Manga Flats

I see that the new high-rise block of flats being built next to Plumstead Railway Station is called Akira Heights.

What were the marketing department thinking of when choosing this name? The name Akira is fine although I don't see the link between a Japanese name and our corner of South East London. What I absolutely don't understand is that the Akira Heights branding is linked to the cult Japanese manga animation, Akira. I saw this film quite a few years ago and can remember it being about a motorcycle gang riding at high speed around a kind of post-nuclear war torn Tokyo, explosions and all set to a techno punk soundtrack. Call me old-fashioned, but not what I call aspirational living.

New Bookshop

Today, I nearly fell over in Woolwich town centre. I tripped up on the banana skin of surprise. There is a new bookshop. I know it's very condescending of me to even think 'Woolwich' and 'reading', but I know I won't be the only person to think this.

It's such an excellent addition to the gradual regeneration of Woolwich town centre, the Westfield of Greater East Charlton.

I'm going to pop in and see if they have any first editions of Tamburlaine.

New local resource

Have heard about a new website called Best Of Plumstead. It's choc full of local goodness and all the staff of Plumsteadshire HQ wishes them online success.

Plumstead Make Merry

There has been a very good write up about the Make Merry Festival on The Mirror website. I love the Make Merry and thank the organisers for keeping it going. I don't know its' history but it has a medieval twang about it. With this in mind, I applaud the inclusion of the maypole, Punch and Judy¹ and the terrifying Victorian clown, but would like to see more olde worlde past times such as troubadours, falconry and witch ducking.

Saturday 5th June 12pm onwards

Plumstead Common

Keep 'em peeled

********* Red Alert.... red alert.... *********

I have heard about one or two very, very serious incidents around Plumstead. I've heard that there have been attempts to grab children off the street, and [I think], bundle them into a car. I think this has happened around primary schools, but I don't know if it's happened in the morning or afternoon.

I'm pretty sure the children were without their parents, but don't know if they were alone or with other children.

It's very difficult to report this without being alarmist about it. I don't believe the World has become an uglier place, and do believe such incidents happened when I were a child. I remember being told not to take sweets from strangers. I remember this message from my parents and also learning this from watching TV.

People. Don't go around thinking that every car is suspicious, but just be careful. If I get time tomorrow, I'll contact the Safer Neighbourhood Team to see if they are either aware of it, or ready to hop into their panda cars when called.

Malcolm McLaren

I never did like punk, but oddly I really liked Malcolm McLaren, however I liked his Duck Rock and Paris phases, which weren't punk at all [Dr Pangloss' stream of consciousness blogging, hence contradicting oneself in one single sentence - ed.].

MM passed away today and I feel a tiny loss, which is slightly odd as I've never met him. The two albums mentioned above have been in my record collection for decades and still get played. They've stayed with me as I've moved through different musical phases.

Once, I was on a flight from Charles De Gaulle with MM. I wasn't WITH him, but he was a few rows away, and I just wanted to tell him that I absolutely love Duck Rock. I didn't but always wish I did.

Children's Theatre Festival

I've been meaning to blog about the Greenwich Children's Theatre Festival but something called Easter got in the way. Isn't that a pip?

Sounds like a lot of great children's shows and many happening at The Tramshed in Woolwich Village. Yes, that's pretty much on our doorstep. Wahooo...... Don't know if they're all booked out or not, but worth asking. I have taken a poll around the offices of Plumsteadshire HQ and 'Penguin' comes out on top. It's a brilliant little show with excellent songs. None of that plinky plonky tosh played on a Casio VL-Tone that is just condescending to toddlers. This is the real deal.

Penguin. Thursday 8th April. 11am & 2pm. Tramshed

I really wanted to see Tales From Old Japan, but the requirement of going to work sunk that idea.

This Saturday afternoon promises something special. A puppet show called Panfilo Pipintu will be performed in General Gordon Square and beamed direct to the Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood where Tom Cruise will......

...... oh, my mistake. It will be shown on the big television screen in General Gordon Square. Take a picnic along, sit on the grass and pretend you're at Glyndebourne.

Kapoor's Orbit

I'm a big fan of modern architecture and rather like the work of the sculptor Anish Kapoor, so when I heard that he'd been awarded the commission to create an enormous Olympic tower, my ears pricked up.

Having seen the renders of the tower, I'm actually not too inspired. The tower doesn't say Anish Kapoor to me. Well, there is the trumpet bell shape which was seen at the Tate Modern, and the deep rich red colour, which is a signature of his. That aside, the Kapoorness is dominated by the looping super-structure which is more akin to the steelwork of a modern roller-coaster. I like this in itself, but I don't see it as an Anish Kapoor piece. Given that this tower is sponsored by a steel magnate, it's more like a giant advert for them, saying 'look what we can do!' yet at the same time, riding on the coat-tails of Kapoor's big name in the field of culture.

What I'd like to know is if we'd be able to see it from Plumstead Common. Shrewsbury Lane definitely.

The Doctor is on his way

There is some sort of three day Doctor Who event coming our way to the big television screen in General Gordon Square in Woolwich Village. Come and see exclusive Doctor footage and the new Doctor trailer in 3D!!!! Get free Doctor stuff and meet scary monsters.......wooooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...... but don't mistake old Magwitch in the market for one.

The event will take place from 1st - 3rd April and sounds like a must-see for fans of the Doctor from 5 to 555.

Comedy On The Common

On the subject of live entertainment, it's Comedy On The Common night tonight.

Just in case you don't know the details, click here.

Free music

I thought I'd lug my battery operated portable computer to the Albany Theatre in Deptford. Familia Pangloss are enjoying some Sunday family theatre, but I've got enough work to keep me going 'til pension day so I've settled down in the café.

Have fired up the BOPC and the band are limbering up. It's a Poetry, African vibes fusion. Absolutely mesmeric.

Must get back to work.

Plumstead Live! Deuxième partie

I've had a posting from one lovely listener who is requesting musical talent for this year's Plumstead Live! event (see below). I went along to last year's and thoroughly enjoyed myself, not only that but I also felt really proud to live in The Shire. There are quite alot of people who really care about this little corner of London, and within this community, there are people who drive the way forward and make things happen in Plumsteadshire. We should count ourselves really lucky to have these members of our community, as without them there is no community.

Enough of that. Read on.

Hi everyone,

We are in the early stages of Planning Plumstead Live! which will be held on the 18th July 2010. We are looking for a local professional band to complete the programme. If you have any suggestions please can you email me (at ginaclatworthy@hotmail.com) the name of the band and their website details.

