purloined from the incredible Google Streetmap.

Comedy On The Common

Look, now. No, listen missus. 'ere, titter ye not, Comedy On The Common is back in The Shire.

At the moment, there are live comedy events on 6th November and 11th December. These seem like perfect pre-Christmas nights out to warm your cockles. Both dates fall on a Saturday, so treat yourself to an extra glass of sherry at the bar afterwards.

Pirates

It's not every day you can say you saw Johnny Depp, but "I saw Johnny Depp today".

We were on our weekly trip to Greenwich. Over the past couple of weeks, we've seen construction of a film location at the Old Naval College, nothing extraordinary about that, but this encampment is pretty big. There is an enormous marquee just for the costume department and the biggest blue bed sheets I've ever seen; these bed sheets are stretched in the back of shots and will inevitably be painted out in favour of CGI cityscapes. This is all for the new Pirates Of The Caribbean film.
Mr Depp was on set and I was surprised how close I got. Having said that, the Naval College is a pretty busy place and students need to get to their lectures - film crew or no film crew.

Animals

I have a huge backlog of musings and observations of curio's and the queer, but no time to write any of it down. Putting virtual pen to virtual paper at the moment is a real treat, however I must get back to work pretty sharpish.

These subjects must be put on hold:-

• A quest for the ultimate custard tart. It's a sort of suburban version of the Quest for the Holy Grail but without knights, magic, swords, chivalry or a chalice.
• Woolwich Photographic Society and their impact on the Magnum Group
• My concept for a Plumsteadshire Modern Art Museum. You'll like the next bit - 'Tate Common'. I have an amazing concept design which will be revealed in due course.
• My concept for a Plumsteadshire Film Club. You'll like the next bit - 'Splice Island'.
• The best days out for children. All tried and tested by my team of experts.

Having spoken to some lovely listeners, it seems they really want to know more about my so-called neighbours known as The Shameless, the great unwashed, dole scum, soap dodgers, spongers, work-shy etcetera depending on how far they¹ are testing my patience.

This week, I've had to go and ask them to turn down their horrible boom boom music twice. Over the two years they've infested this area, I've probably knocked on their door over thirty times. I've been very close to putting an official complaint to the housing association, but I don't think it fair for them to be uprooted and moved into a faceless council estate where their children might just plummet into a chasm of no hope. Having said that, living here, they just stick out like a maggot ridden bubonic sore thumb. I know it's not exactly Hampstead Garden Suburb here, but they really are a Victorian freak show.

Actually, I have a question. Is there some modern day tribal code that dictates males of the chav genus must only wear underpants when at home²? Similarly, all windows must be kept wide open at all times? When I popped round yesterday, one mutant answered the door in his pants. Maybe it was quite warm? But I remembered whenever I popped round in deepest sub zero last Winter, they were 'dressed' as if they were holidaying in the Seychelles.

footnotes

1 - they, meaning the so-called neighbours, not my lovely listeners

2 - this is a genuine question that I need feedback on

Don't panic!!

If you're in the Woolwich area this afternoon at 4:43pm and hear an air raid siren, don't panic. The Firepower Museum will be sounding a siren to commemorate the start of The Blitz, 60 years ago. On the other hand, if you're reading this blog on a different day then walk calmly to your nearest Anderson Shelter and pray.

If you're young and have no concept of fear, of losing your house, your loved ones and your entire life, then just think for one minute how incredibly lucky you actually are.

This really is quite haunting.

Seaside

Driving to Ramsgate, I happened across a sign, 'THANET EARTH'. I just exploded with laughter and envy at the same time. It's a brilliant name and if I were a blogger in Dumpton Gap, I would've been over the moon to have Thanet Earth as my blog name.

I have since searched 'Thanet Earth' on the internet and it seems to be the largest greenhouse ever built since the invention of photosynthesis itself. Wow.