Thanks very much,

Gina

Apple cheese

Lots of people are passionate about cooking; it's something I just can't get into. I understand the journey of creating something incredibly delicious to eat, but I prefer to board the train at the dining table instead.

Whilst having a quick surf, I tripped over the most bizarre fusion of cuisine and (one of my other passions), apples. Well, Apple Inc., well, Steve Jobs, the head of Apple Inc.

Confused? Click here. Be warned, this is bizarre.

Severndroog Castle

Here's some wonderful news to warm our cockles on this fine Spring day.

Severndroog Castle, which is nestled in amongst the trees atop Shooter's Hill, has been awarded a substantial amount of money from the Heritage Lottery Fund to help it down the long road of restoration. The money, £595,000 no less, will go towards the formation of a visitor centre, educational centre and this is the bit I am particularly keen on, a tea room. Well, I find history lessons are so much more palatable over a cup of earl grey and cream bun.

Busta Ablair

The word on the street is that Busta Ship has bought the Ablair shop on Plumstead Common Road. I don't know if this means the sports bar is getting an annexe or if Busta is going to open a decent gastro pub to complement his current establishment. Maybe the hardware store will be brought back to life? Hmm, what could that be called? Busta Screws?

Oh yes, how about Hammer Time? I must contact my brand consultancy to come up with some more.

Swing in to action

There seems to be a children's playground refurbishment programme happening in the area. About time too.

New fencing around the Slade swing-park and I noticed that the refurb work on the Winn's Common playground is in full swing [phew just about managed to shoe-horn an lame pun in there - ed]. I see that the new equipment being installed is the utterly excellent Kompan range; I find them very inventive and superbly designed. The swing parks in Welling have had the Kompan equipment for quite some time, not that I'm saying Greenwich needs to pull their socks up, but I just prefer to let my children play on interesting rust-free equipment in an environment free of broken glass and dogs. Maybe I'm just picky?

Not sure if the Slade equipment will receive an upgrade or not but I would jolly well hope so.

Pop-up Alice

Going to work is a dangerous thing.

I've been working at home recently and it makes sense in so many ways, but that's by the by. For the moment, I'm concerned about going to the office and the pitfalls of being within swiping distance of a chip 'n' pin reader.

Being a nice day, I popped out in my lunch hour [I still stand for my rights to have an hour for lunch and not to eat a sandwich in front of the computer screen. In any case, crumbs in the keyboard is not a good thing]. I ended up in Foyles bookshop - already I had been lured by the Pied Piper of the High Street.

I was looking for a book on business start-ups, but being a tiny branch I had no luck. I only managed 12 feet towards the exit and something caught my eye. A book by the Pope of Pop-Up, the Origami Swami, the one and only Robert Sabuda. The book in question was Alice in Wonderland. I flicked through the display copy and was not disappointed, in fact I'm not ashamed to say that I even gasped in public. Such was the surprise and total magic of Mr Sabuda's extreme paper engineering that I was made to feel like a child again.

I had parted with some hard earned cash and clutched the tome of wonderment and made haste back to the office.

Live music tonight

I have just discovered that the rugby pavilion on Plumstead Common is hosting another evening of live music tonight. As I have a hectic work life and a ridiculously hectic home life, I've missed the last couple of events, and that has also hit my plans for visits to the laughtastic Comedy On The Common nights. Oh for a simpler life.

So, pop down to the Rugby Pavilion on The Common for some fantabulosa live music.

Doors open at 7.30pm and entrance is a paltry £5.00 UK Sterling

iPhone radio

The iPhone is a wonderful gadget and not a bad phone either, but one of my big gripes is the lack of a radio, something I really miss from my old Sony Ericsson.

Fortunately, I've discovered an excellent iPhone application called Tunein Radio. Now I can listen to Gardener's Question Time when I'm out and about. Not only that but I can also listen to radio stations from as far away as Hebden Bridge! Actually, this is internet radio so I can listen to stations from all over the World. It's amazing.

I told my co-worker about it and she searched for her favourite station in Sao Paolo.
Bingo.
We were listening within seconds. I then surfed around sampling radio from all over the globe. Zambia. Hong Kong. Hawaii. Osaka. Didn't know what they were saying but to have a taste of feeling like I'm there in real time is great.

A Three Dimensional World

As any gadget addict knows, the next big consumer must-have is 3DTV; I thought the manufacturers were trying to make them thinner, but that's by the by.

Having watched Avatar in 3D, I thought the effect was OK, but didn't create an immersive environment or enhance the story telling; having a background in experiential design I am probably a harsher critic the most.

Should we ever have 3DTV in our house it could be an interesting experience as things (ie keys or 3D glasses), get moved and hidden by forces unexplained by Arthur C Clarke. Either that or Toddler Pangloss is being playful. I'd expect 3D without the spectacles would be like watching TV with a misaligned aerial.

Much more engaging are 3D books. Pop-books.

Baby Pangloss was given some for his birthday and they keep me amused with the ingenuity of the paper engineering. Adding this simple animation to a book is great and even more so when a character jumps right out at you.

A favourite of mine are books by Robert Sabuda. They're for older children and quite delicate so TP & BP will have to wait. Seek his books out and be prepared for magic.

Toddler Groups

This week, I made a return visit to one of the toddler playgroups that I used to visit whilst I was a full time house dad. It was really nice seeing a few familiar faces and odd-yet-obvious to see that their babies are now walking and asserting themselves; the transition from baby to toddler is such a fascinating one and happens all too quickly.

Making the return visit reminded me of when I first took the reigns of being a full time house dad.

• Feeding - I can handle it
• Sleep deprivation - I'll get used to it
• Reading stories - a good excuse to try out silly voices
• Nappy changing - I can do it with my eyes closed (although not recommended)

It was going to playgroups that gave me the heebie jeebies, having to enter into the realm of mothers. Man alive, you might as well ask me to walk through the bra and knicker department of M&S. It's just not cricket.

Luckily for me, I was never treated as an interloper, just as A.N.Other parent. This was the case for all the groups I went to, and I think I went to them all.

This underlines one of my favourite facets of The Shire, in that it is a friendly little place. Recently, I spoke to a friend whose son lives in leafy St Margarets, near Richmond and is doing the house dad thing and going to playgroups, just as I did. He's been going for several months and the mums have absolutely nothing to do with him. We are not just talking clique city, we are talking castles with battlements and boiling hot oil teetering over the parapets. He doesn't have LOVE and HATE tattooed on his knuckles, nor does he stare at people in a Hannibal Lecter way. He's a regular guy who wants to be proactive in his son's upbringing. It's so very sad.