Having arrived at Ramsgate, I managed to park within metre's of Pugin's house; I wanted to pop in but he was out - maybe doing the weekly shop in ASDA¹. Taking an architecture tour wasn't on the agenda so will have to make another visit. I had actually driven to Ramsgate as it was the Summer Squall Arts Festival. I had great plans to take Toddler & Baby Pangloss to a couple of theatre shows, however the weather was quite wonderful, so I decided that we should just muck around on the beach. This was a great idea.

I was very impressed by Ramsgate. It felt small enough so as not feel overwhelmed and the journey was such a quick, easy drive. Minnis Bay is quite near so if I suddenly wanted a really, really quiet time, then not a problem. However, Minnis Bay doesn't have the Pelosi's Ice Cream parlour, or Morelli's which Broadstairs does.


1- Purely artistic license by the author. Pugin may prefer to shop at Waitrose instead.

New book shop

I nearly fell over in Woolwich today. You see, I noticed that a bookshop has opened up in our town centre. Our town centre which is going through a Renaissance; it is quite (im)possibly 'the Westfield of 'Woolwich'.

I digress.

Bookshop.

Oh yes. I was so very shocked that I nearly fell backwards and quite inclined to utter the words, "lorks o Lordy my lorgnettes do deceive me". It is such a great thing to have a bookshop. No, it's not quite Hatchards on Piccadilly, but anything to promote reading is a great thing. WH Smith sell books, but I rarely go upstairs as I usually have a pram and it doesn't like stairs. I have thought about bumping the pram up but would prefer not to re-enact the famous scene from Battleship Potemkin, especially in Woolwich.

I will go in to the bookshop and ask if they have a first edition of Tamburlaine.

Into The Woods

All was quiet in the deep dark woods, a fox saw a ........

I like to take the Toddler Panglosses [hmmm, that doesn't work. Pangloss Toddlers - they sound like farmers from a Pieter Bruegel painting but that's not such a bad thing].

Let's start again, I like to take the Pangloss Toddlers to the woods for a wander. Kicking up leaves, looking out for squirrels, finding pine cones, climbing over fallen trees and of course getting the all-important stick to aid our rambles. It's a really nice way to spend an afternoon.

We went to Oxleas Woods for an adventure and heard rustling. Fox? badger? Gruffalo?

You know when you turn round, see a person and they are acting really guilty? On more than one occasion, we have seen men acting very suspiciously, always walking away from us when spotted. Funny that. I think they were waiting for 'a friend' but we turned up instead; I think we put the willies up 'em.

I will say no more.

Kill, kill, violence, yehhh, grunt

The people next door (I can't call them neighbours as there is nothing neighbourly about them), are indulging in a killing spree. From 7 o'clock last night until past midnight, the young children have been firing machine guns and exploding things on their games console. They can do as they please, but their windows are wide open¹ and all I've been hearing is the noise of death and destruction. Being a hot night, I had to close my windows and still heard it all loud and clear.

I'm fairly amazed the feral scrotes have woken up already as killing for 5 hours must be tiring. Before 10 o'clock this morning, I'm subjected to more of the same.

The Shameless family completely stick out like a sore thumb here. I'm all for integration and a mixed community, but they're not playing ball. What sickens me most is that our taxes are paying for them to continue to lounge around the house all day.

Playing Devil's Advocate, are they actually the smart ones? Why work for a living when you can stare at a TV all day long?

-

footnote

1- I've never understood why the Shameless keep windows wide open, even when it reached freezing point in Winter. BTW, they're not stuck open, as they have closed them once in a while.

Charlton House Spa

Most of us lead busy & exhausting lives. It's a hard slog at work and hellish commuting conditions to get back home. So, what better way to wind down than treat yourself to a spa day?


The tranquil setting of The Charlton House Spa offers a hydrotherapy pool, a crystal steam room and other fancy shmancy spa experiences. Back massages and manicures are also on offer.


It all sounds too good to be true. It's true, but this is Charlton House in Somerset.

Vuvuzela

I think I may be one of a majority who have never heard of a vuvuzela before this World Cup. I'm not offended by the trumpeting sound, but after the soccer competition, will it just die away as a footie fad? Let's embrace it.

I think Wimbledon would receive a real lift with the vuvzela on court number one.