Non slip

Speaking to one of my trusted sources today, I learnt that you can avoid slipping whilst walking on ice; by pulling a sock over your shoe.

Sounds like a cheap and simple solution, but not one I'll try. The 'Fame! I wanna live forever' look isn't really me. Maybe train operators could wrap socks over train wheels to help ensure prompt time keeping.

You can't find me

Being a busy person and having to travel across the village of London (AKA 'going up West'), every day, I've just downloaded and tried out the Directgov Travel News application for the iPhone.

The reviews of this app. are pretty damning but I thought that it's just people poo-pooing it just because it comes from the big machine that affects everything we think and do..... Simon Cowell. No, the other one. I meant the Government.

Great, commuting will be a breeze. I will know every traffic jam in the country or at least in Central London. The great machine I pay so much tax to is helping to streamline a part of my life. Brilliant.

Unfortunately, it seems the terrible reviews are well deserved. The first thing I do is to let the application find my location. Newcastle upon Tyne. Err no. Just a few miles away from Woolwich. Just a tad.

I don't understand how the Government can get it SO wrong. Tried and tested technology to locate me exists. Sat navs, google maps, tags around ankles of ne'er-do-wells.

Sigh

The Royal Borough of Greenwich

I just read this.

Peter And The Wolf

Apple iTunes has been offering free music, games and stuff as part of its' Twelve Days of Christmas' promotion. Yesterday, it gave away the award winning short animation, Peter And The Wolf. Man alive, I thought Christmas had come early.

I downloaded and have just watched it. An absolutely brilliant adaptation of Prokofiev's musical drama which every child should be brought up with. If the animation isn't your cup of tea (as it's quite a dark version), then do listen to the music, introduce your children to different musical instruments of the orchestra and enjoy a short story at the same time.

Happy new year me dearios.

4,000 trees to be planted

I just read this little article about the 4,000 street trees that will be planted in London. Great news. I'll look forward to a few trees on the vast forecourt outside the Co Op, Spice Island and the carpet shop.

But stap me vitals!!!! This list doesn't seem to include the borough of Greenwich. Surely this is a typo error or has it been decided that Greenwich has enough trees already? Hmmm.

Live music on the Common

There is another live musical happening this Friday evening (16th October). Organised by ye goode folke at One Day Café, the Los Dawsons promise an acoustictastic night of top notch music.

This will be from 7.30pm at the Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus, AKA Plumstead Common Pavilion, AKA Greenwich Rugby Clubhouse.

Legoland

Went to Legoland recently and this vending machine caught my eye. I'd imagine the brick-meisters know what a day trip with children is like.

The Ship verdict

Well done all.

The Ship Council Meeting

One lovely listener has brought to my the attention the Council meeting to discuss The Ship Pub's licensing application. Read on and try to come along.....

Despite the Council stating it sends invitations to and papers for the licensing sub committee a week before, nothing has arrived in the post.

 

HOWEVER, the meeting is going ahead. Here are details for the meeting which is TOMORROW evening, Thursday 8 Oct 2009, 6.30pm

 

Licensing Sub-Committee C
Thursday, 8th October, 2009 6.30 pm

Venue: Rooms 4 & 5, Town Hall, Wellington Street , Woolwich SE18 6PW .

The Ship is item number 5 on the agenda and you can view all the papers relating to that, including numerous objections by local residents by visiting this link:

 

http://committees.greenwich.gov.uk/ieListDocuments.aspx?CId=133&MId=1344

 

PLEASE do try to attend the meeting. Even though there are many objection letters to The Ship’s proposed license variation, it is important that the Council and the Licensing Committee see that the local community are as united now as we were a few years ago, in our opposition to a venue on our Common and in our neighbourhood such as The Ship proposes to be.

Comedy On The Common

The next comedy event in the Shire is this Friday 9th October. It's a cracking evening of live stand-up comedy and it's right on your doorstep. Click here for more information.

Broadband

Here's a quick question to you all.

Broadband providers. I've been here before, but what are your thoughts/experiences with Orange Broadband? Any good? Load of rubbish? Mac compatible? Speed issues? Service interruptions?

Comments gratefully received.

Gottle o gear?

There has been a lively exchange of banter on Plumsteadshire recently, and one of the members of this, Digit_Master has thrown a curve ball at us..... that someone has been writing unseemly comments whilst masquerading as them. How queer.

Of course, I then thought this could be an idea for one of the pages on ROSEBUD, which is the working title of the full fat version of this blog. The idea is of a blog based ventriloquist act. I'm inventing a new word here - ventribloguist. Don't you think it just trips off the tongue? Needs a little working out though.

Mary Whitehouse speaks

OK. I've finally done it. Someone has overstepped the mark and posted something which is utterly offensive, so for the first time, I've erased their post.

I trust that you all to have opinions and that you are self-policing before you post your comments. As you know, I trust you all enough so that I don't have to put a vetting procedure in place.

I'm already getting bored of the foul language that has popped up on recent occasions. The English language is rich enough for you not to use such base words.

Sort it out before I have to flick the censor switch.

The Ship notification

I know there have been umpteen postal strikes this Summer, but I am somewhat disappointed that my letter from Greenwich Council informing me of The Ship's planning application took so long to land on my door mat.

1. The letter is dated 28th August
2. The franked post date on the envelope is 8th September
3. The letter arrived at my door on 14th September
4. The deadline for me to respond to this letter is 17th September. TODAY
   

The Ship

Thanks to one lovely listener who has underlined the deadline date for letters of objection to the Ship's proposal (see below). This Friday! Given the limited time, I'd suggest not to use the postal system, so email or wander down to Woolwich and hand your letter in person.

For a sense of balance, I guess supporters of The Ship should also attend the council meeting when a date is in the diary.

Letters to the council regarding The Ship’s licence application need to be received by the Council by
THIS FRIDAY - 18 SEPT 2009.

In order for your representations/objections to be considered valid, you need to address one or more of the following issues:

- protection of children from harm
- public safety
- prevention of public nuisance
- prevention of crime and disorder

The licensing committee are obligated to safeguard these objectives.

Send your letters and petitions to:

Trading Standards & Licensing
Community Safety & Integrated Enforcement
Riverside House
Woolwich High Street
Woolwich
London SE18 6DN

Or Email:
licensing@greenwich.gov.uk

The meeting at which the application and any representations/objections are to be considered is still to be scheduled. Please keep your eyes and ears open for the date and make sure you COME ALONG if you can.

Back in 2006, there was a record turnout of the local community (along with legal counsel!) at the meeting, which accompanied a phenomenal collective response of the local community objecting to the SAME items that the Ship owner is now requesting AGAIN.
Please, let's all make sure we do the same again, otherwise, all the efforts of 2006, and now, will have been in vain.

Let's not let The Ship a scar our beautiful common, and disrupt our quiet neighbourhood and peaceful local community.

Please don’t be complacent, and write your letter now!!

Meeting about The Ship

One of my lovely listeners has informed me of a meeting to talk about The Ship's proposals. This sounds like a very important meeting for members of The Shire who care about our little patch of London. I guess this is open to all, not just PCEG members. Read on....

There is a PCEG meeting this Sunday 13/9. Anyone concerned about this matter that wants to discuss should come to the meeting!!

Meeting details:
Sunday 13 Sept. 3pm
St Marks Church Hall on Old Mill Road.

Agenda on the website:
http://pceg.org.uk/notice.htm

Be there. Together we can protect our Common, our neighbourbood and our community.

The Ship

I have heard that The Ship pub/bar/cheap beer sports TV emporium has plans to extend licensing hours to 1.45AM at the weekend. Worse still, to extend the alcohol license to the external forecourt. And to allow bottles to be taken outside. Also to allow under 18s in!!!!

They also want to build a 1.9metre high screen (electric fence might be more appropriate), around the forecourt and move the entrance round to Wernbrook Street, yes that's the NICE QUIET RESIDENTIAL street which shouldn't have drunken yoofs staggering around at sleep o'clock waving glass bottles around.

Does this sound like a recipe for disaster? Errrr. It sounds like a complete catastrophe of atomic bomb proportions about to hit Plumstead Common in the face.

I urge everyone to write a letter to the council to object to this. Closing date for objections must be in by 18th September. Don't sit back and think, oh I'll do it tomorrow. Do it now. Stop reading this, get off your computer and do it now. Contact your local councillor, MP etc.

Find out more from the address below:-

Trading Standards & Licensing
Community Safety & Integrated Enforcement
Riverside House
Woolwich High Street
Woolwich
London
SE18 6DN

Telephone - 020 8921 8139
email - licensing@greenwich.gov.uk

ref - The Ship, 205 Plumstead Common Road, SE18 2UJ

Me

I've been a paid-up member of the Apple Mac fan club for over a decade. Oh, how OS 8 looked so quaint. Halcyon days.

This year, I thought I'd try mobileme. My foray into cloud computing.

[21:54hrs. Ooh. What sounded like a low flying Chinook passed over Plumsteadshire. This is with reference to one of Plummy Mummy's recent posts - ed.]

Back to the story.

Cloud computing.

I'm not convinced with mobileme. I find it painfully slow and that's not my idea of productivity. On the plus side, I really like syncing all my stuff so I can see my email, contacts and diary at work, but this is pretty fundamental. I also find it intuitive to use, as I would expect from an Apple product.

Well, unless the speed picks up, I'm definitely veering towards ditching it at the end of my year.

Greenwich Council is far too late

I'm extremely disappointed that most of the events that I was interested in this weekend have already been sold out. I keep my eye out all the time for interesting days out and all that, but only came across the Open Weekend events through the Greenwich Council email alert, which I received this afternoon.

I was interested in a piece of theatre at Charlton House on Sunday. It's free. Bonus. When I phoned up, I was told it was sold out. A fat load of good alerting me to events I can't attend.

Ditto for the free Blow Up event in Maryon Park. No mention of requiring a ticket so I never booked it. Sold Out.

I'd like decent publicity for all these great events. Given that I work for a living, I don't have much spare time to stroll into my library or council office and browse the local events boards.

A busy weekend

The more observant of you will have noticed a countdown timer on Plumsteadshire. It is linked to atomic clocks on Easter Island, Jodrell Bank and Bryn Terfel's Barber Shop on Dallin Road.

We are counting down to 'Plumstead Live!', the premier cultural event on Plumsteadshire's calendar. Looking at the weather forecast, the weekend looks like it'll be nice and sunny for the concert. Keep yourselves free on Sunday 26th July between 3pm - 8pm and come to Winns Common. Spread the word, bring a friend. What the hell, even bring the family too.

There is a very exciting event this Saturday. It's called The Great 'Blow Up' Party In The Park. It's in Maryon Park and forms part of the Greenwich Film Festival. There are tours of the locations used in the film. Shaky bush number 1. Shaky bush number 2 etcetera as well as other goings-on culminating in an outdoor showing of the famous '60s film.

Before you get too excited, do check with the organiser's of the Greenwich Film Festival as the Greenwich Council website has noted that this event has been SOLD OUT. The promotional leaflet I have has no mention of it being a ticketed event, so do double check and if anyone has confirmation of this, please do let us know by posting a comment at the bottom of this blog post.

On Friday (tomorrow), evening there is a similar event at the Well Hall Pleasaunce in Eltham. This time it's the The Railway Children. I don't think there will be tours of famous herbaceous borders, but there definitely will be an outdoor showing of said film.

Share and share alike

When my close personal aides, Margaret and Nick are out of the country, I seek advice from a friend. He is a marketing genius, he is a man who fights fire with fire, he sees lights turn on before the switch has flicked, he wears the same watch as Steve Wozniak, he is The Stig of global branding. He goes by the code name 'Deep Throat'.

Deep Throat read about The Woodman dilemma we have in The Shire. In the dead of night, he phoned me. I pick up the receiver and he says, "www.wooshare.com", then gently puts the phone down. From his SAS training, he knows to get straight to the point.

Maybe this is a way forward for the future of The Woodman?

Komedie Nacht

Oi va voi!!!! How did it slip my mind that tomorrow night is comedy night at the Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus und bierkeller.

Doors open at 7pm

Pay £7.00 on the door

Have a glass of Quinta do Vesuvio, kick your Testoni's off and let the comedy wave your working week away.

mobile phone directory

You may already have heard about this but early next week all UK mobiles will be on a directory which will mean that anyone will be able to access your numbers. It’s easy to unsubscribe but it must be done before the beginning of next week to make sure that you are ex-directory. You may want to suggest it to all your friends and family who have UK mobiles or they could be swamped by unsolicited messages and calls. Removal is recommended by the dear old Auntie BBC.

To remove your number click on the link below, you need your mobile
phone with you to do this as they text you a code

1, http://www.118800.co.uk/

2, Click on ‘Ex Directory’ at top right hand side of page, from
there it’s straight forward.