Sharapova about to serve for match point. Intense concentration. VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU VUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU............

I just about noticed a house behind the flags

Travelling through Welling, I saw this tasteful addition to the English landscape. I actually really like their passion for our team in the World Cup, but don't think they have ever heard the phrase 'less is more'?

If on Wednesday, we drop out from the soccer competition, I guess the roads will be strewn with abandoned little flags torn in disgust from car windows. I fire this warning shot across the bows of Cleansweep so they can prepare themselves in case of extra litter.

Taking stuff out of boxes

I can't imagine life without the internet anymore. Finding out about anything is such a breeze although of course you need to filter out the detritus before you hit gold.

One day, the battery in my car had run flat. Lifting up the bonnet, I couldn't see where it was. Leafing through the owner's manual, I couldn't see where it was. How queer. An internet search gave me the answer. Someone who had my car (well, not my car, but they had the same model), had filmed themselves unbolting bits and moving stuff from the bonnet to reveal the battery. Brilliant. I did as I was instructed and felt the satisfaction of not paying out for a motor mechanic.

There are all sorts of video clips to be found (no tittering at the back), but I don't really get 'unpacking' videos. I've discovered that there are quite alot of these, where people film themselves removing things from their packaging. I think they are gadget geeks.

I was shopping around for a camera, so turned to the internet and found some video reviews (very useful to get real members of the public telling it like it is), then found a video of someone taking a camera out of its' box and holding each item up to the video camera. Nothing more than that. 1) Camera in bubble wrap - woooohooo. 2) Instruction manual - thrilling. 3) A power cable tied with a sandwich bag wire thing - mind blowing.

Such a video is not like the car battery video. It's not instructional. You don't need to think out of the box to open it [I'm really proud of that pun - ed.]

Here, I've found another unboxing video so you can realise that watching paint dry is relatively exciting.

new look

Not a post about the High Street clothing outlet, but the whizzy new look to Plumsteadshire. I guess I'll be tinkering around with the style a little bit, but maybe I won't. We've been very busy at The Shire HQ, which is why the blog has been quiet. Plenty of ideas and things to say, but there just aren't enough hours in a day and all that.

Must try harder - ed.

Manga Flats

I see that the new high-rise block of flats being built next to Plumstead Railway Station is called Akira Heights.

What were the marketing department thinking of when choosing this name? The name Akira is fine although I don't see the link between a Japanese name and our corner of South East London. What I absolutely don't understand is that the Akira Heights branding is linked to the cult Japanese manga animation, Akira. I saw this film quite a few years ago and can remember it being about a motorcycle gang riding at high speed around a kind of post-nuclear war torn Tokyo, explosions and all set to a techno punk soundtrack. Call me old-fashioned, but not what I call aspirational living.

New Bookshop

Today, I nearly fell over in Woolwich town centre. I tripped up on the banana skin of surprise. There is a new bookshop. I know it's very condescending of me to even think 'Woolwich' and 'reading', but I know I won't be the only person to think this.

It's such an excellent addition to the gradual regeneration of Woolwich town centre, the Westfield of Greater East Charlton.

I'm going to pop in and see if they have any first editions of Tamburlaine.

New local resource

Have heard about a new website called Best Of Plumstead. It's choc full of local goodness and all the staff of Plumsteadshire HQ wishes them online success.

Plumstead Make Merry

There has been a very good write up about the Make Merry Festival on The Mirror website. I love the Make Merry and thank the organisers for keeping it going. I don't know its' history but it has a medieval twang about it. With this in mind, I applaud the inclusion of the maypole, Punch and Judy¹ and the terrifying Victorian clown, but would like to see more olde worlde past times such as troubadours, falconry and witch ducking.

Saturday 5th June 12pm onwards

Plumstead Common

Keep 'em peeled

********* Red Alert.... red alert.... *********

I have heard about one or two very, very serious incidents around Plumstead. I've heard that there have been attempts to grab children off the street, and [I think], bundle them into a car. I think this has happened around primary schools, but I don't know if it's happened in the morning or afternoon.

I'm pretty sure the children were without their parents, but don't know if they were alone or with other children.

It's very difficult to report this without being alarmist about it. I don't believe the World has become an uglier place, and do believe such incidents happened when I were a child. I remember being told not to take sweets from strangers. I remember this message from my parents and also learning this from watching TV.

People. Don't go around thinking that every car is suspicious, but just be careful. If I get time tomorrow, I'll contact the Safer Neighbourhood Team to see if they are either aware of it, or ready to hop into their panda cars when called.

Malcolm McLaren

I never did like punk, but oddly I really liked Malcolm McLaren, however I liked his Duck Rock and Paris phases, which weren't punk at all [Dr Pangloss' stream of consciousness blogging, hence contradicting oneself in one single sentence - ed.].

MM passed away today and I feel a tiny loss, which is slightly odd as I've never met him. The two albums mentioned above have been in my record collection for decades and still get played. They've stayed with me as I've moved through different musical phases.

Once, I was on a flight from Charles De Gaulle with MM. I wasn't WITH him, but he was a few rows away, and I just wanted to tell him that I absolutely love Duck Rock. I didn't but always wish I did.

Children's Theatre Festival

I've been meaning to blog about the Greenwich Children's Theatre Festival but something called Easter got in the way. Isn't that a pip?

Sounds like a lot of great children's shows and many happening at The Tramshed in Woolwich Village. Yes, that's pretty much on our doorstep. Wahooo...... Don't know if they're all booked out or not, but worth asking. I have taken a poll around the offices of Plumsteadshire HQ and 'Penguin' comes out on top. It's a brilliant little show with excellent songs. None of that plinky plonky tosh played on a Casio VL-Tone that is just condescending to toddlers. This is the real deal.

Penguin. Thursday 8th April. 11am & 2pm. Tramshed

I really wanted to see Tales From Old Japan, but the requirement of going to work sunk that idea.

This Saturday afternoon promises something special. A puppet show called Panfilo Pipintu will be performed in General Gordon Square and beamed direct to the Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood where Tom Cruise will......

...... oh, my mistake. It will be shown on the big television screen in General Gordon Square. Take a picnic along, sit on the grass and pretend you're at Glyndebourne.

Kapoor's Orbit

I'm a big fan of modern architecture and rather like the work of the sculptor Anish Kapoor, so when I heard that he'd been awarded the commission to create an enormous Olympic tower, my ears pricked up.

Having seen the renders of the tower, I'm actually not too inspired. The tower doesn't say Anish Kapoor to me. Well, there is the trumpet bell shape which was seen at the Tate Modern, and the deep rich red colour, which is a signature of his. That aside, the Kapoorness is dominated by the looping super-structure which is more akin to the steelwork of a modern roller-coaster. I like this in itself, but I don't see it as an Anish Kapoor piece. Given that this tower is sponsored by a steel magnate, it's more like a giant advert for them, saying 'look what we can do!' yet at the same time, riding on the coat-tails of Kapoor's big name in the field of culture.

What I'd like to know is if we'd be able to see it from Plumstead Common. Shrewsbury Lane definitely.

The Doctor is on his way

There is some sort of three day Doctor Who event coming our way to the big television screen in General Gordon Square in Woolwich Village. Come and see exclusive Doctor footage and the new Doctor trailer in 3D!!!! Get free Doctor stuff and meet scary monsters.......wooooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...... but don't mistake old Magwitch in the market for one.

The event will take place from 1st - 3rd April and sounds like a must-see for fans of the Doctor from 5 to 555.

Comedy On The Common

On the subject of live entertainment, it's Comedy On The Common night tonight.

Just in case you don't know the details, click here.

Free music

I thought I'd lug my battery operated portable computer to the Albany Theatre in Deptford. Familia Pangloss are enjoying some Sunday family theatre, but I've got enough work to keep me going 'til pension day so I've settled down in the café.

Have fired up the BOPC and the band are limbering up. It's a Poetry, African vibes fusion. Absolutely mesmeric.

Must get back to work.