The Woodman is our big opportunity

One lovely listener has pointed out that The Woodman pub is up for sale. I can confirm this as I sent my aides, Margaret and Nick to take a look. The pub will be sold at auction very soon (this week I think), and has a guide price of around £175,000. I don't know what the sale includes, but a pub overlooking The Common with lacklustre competition sounds a bit of a snip to me. This could be our best chance of a decent gastro-pub. The local demographic is shifting and the demand is definitely here. If I had the resources, I'd be sitting in an auction room with a very twitchy arm.

Extraordinary tennis

I don't follow sport. I don't have the time for it, nor do I want to go through the angst that work colleagues push themselves through every Saturday afternoon; seeing their minor depressions on a Monday morning as their team obviously lost at the weekend. I just don't have the nerve to say, "it's just a bloomin' game. Get over it" as I know that to them it's not just a game, it's a way of life. In a very tiny way, I envy that they know every single statistic to every game of their football team over the past two decades. I don't envy what they know, but the fact that they remember stuff. I'm sure that since becoming a parent, my memory has stopped working. I tell myself that my brain has decided to readjust and work in a very different way - maybe it's a denial of anything like dementia creeping in really early. Where was I? Oh yes....... I don't follow sport.

I don't follow sport, but I was channel flicking on the TV and came across wheelchair tennis!!!! Back in the day when I had time to watch a whole TV programme, I'd treat myself to 'Transworld Sport' on Channel 4 on Saturday mornings. It was great to learn about the Jamaican bob-sled team (it's true), or utterly queer contests in the Far East, but man alive wheelchair tennis left me gob-smacked. Their serves looked pretty fast, but how can you serve when seated? I can't serve when standing up!!?!* So the ball made it over the net and the opponent knocked it back, but then to get back in position on the court, they'd wheel around in swirls which was completely balletic. Truly amazing. You can keep your Anita Roddicks and your Federererers and your Williamses. Brute force and power serves are SO last year. Wheelchair tennis needs more coverage.

Corpsing on air

Listening to the crystal set yesterday, I was enjoying the weather forecast when the weatherman suffered a slip of he tongue. I had to cover my ears in the hope of not hearing any more colourful language however this left him in fits of laughter on air. Real Denis Norden stuff.

telephone service

I'd just like to ask if anyone knows of an alternative (and reliable), supplier for a telephone/broadband service. I'm with BT at the moment and paying a lot of money just for the standing charge.

Thanks in advance.

Plumstead Radical Club

My partner in crime has pointed me in the direction of the Plumstead Radical Club; the jazz band, rather than the imposing building opposite Plumstead Railway Station.

I've had a listen and instantly addicted. I've listened to the track 'One Way' again and again just like I'd taped it off the Top 40 on the wireless. The Plumstead Radical Club have an album out called The Coast Is Clear and I'm sure it's available in your local record store. Well, they don't really exist anymore so it'll be a trip up to Rays Jazz Store. Ahh. That doesn't really exist anymore either. It's now just tucked away in Foyles Bookshop. In my humble opinion, just not a proper record shop.

Well, I don't know if the jazz band are from this leafy suburb or not, but I'd like to know more about them. I must do the modern thing and buy their album on iTu........ Hmmmmm. Interesting. I typed Plumstead into iTunes, hoping to find jazz, but instead am watching a handful of Open University programmes about our dear Plumstead constabulary.

Well, if the PRC are local musicians then I wonder if they're taking part in the Plumstead Live! event. I do hope so.

Catch That Train

My post bag has been bulging this week with requests for information about a train I recently mentioned. That being the one near Falconwood.

Well, it sounds like a bit of an unknown gem in these here parts o' the shire.

The train is run by the Welling & District M.E.S. (model engineering society to us common folk), and it sounds like they'll be evicted from the Falconwood site next year. Boo. Here are the open days:-

14th & 28th June 2009

12th & 26th July 2009

9th & 23rd August 2009

6th & 20th September 2009

4th October 2009

They aren't open the public apart from these dates, so do go along sooner rather than later as you know you'll just keep saying 'ah, I'll go next fortnight', and so on and so on until it's 5th October and that's it. Gone forever.

On these days, they open between 2pm - 5pm. Last orders at 4.30pm.

Here's a funny new-fangled map to locate the train.

View Welling & District M.E.S. in a larger map

iPhone 3G S

The new generation of the gadget of all gadgets, the one and only iPhone, has been announced. The iPhone 3G S. It pretty much follows the rumours that have been bandied around on the blogosphere and maybe that is why I'm still slightly under-whelmed.

The trouble with technology is that it advances so quickly that it's hard to keep up. In trying to keep up, we expect the next big thing to leapfrog the last big thing, well I do anyway. Given that there are phones out there packing 8 mega pixel cameras and the 3G S offers just 3 is one disappointment; one key reason for me to have held back from spending lots of cash and changing phone provider. Even so, I'll have to remind myself one thing. Rather than judging the iPhone on the amount of features and how it'll fare against the competition, I'll appraise it's usefulness for my needs.

1. A good quality phone. tick
2. Speakerphone. tick. Great for being kept on hold by call centres
3. Camera. Uh er. I'll just have to buy a cheap small digital camera
4. Synchronise with my Mac. tick
5. On the go internet. tick. So I can be more spontaneous with blogging
6. Reliability. tick. If it runs as smoothly as my Mac then all's good

I'm not keen on the polished finish though. I like my current phone because I can throw it in my bag and not worry about it getting scuffed. For me, the thing is to be used, not a fashion statement.

A vibrant part of suburbia

I had a really pleasant and eventful weekend. Normally, we'd be day-tripping to far off lands in deepest Kent and Sussex but this weekend was purely Plumsteadshire. Of course, Saturday was the Make Merry, an event which I feel should be more reminiscent of maypoles, sheep driving and smocks rather than a parade of unmuzzled dogs. However, I really like the utterly terrifying clowns which look like they hail from an Edwardian side-show.

Being a key part of the local social calendar, I bumped into alot of friends at the Make Merry and it was this feeling of a community hub that makes the Make Merry special and essential.

In the evening, I went to the comedy night at The Pavilion (AKA the rugby club), and it was an utterly brilliant night out. The comedians were top notch and the audience were very receptive. I really do love the Pavilion space as it's intimate and you're engaged with the performers. I can see it working as a film club venue. I'll try and look into the viability of this idea. My idea is not for another outlet for mainstream Hollywood tosh, but to screen classics, Saturday morning Laurel and Hardy children's club, Woody Allen Wednesdays, David Lean Sundays. Might be cost prohibitive, but you get the idea.

Today, I went to the model railway exhibition at the Firepower Museum. I've never been into trains but I think I might be coming out of the locomotive closet. I thought the model railways were incredible and with immense attention to detail, the scenery told many stories beyond just a train circling a village. Best of all though, I'd discovered a small scale railway which you can actually ride on. It's round the back of an electricity sub-station in Falconwood and not many people know about it. They have a few open days coming up so we can go for a ride, but we'll have to be quick as it looks like they're going to be moved on from this site. I'll have to blog more on this later.

As if I'd not endured enough excitement for one weekend, my trusted source confirmed that the Plumstead Live! music event is for real. This is the icing on the local cultural cake and promises to be a major date in Plumsteadshire's social diary. Hey, it might not be Glyndebourne, but it's here on our doorstep so let's spread the word.

Blue. Yellow.

There's something quite queer going on along the parade of estate agents on Plumstead Common Road. The blue and yellow theme seems to be taking over.

Is this some kind of ruse by the Swedish Intelligence Bureau? Are our Nordic cousins buying up The Shire in readiness for an IKEA take-over? We've all heard how Tesco buy up properties & land for their global gain. Is this the home furnishings equivalent?

Robinson Jackson? The jig is up.

Computer Repairs? I should co-co.

Global Development & Business Services? Your name says it all.

Such is the power of the blue/yellow combo that those who have not complied have been 'OUSTED'. Dear old SJ's Lounge didn't stand a chance with their retro black, silver and red brand identity.

Plumstead Live!

Apparently, there's a live event coming our way in the guise of Plumstead Live! Music Festival. I've held back from mentioning this so far as I'm seeking confirmation that this is a genuine event.

If it's kosher then we should all get really excited about it. There's mention of :-

Plumstead Sinfonia - never knew there was one

Plumstead Manor Musicians - these are real human beings and they definitely exist

The Bill Mudge Quintet - Google (and other well known search engines), confirm that BMQ are real, but I couldn't find Plumstead Live! on their tour schedule.

So, is this a red herring? Maybe Greenwich Council smoke and mirrors to 'bury bad news'?

Is such an event too good to be true? Gadzooks!!!! I hope not.

La Plumsteadshire Biennale

Lorks a lordy. The Shire is slowly becoming the hub of entertainment.

Tonight is the latest One Day Café event. Die Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus (better known as The Pavilion, better known as the rugby club building opposite The Old Mill pub), is hosting a free evening of music and stuff. Doors open at 7pm on the dot.

This Saturday night is the next Comedy On The Common event. As I've reported on many occasions, the Comedy On The Common nights make for a brilliant evening out and it's right here (wouldn't mean much to my lovely listeners in Caracas though).

And to close the 09 Plumsteadshire Biennale we have another Comedy On The Common event. It's the evening of Sunday 26th April at Die Plumsteadshire Festspielhaus.

Phew.

I hear a saw

The 'Shameless' household have been relatively quiet. Maybe it's because I popped round and spoke to them. Maybe my other neighbours have said things to them. I know I'm not the only one to have spoken out.

Last week, they were sawing away one evening. It got darker. Still sawing. It was night. Still sawing.....

....the macabre side of my brain was really hoping to hear a sudden yelp and see the Shameless carrying a severed leg into the house. The compassionate side was hoping just to see a foot.

Something WAS afoot.

"What's he building in there?" I asked myself.

I thought of the eerie Tom Waits song.

It was night-time and he was still sawing and hammering. What's he building in there?

Barking mad 1

I could just about tolerate noises of the boys next door running around the house past 11pm. Completely unacceptable really but I tell myself that at least it doesn't happen on a school night, just to make myself feel better. (God knows what it's going to be like in the school holidays).

I could just about tolerate God knows whatever music they're playing. Acceptable really, but I'd rather be able to rest in the garden without the awful racket.

I could just about tolerate the Staffs barking. Completely unacceptable as it would be for hours and hours on end, but they were in the house and thus I was afforded a little sound baffling.

Now the dogs are left out in the garden and bark all day long. Toddler Pangloss couldn't have his afternoon nap because of it. We couldn't leave our windows open because of it. This lasted from midday until 9pm. As far as I'm concerned it's not the dog's fault; they just want to be with people.

Having come home from work, I went round and spoke to one of the Staff neighbours who was very apologetic and said they'll see to it.... You know when you speak to someone, they reply but you can see in their eyes that there is no meaning behind their words. Well, we'll see if the dogs bark for another 9 hour stint tomorrow.

Bring me a shotgun.

Dangerous dogs

I am absolutely not anti-dog, but I am absolutely against irresponsible dog owners - they need muzzling and then some.

One lovely listener has posted their account of a recent horrible dog incident. Read on and please be pro-active.

Anonymous wrote:-
I had an alarming incident on the Common yesterday evening, round 6.30. Two staff/pit bull-terrier-type dogs, medium tan colour, where off leads near the pond. They came bounding up the steps toward me and my small fluffy dog. The dogs' owners were no where to be seen. I was lucky enough to be able to ward the dogs off with a strong "NO" while at the same time picking up my small fluffy friend and racing up the stairs to get away. I had terrible fears of the two dogs attacking me from behind, which happened only a few months ago to a local resident at the top of Roydene Road.

TO ALL IRRESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS!
You MUST be in control of your dogs, at ALL times, especially if your dog is classified as "dangerous". (pit bulls and pit bull crosses are dangerous and ILLEGAL - why are they still around everywhere!?)

For those out there who have had or are having threatening experiences with dangerous dogs and irresponsible dog owners.. PLEASE be sure to REPORT this to the Safer Neighbourhood Team (SNT): 020 8721 2638 or 07920 0233825
If you don't get answer, leave a message with details of incident. If it is an emergency situation, of course the police are the first port of call.

I just had a long and heartening conversation with the SNT, who took my report of the above incident very seriously and in a lot of detail. The only way they, the dog warden and/or the police can do anything about this problem is if people report such incidents. It is also useful to try to provide any possible information regarding the dog owner(s), including where they might live. This assists the SNT and their colleagues in actually following up and doing something about the problem.

Plumstead Common is a beautiful place, but unfortunately some unpleasant and irresponsible people have the capacity to ruin things for the rest of us. Please help make things better for everyone by being a RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER and also REPORTING those who are not.

Thanks for listening.