Plumstead Live! Deuxième partie

I've had a posting from one lovely listener who is requesting musical talent for this year's Plumstead Live! event (see below). I went along to last year's and thoroughly enjoyed myself, not only that but I also felt really proud to live in The Shire. There are quite alot of people who really care about this little corner of London, and within this community, there are people who drive the way forward and make things happen in Plumsteadshire. We should count ourselves really lucky to have these members of our community, as without them there is no community.

Enough of that. Read on.

Hi everyone,

We are in the early stages of Planning Plumstead Live! which will be held on the 18th July 2010. We are looking for a local professional band to complete the programme. If you have any suggestions please can you email me (at ginaclatworthy@hotmail.com) the name of the band and their website details.

Thanks very much,

Gina

Apple cheese

Lots of people are passionate about cooking; it's something I just can't get into. I understand the journey of creating something incredibly delicious to eat, but I prefer to board the train at the dining table instead.

Whilst having a quick surf, I tripped over the most bizarre fusion of cuisine and (one of my other passions), apples. Well, Apple Inc., well, Steve Jobs, the head of Apple Inc.

Confused? Click here. Be warned, this is bizarre.

Severndroog Castle

Here's some wonderful news to warm our cockles on this fine Spring day.

Severndroog Castle, which is nestled in amongst the trees atop Shooter's Hill, has been awarded a substantial amount of money from the Heritage Lottery Fund to help it down the long road of restoration. The money, £595,000 no less, will go towards the formation of a visitor centre, educational centre and this is the bit I am particularly keen on, a tea room. Well, I find history lessons are so much more palatable over a cup of earl grey and cream bun.

Busta Ablair

The word on the street is that Busta Ship has bought the Ablair shop on Plumstead Common Road. I don't know if this means the sports bar is getting an annexe or if Busta is going to open a decent gastro pub to complement his current establishment. Maybe the hardware store will be brought back to life? Hmm, what could that be called? Busta Screws?

Oh yes, how about Hammer Time? I must contact my brand consultancy to come up with some more.

Swing in to action

There seems to be a children's playground refurbishment programme happening in the area. About time too.

New fencing around the Slade swing-park and I noticed that the refurb work on the Winn's Common playground is in full swing [phew just about managed to shoe-horn an lame pun in there - ed]. I see that the new equipment being installed is the utterly excellent Kompan range; I find them very inventive and superbly designed. The swing parks in Welling have had the Kompan equipment for quite some time, not that I'm saying Greenwich needs to pull their socks up, but I just prefer to let my children play on interesting rust-free equipment in an environment free of broken glass and dogs. Maybe I'm just picky?

Not sure if the Slade equipment will receive an upgrade or not but I would jolly well hope so.

Pop-up Alice

Going to work is a dangerous thing.

I've been working at home recently and it makes sense in so many ways, but that's by the by. For the moment, I'm concerned about going to the office and the pitfalls of being within swiping distance of a chip 'n' pin reader.

Being a nice day, I popped out in my lunch hour [I still stand for my rights to have an hour for lunch and not to eat a sandwich in front of the computer screen. In any case, crumbs in the keyboard is not a good thing]. I ended up in Foyles bookshop - already I had been lured by the Pied Piper of the High Street.

I was looking for a book on business start-ups, but being a tiny branch I had no luck. I only managed 12 feet towards the exit and something caught my eye. A book by the Pope of Pop-Up, the Origami Swami, the one and only Robert Sabuda. The book in question was Alice in Wonderland. I flicked through the display copy and was not disappointed, in fact I'm not ashamed to say that I even gasped in public. Such was the surprise and total magic of Mr Sabuda's extreme paper engineering that I was made to feel like a child again.

I had parted with some hard earned cash and clutched the tome of wonderment and made haste back to the office.

Live music tonight

I have just discovered that the rugby pavilion on Plumstead Common is hosting another evening of live music tonight. As I have a hectic work life and a ridiculously hectic home life, I've missed the last couple of events, and that has also hit my plans for visits to the laughtastic Comedy On The Common nights. Oh for a simpler life.