Dear Anonymous, thanks for this account and useful phone numbers. I hope you and your dog are OK. And before we get the ooh-Plumstead-is-such-a-hell-hole comments, stories like this crop up all over the country.

Comedy.... yee ha

How could I forget? It's Comedy On The Common night tomorrow. For those not in the know, it's top notch live comedy at the Pavilion, just opposite The Old Mill pub on Plumstead Common. Doors open at 7pm; if you've forgotten to change your clocks then it's 6pm (I think).

Scourge of society

Before I mark my return with a review of my latest custard tart tasting, I really need some advice.

Not being a dog owner, I'd just like to know what the acceptable time limit is on leaving your beloved pet to bark. The knuckle-draggers who've moved in next door seem quite happy to leave their Staffs to bark for over 4hours. This evening the poor mutts have been barking away for at least 2hours, but as I only arrived back home two hours ago, it could've been all day. The dog must be hoarse by now.

I thought the neighbours must be out drinking White Lightning at The Ship, but the soap-dodgers are actually in, although choosing to ignore the dogs.

On the subject of the biggest mistake in the history of Plumstead Common AKA The Ship, given that this is a conservation area, are there no rules as to how many adverts you can put up on the building exterior? Cheap beer and satellite sports. Errr, yeh mate I fink I get der message. The Ship is so tasteless it makes me physically sick.

In some ways, this would be so much more preferable.

On a wing and a prayer

I notice that a travel agent is opening up shop along Plumstead Common Road. My spies also tell me that it is a Christian travel agent; I've never heard of those before. I don't know what sets it apart from a secular travel agent. Will they not book flights for atheists?

I get the concept of Christian bookshops but may have to pop into the travel agent and see how they differ from Thomas Cook or Wellers.

Museum of London Docklands

Toddler Pangloss and I went on a jaunt today. Rucksacks packed, galoshes on, Kendal Mint Cake in pockets and walking sticks at hand. We yomped down to Woolwich - oh what a day out that would be. Not on your nellie. We took the DLR train from Woolwich Arsenal to West India Quay to visit the Museum of London Docklands.

I'd rarely visited the Isle of Dogs which is plain silly as it is so close and I am actually fascinated by the whole development. In the late eighties, I visited the Design Museum at Shad Thames and had to travel back to Greater East London. My journey involved what was the new Docklands Light Railway which, at the time, seemed pointless and bleak as it travelled through an endless landscape of rubble. It does seem amazing that this mini Manhattan has grown so quickly.

Anyway, this museum was recommended to me by another local parent - let's just call him Jason Bourne for now. Bourne's intel hasn't let me down yet and I had to check this place out. I loved it. I never thought I'd enjoy an exhibition about the history of the Isle of Dogs but the museum is so well designed and professional that I'm hooked. Modern museums have a tendency to go all-out interactive, but the MoLD is fairly restrained on this part and all the better for it as I think interactives can dumb-down learning to suit the Playstation generation. The museum has incorporated a couple of small mock-Victorian streets, which are really well designed and very atmospheric. This reminds me; I must visit Dickens World this year.

Toddler Pangloss seemed to enjoy himself too. There are lots of models to look at and it was an exciting task for me to answer the barrage of "what's that?" questions.

It only cost me £5.00 to go into the museum, but it gets better as this £5.00 ticket lasts for a whole year!!!!!! So I can visit as many times as I want in the next twelve months. Incredible value. I really do urge everyone to visit the MoLD, whether you love history, looking at amazing models or fancy pretending to be a Victorian street urchin (well, takes all sorts).

Been busy

My hands have been very full over the past couple of weeks and I've had so much to blog about too. Here are the subjects I'd like to have covered if I had the time:-

• parenthood - the gift that keeps on giving
• home births - it really is the best option
• comedy - because of the above, I'm gutted that I'm missing out
• snow - how Plumsteadshire looked like a happy version of a Bruegel
• ice - how to walk on it without looking like a total berk
• Elvis - he rocks in The Shire
• chavs - why keep all your house windows wide open when it's freezing cold outside (and 1,000 other things I don't understand about them)

Woolwich Co Op petition

Reading the excellent 853 blog, I see they have flagged up a petition to save the lovely art deco Co Op building in Woolwich-on-Thames (given time the estate agents will latch on to it).

I don't know the effectiveness of these petitions, but it's worth a try. It really is a key piece of architecture in W-O-T, but hmmmm...... money talks and the developers could pass a few pound notes under a board room table at Greenwich Council and next thing we know, a bull-dozer is on site. Over the years I have become so very cynical of Greenwich Council.

On a different line of rant, the wonderful and tireless Plumstead Common Environment Group have been bashing their heads against brick walls over Greenwich Council's farcical refuse collection service. More on this when I get time.

New discoveries

Surfing around last night, I came across a couple of websites I particularly liked.

First up is Lumilyon, an artist who works in the realms of magic realism, objet trouvé, digital art. Lumilyon's work is incredibly evocative, so much so you can almost smell it (I mean that in a nice way of course).

Secondly, and in a very different vein, is Kipkay. This is one super-geek who makes essentially really dangerous things and loves playing pranks. He is basically a schoolboy at heart, messing around in science class refusing to grow up. He harks from the fabulous past before the phrase 'health and safety' was invented. As I lack scientific prowess, I wouldn't like to try these inventions as I'll probably blow the shed up.

Elvis lives!

Lots of important things to write about:-

1) Opening of the Woolwich Arsenal DLR and my sources tell me that mayor BoJo has cut the ribbon today.

2) Many fine comedians coming to The Shire.

3) Chavs......eeeeeuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwww no.

No, hot topic is that the one and only Elvis Presley is coming to Spice Island on Wednesday 21st January. Curry AND Elvis the pelvis, now that IS hot.

DLR in Woolwich

The word on the streets is that the Docklands Light Railway (you know that funny train that doesn't have a driver), is starting its' service from Woolwich Arsenal THIS SATURDAY. Form an orderly queue please.

Canning Town here I come!!!!

Comedy On The Common dot com

Our dear old Comedy On The Common now has a gleaming, brand spanking new website. Check it out for further comedy nights and more.

At a loose end on Sunday 25th January? Well why not enjoy a night of belly laughs at Comedy On The Common.

Got a whole lot of stuff to show on t'internet? Need to promote your good self? Want a website designed? Of course you do. WEEG will do it.

When will chavs become extinct?

I'm feeling really sorry for myself. You see I've lived with some nice neighbours and we get along well.

Last weekend a whole gang of chavs moved into the house next door. I'll hold back on being judgemental and see how things pan out as under their track-suited exteriors, they may be gentle and kind hearted.