So, pop down to the Rugby Pavilion on The Common for some fantabulosa live music.

Doors open at 7.30pm and entrance is a paltry £5.00 UK Sterling

iPhone radio

The iPhone is a wonderful gadget and not a bad phone either, but one of my big gripes is the lack of a radio, something I really miss from my old Sony Ericsson.

Fortunately, I've discovered an excellent iPhone application called Tunein Radio. Now I can listen to Gardener's Question Time when I'm out and about. Not only that but I can also listen to radio stations from as far away as Hebden Bridge! Actually, this is internet radio so I can listen to stations from all over the World. It's amazing.

I told my co-worker about it and she searched for her favourite station in Sao Paolo.
Bingo.
We were listening within seconds. I then surfed around sampling radio from all over the globe. Zambia. Hong Kong. Hawaii. Osaka. Didn't know what they were saying but to have a taste of feeling like I'm there in real time is great.

A Three Dimensional World

As any gadget addict knows, the next big consumer must-have is 3DTV; I thought the manufacturers were trying to make them thinner, but that's by the by.

Having watched Avatar in 3D, I thought the effect was OK, but didn't create an immersive environment or enhance the story telling; having a background in experiential design I am probably a harsher critic the most.

Should we ever have 3DTV in our house it could be an interesting experience as things (ie keys or 3D glasses), get moved and hidden by forces unexplained by Arthur C Clarke. Either that or Toddler Pangloss is being playful. I'd expect 3D without the spectacles would be like watching TV with a misaligned aerial.

Much more engaging are 3D books. Pop-books.

Baby Pangloss was given some for his birthday and they keep me amused with the ingenuity of the paper engineering. Adding this simple animation to a book is great and even more so when a character jumps right out at you.

A favourite of mine are books by Robert Sabuda. They're for older children and quite delicate so TP & BP will have to wait. Seek his books out and be prepared for magic.

Toddler Groups

This week, I made a return visit to one of the toddler playgroups that I used to visit whilst I was a full time house dad. It was really nice seeing a few familiar faces and odd-yet-obvious to see that their babies are now walking and asserting themselves; the transition from baby to toddler is such a fascinating one and happens all too quickly.

Making the return visit reminded me of when I first took the reigns of being a full time house dad.

• Feeding - I can handle it
• Sleep deprivation - I'll get used to it
• Reading stories - a good excuse to try out silly voices
• Nappy changing - I can do it with my eyes closed (although not recommended)

It was going to playgroups that gave me the heebie jeebies, having to enter into the realm of mothers. Man alive, you might as well ask me to walk through the bra and knicker department of M&S. It's just not cricket.

Luckily for me, I was never treated as an interloper, just as A.N.Other parent. This was the case for all the groups I went to, and I think I went to them all.

This underlines one of my favourite facets of The Shire, in that it is a friendly little place. Recently, I spoke to a friend whose son lives in leafy St Margarets, near Richmond and is doing the house dad thing and going to playgroups, just as I did. He's been going for several months and the mums have absolutely nothing to do with him. We are not just talking clique city, we are talking castles with battlements and boiling hot oil teetering over the parapets. He doesn't have LOVE and HATE tattooed on his knuckles, nor does he stare at people in a Hannibal Lecter way. He's a regular guy who wants to be proactive in his son's upbringing. It's so very sad.

Non slip

Speaking to one of my trusted sources today, I learnt that you can avoid slipping whilst walking on ice; by pulling a sock over your shoe.

Sounds like a cheap and simple solution, but not one I'll try. The 'Fame! I wanna live forever' look isn't really me. Maybe train operators could wrap socks over train wheels to help ensure prompt time keeping.

You can't find me

Being a busy person and having to travel across the village of London (AKA 'going up West'), every day, I've just downloaded and tried out the Directgov Travel News application for the iPhone.

The reviews of this app. are pretty damning but I thought that it's just people poo-pooing it just because it comes from the big machine that affects everything we think and do..... Simon Cowell. No, the other one. I meant the Government.