Four days on and I'm already losing patience. The children have been running around until 11.30pm, they've got televisions playing in most rooms and seem not to have off switches. Whilst in my garden, one little oik climbed onto a flat roof and shouted "Oi!" to/at me. Really nice. Of course, the obligatory dogs; they're kept in a cage upstairs and bark and whine for hours on end - I would feel a whole lot better if these children were bundled in with them.

I really did want to go round, say hello and welcome them to our little corner of The Shire, but I just don't see the point. Is there any point?

Already I'm dreading Summer as I envisage garden raves and loud music long into the early hours. Oh what joy, it'll be like living in a Mike Leigh film.

Having nice neighbours is so bleedin' under-rated.

Any advice gratefully received.

Woolwich DLR opening soon

Oh boy, I am really excited about the DLR arriving at Woolwich Arsenal. Apparently, it'll be opening this month. I wouldn't mind booking a flight from London City Airport to Milan, just because I can and the journey would be so ridiculously easy.

Where else shall I go to? 

Let's see...... how about the Thames Barrier Park with its' contemporary planting and modern architecture tea house?

I'm keeping an eye on an exciting proposal for an eco visitor attraction called Biota! It's planned for Silvertown but I don't know if it's a

concept or actually being built. The architect's visuals look pretty stunning though. I'll have to find out more.

So the DLR is a bit more than a commuter's dream to get to Bank. I'm going to live my dream and sit at the very front and pretend I'm driving the driving the train.

Brilliant.

Oh yes how could I forget?

Bikes in bus lanes

Soon (like really, really soon), motorbikes will be allowed to use bus lanes.

Transport for London will be starting an 18month trial on 5th January 2009 and it seems to open up a lot of bus lanes to us. About time too. The vast majority of my commute into London Village, I will see bus lane after bus lane empty and irate drivers stuck in single file. From experience, irate drivers = irate stupid driving and that can end up with drivers swerving to peer down the road or sudden U-turns. Hmmmm. Not good for a two wheeler filtering through traffic.

So let's use those bus lanes, but let's not abuse the privilege. This is a trial period and we must show that this is a correct, safe strategy.

Oh, and let's not let our guard down as we know many car drivers don't use their left wing mirrors and definitely won't be aware of this change.

Safe riding all.

Mary Dullea

This evening I had a spare 5 minutes so thought I'd browse around on t'internet.

I like to try and keep abreast of things so thought I'd find out the latest on Mary Dullea, the lady who made national news having been mauled by dogs [I still don't understand why dangerous dogs are the acceptable face of carry a dangerous weapon], on Plumstead Common. I used a popular search engine but couldn't find out anymore on this news item.

Happily though, I discovered that Ms Dullea has a website which gives some insight into her art. Seems very impressive indeed. I know a bit more about contemporary classical music than your average Joe, but I'm no connoisseur. I hope Ms Dullea is well on the way to a full recovery and I'll be interested if she ever plays The Devil's Staircase or Century Rolls. I'll be there.

Modern architecture

I've been eager to see the architect plans for the Plumstead Manor School tuck shop for a while and have been pointed in the direction of the school's own website. In place of the pub is a modern glass construction with contemporary topiary. Looks very generic suburban architecture [at this point, I'd like to invent a new word - genurbantecture] in the style of the sports centres in Beckenham and Crook Log, Bexleyheath.

This is modern architecture without being offensive, although some would protest that this glass proposal would be a carbuncle on the face of Plumstead Common. As an example of contemporary genurbantecture, I like it. Of course, it's not aping the classicism of the existing school building, but that's good. It's not sympathetic to the Victorian terraces, but I think it's sympathetic to the Common. Time moves on and design moves on.

I'd be interested to see how the building will eventually look.

new links

I've added a couple of links to blogs I visit in the right hand column.

They are Charlton Average and Arthur Pewtys Maggot Sandwich. I haven't a faintest idea who they are but they're a jolly good read.

Plumsteadshire.com

I had actually completely forgotten about Project X, codenamed Blackbriar; the design of a full Plumsteadshire website. This blog (codenamed Richard Briers), is OK, but has many limitations. I think I should run both side by side.

I'm am (slowly), collating useful local info but so far it mainly revolves around children's facilities. Note to Greenwich Council - the swing parks in Bexley Borough are far superior to all but the one in Greenwich Park. Shame on you.

I'm slightly dubious about including a section for 'recommended trades people'. It's definitely useful but I'll then be receiving emails from people who recommend themselves but signing 'anon'. Something which is certain is that I won't have adverts on my site. Banners and pop-up ads are such a turn off which is why I don't include them here. The focus must be on the Shire, to be an asset to the community and a vehicle for me to celebrate trivia, useless knowledge and custard tarts.

Comedy On The Common

As a special offer, print this leaflet off, bring it along to this Saturday's comedy night and you can claim a bucketful of laughs.

Comedy Saturday

I hardly have time to catch my breath from last Friday's brilliant jazz night that I have to prepare for this Saturday's Comedy on the Common extravaganza.

This time ladies and gentlemen, it's a bigger, bolder, bulging pre-Christmas night of comedy. My spies tell me that disco fever will be keeping us on our toes after the comedy, so I'll have to dig out the white flares and cuban heels for the occasion.

I've been to four Comedy on the Common nights and have been very impressed; really funny comedians apart from one who was SO risqué that I laughed but knew I really shouldn't.

Let's get together and support these live events. We are at the very beginning of a cultural life that Battersea, Clapham, Bow and Camden take for granted. The organisers work really hard to get great professional acts to perform on our doorsteps and if they feel you're not interested, then you can wave bye bye to these events.

Comedy. Saturday 13th December. Doors open 7pm

email comedyonthecommon@ntlworld.com for more info.

Board game

I'm working on a little project. It's for Christmas. It's for the good citizens of Plumsteadshire.

I'll keep you posted.

Warm your cockles with Friday night jaaaaaazzzzzzzz

Tomorrow night is jazz night on Plumstead Common. Ornette Coleman has had to pull out at the last moment as he is unable to remove bubble gum from his sax. Even better though, we have shampooed the red carpet for the great Enrico Pinna Jazz Trio - please ladies, don't throw your knickers on stage.

They say tall oaks from little acorns grow. Well, NYJO haven't a patch on the talented musicians coming from Plumstead Manor School. Stand aside Jamie Cullum, let's support the future of British jazz. Let's tap our feet to Chynna Maxius and Yolanta Boti!!!!

Friday 5th December. Doors open at 7.00pm