Great, commuting will be a breeze. I will know every traffic jam in the country or at least in Central London. The great machine I pay so much tax to is helping to streamline a part of my life. Brilliant.

Unfortunately, it seems the terrible reviews are well deserved. The first thing I do is to let the application find my location. Newcastle upon Tyne. Err no. Just a few miles away from Woolwich. Just a tad.

I don't understand how the Government can get it SO wrong. Tried and tested technology to locate me exists. Sat navs, google maps, tags around ankles of ne'er-do-wells.

Sigh

The Royal Borough of Greenwich

I just read this.

Peter And The Wolf

Apple iTunes has been offering free music, games and stuff as part of its' Twelve Days of Christmas' promotion. Yesterday, it gave away the award winning short animation, Peter And The Wolf. Man alive, I thought Christmas had come early.

I downloaded and have just watched it. An absolutely brilliant adaptation of Prokofiev's musical drama which every child should be brought up with. If the animation isn't your cup of tea (as it's quite a dark version), then do listen to the music, introduce your children to different musical instruments of the orchestra and enjoy a short story at the same time.

Happy new year me dearios.

4,000 trees to be planted

I just read this little article about the 4,000 street trees that will be planted in London. Great news. I'll look forward to a few trees on the vast forecourt outside the Co Op, Spice Island and the carpet shop.

But stap me vitals!!!! This list doesn't seem to include the borough of Greenwich. Surely this is a typo error or has it been decided that Greenwich has enough trees already? Hmmm.

Live music on the Common

There is another live musical happening this Friday evening (16th October). Organised by ye goode folke at One Day Café, the Los Dawsons promise an acoustictastic night of top notch music.

This will be from 7.30pm at the Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus, AKA Plumstead Common Pavilion, AKA Greenwich Rugby Clubhouse.

Legoland

Went to Legoland recently and this vending machine caught my eye. I'd imagine the brick-meisters know what a day trip with children is like.

The Ship verdict

Well done all.

The Ship Council Meeting

One lovely listener has brought to my the attention the Council meeting to discuss The Ship Pub's licensing application. Read on and try to come along.....

Despite the Council stating it sends invitations to and papers for the licensing sub committee a week before, nothing has arrived in the post.

 

HOWEVER, the meeting is going ahead. Here are details for the meeting which is TOMORROW evening, Thursday 8 Oct 2009, 6.30pm

 

Licensing Sub-Committee C
Thursday, 8th October, 2009 6.30 pm

Venue: Rooms 4 & 5, Town Hall, Wellington Street , Woolwich SE18 6PW .

The Ship is item number 5 on the agenda and you can view all the papers relating to that, including numerous objections by local residents by visiting this link:

 

http://committees.greenwich.gov.uk/ieListDocuments.aspx?CId=133&MId=1344

 

PLEASE do try to attend the meeting. Even though there are many objection letters to The Ship’s proposed license variation, it is important that the Council and the Licensing Committee see that the local community are as united now as we were a few years ago, in our opposition to a venue on our Common and in our neighbourhood such as The Ship proposes to be.

Comedy On The Common

The next comedy event in the Shire is this Friday 9th October. It's a cracking evening of live stand-up comedy and it's right on your doorstep. Click here for more information.

Broadband

Here's a quick question to you all.

Broadband providers. I've been here before, but what are your thoughts/experiences with Orange Broadband? Any good? Load of rubbish? Mac compatible? Speed issues? Service interruptions?

Comments gratefully received.

Gottle o gear?

There has been a lively exchange of banter on Plumsteadshire recently, and one of the members of this, Digit_Master has thrown a curve ball at us..... that someone has been writing unseemly comments whilst masquerading as them. How queer.

Of course, I then thought this could be an idea for one of the pages on ROSEBUD, which is the working title of the full fat version of this blog. The idea is of a blog based ventriloquist act. I'm inventing a new word here - ventribloguist. Don't you think it just trips off the tongue? Needs a little working out though.

Mary Whitehouse speaks

OK. I've finally done it. Someone has overstepped the mark and posted something which is utterly offensive, so for the first time, I've erased their post.

I trust that you all to have opinions and that you are self-policing before you post your comments. As you know, I trust you all enough so that I don't have to put a vetting procedure in place.

I'm already getting bored of the foul language that has popped up on recent occasions. The English language is rich enough for you not to use such base words.

Sort it out before I have to flick the censor switch.

The Ship notification

I know there have been umpteen postal strikes this Summer, but I am somewhat disappointed that my letter from Greenwich Council informing me of The Ship's planning application took so long to land on my door mat.

1. The letter is dated 28th August
2. The franked post date on the envelope is 8th September
3. The letter arrived at my door on 14th September
4. The deadline for me to respond to this letter is 17th September. TODAY
   

The Ship

Thanks to one lovely listener who has underlined the deadline date for letters of objection to the Ship's proposal (see below). This Friday! Given the limited time, I'd suggest not to use the postal system, so email or wander down to Woolwich and hand your letter in person.

For a sense of balance, I guess supporters of The Ship should also attend the council meeting when a date is in the diary.

Letters to the council regarding The Ship’s licence application need to be received by the Council by
THIS FRIDAY - 18 SEPT 2009.

In order for your representations/objections to be considered valid, you need to address one or more of the following issues:

- protection of children from harm
- public safety
- prevention of public nuisance
- prevention of crime and disorder

The licensing committee are obligated to safeguard these objectives.

Send your letters and petitions to:

Trading Standards & Licensing
Community Safety & Integrated Enforcement
Riverside House
Woolwich High Street
Woolwich
London SE18 6DN

Or Email:
licensing@greenwich.gov.uk

The meeting at which the application and any representations/objections are to be considered is still to be scheduled. Please keep your eyes and ears open for the date and make sure you COME ALONG if you can.

Back in 2006, there was a record turnout of the local community (along with legal counsel!) at the meeting, which accompanied a phenomenal collective response of the local community objecting to the SAME items that the Ship owner is now requesting AGAIN.
Please, let's all make sure we do the same again, otherwise, all the efforts of 2006, and now, will have been in vain.

Let's not let The Ship a scar our beautiful common, and disrupt our quiet neighbourhood and peaceful local community.

Please don’t be complacent, and write your letter now!!

Meeting about The Ship

One of my lovely listeners has informed me of a meeting to talk about The Ship's proposals. This sounds like a very important meeting for members of The Shire who care about our little patch of London. I guess this is open to all, not just PCEG members. Read on....

There is a PCEG meeting this Sunday 13/9. Anyone concerned about this matter that wants to discuss should come to the meeting!!

Meeting details:
Sunday 13 Sept. 3pm
St Marks Church Hall on Old Mill Road.

Agenda on the website:
http://pceg.org.uk/notice.htm

Be there. Together we can protect our Common, our neighbourbood and our community.

The Ship

I have heard that The Ship pub/bar/cheap beer sports TV emporium has plans to extend licensing hours to 1.45AM at the weekend. Worse still, to extend the alcohol license to the external forecourt. And to allow bottles to be taken outside. Also to allow under 18s in!!!!

They also want to build a 1.9metre high screen (electric fence might be more appropriate), around the forecourt and move the entrance round to Wernbrook Street, yes that's the NICE QUIET RESIDENTIAL street which shouldn't have drunken yoofs staggering around at sleep o'clock waving glass bottles around.

Does this sound like a recipe for disaster? Errrr. It sounds like a complete catastrophe of atomic bomb proportions about to hit Plumstead Common in the face.

I urge everyone to write a letter to the council to object to this. Closing date for objections must be in by 18th September. Don't sit back and think, oh I'll do it tomorrow. Do it now. Stop reading this, get off your computer and do it now. Contact your local councillor, MP etc.

Find out more from the address below:-

Trading Standards & Licensing
Community Safety & Integrated Enforcement
Riverside House
Woolwich High Street
Woolwich
London
SE18 6DN

Telephone - 020 8921 8139
email - licensing@greenwich.gov.uk

ref - The Ship, 205 Plumstead Common Road, SE18 2UJ